Deadites Dethrone Spike! Tournament Champs

The MMBBL Dungeonbowl playoffs have begun, and the excitement is building right from the get-go, as the upstart Drudgetown Deadites hosted the underachieving champions, the Razor Hill Spinebreakers, at the Pit in Drudgetown this past weekend. It was a gorgeous day for a game, and the Spinebreakers would start on offense, as the Deadites won the toss and opted to defer.

As the ball took to the sky, an immense cheer went up for the Deadites, whose fans were living a veritable dream of an inaugural season. The ball came down not far from orc hero Kiro Stormaxe, who had been having a comparatively quiet season thus far. Stormaxe moved up behind troll blocker Zor Loneblow and handed off to the previously-unseen Chuck Skudfungus, who looked ready to go for a ride. With all in readiness, Loneblow scooped up the goblin in an attempt to toss him downfield, but overdid it on the wind-up and dropped Skudfungus back to the ground! With an ineffectual kick to the troll's massive foot, Skudfungus let him know he was still there, and before the pressing Deadite defense could make a move for the ball, the goblin was airborne again, and on target this time. Soaring over the heads of the Deadites' defense, Skudfungus landed expertly and stormed into the end zone to give the orc squad the early lead.

Now the test would come for the Deadites, to see if they could really hang in and bang with the big boys of the MMBBL. A high, drifting kick from the Spinebreaker defense helped their cause, but Klaatu Nikto wasn't able to pull it down cleanly. Instead the ghoul picked it up and held his ground while the Deadite line soundly thumped the orc line back off of midfield. Still, the Deadite offense wasn't making much headway, and the Spinebreakers met their charge at every turn, stifling the forward motion and keeping them well out of range of the end zone. Eventually, the pressure wore through, and Klaatu's pass to the wight X Morte went off course and fell free. Who should jump on it, then, but Kiro Stormaxe, who seemed to have had enough of conservative play. X Morte quickly recovered, however, and returned the favour to Stormaxe, sending the ball free yet again! Bobbled by Klaatu, the ball bounced around in the growing scrum, until finally it was somehow reeled in by zombie line-chump Goody Little Two Shoes. His elation was muffled by an onrush of angry greenskin, though, as blitzer Galthuk Battlewail stripped the ball from him and sent things back into chaos. Just as it seemed that Soran Steelfury of the Spinebreakers had got his mitts safely around the prize, the whistle for halftime blew, and both teams retreated to the locker rooms with the score one to nothing for the orcs.

Both squads appeared to be fired up when they came out for the second half, but perhaps a little too fired up. taunts began to fly between the two teams - words like "Bumstick" and "Kiro the Zero" were heard, and before too long a brawl broke out at midfield. It took some time for officials to get things sorted out, and there was some speculation that it was a ploy by the Spinebreakers to eat up the Deadites' chances of tying the game. in any case, the orcs kicked off eventually, and Varata Nikto was the first on the ball. Angry and frustrated, the Deadites put on a vicious display of offensive determination led by the snarling Wanna Little, who upended line orc Mok Rawtar awkwardly, resulting in a trip tot he infirmary for the normally stalwart greenskin. Calmly, Varata handed the ball off to the illustrious Klaatu, and the orc defense shifted their attention accordingly. Just as they were closing in, however, the Deadites reversed their strategy! Klaatu handed the ball back on the reversal, and Varata tossed to a now unattended Boomstick, who charged down the sideline en route to the goal line. Blitzer Godan Rockmaul made an attempt to stop the wily werewolf, but couldn't keep up, and the score was then tied at one.

With precious little time remaining, the Spinebreakers once again turned to the suspect bravery of Chuck Skudfungus. The Deadites, of course, saw this coming a mile away, and coordinated their defense to match. Skudfungus soared skyward from the mighty arms of Zor Loneblow, and landed adequately to boot! The dream in the little goblin's heart died, though, when the outstretched foot of Varata Nikto caught him as he tried to squeeze through to the endzone. The game was going to need overtime to find resolution! Unfortunately for the Spinebreakers, line orc Mok Rawtar, freshly returned from his brief stint in the doctor's office, would not be a part of it. Rawtar was bowled over yet again by Boomstick, and while not seriously injured, thought better of playing anymore and hit the showers early.

it would appear that old habits die hard, or in the case of the undead, not completely in any respect. The teams were once again at each others' throats before halftime could get underway, but this time the officials broke the affair up quickly thanks to the latest addition to the team, a deathroller with "2 serv n' prutek" painted crudely on the side. Never before has there been such a clear example of NOT fighting the law and the law very handily winning. The two teams were separated, the clock reset, and the game finally underway once more.

Now that the way was cleared for sanctioned, legal violence, Zor Loneblow wasted no time in squishing zombie blocker Ramming Speed underfoot. the undead being what they are, Mr. Speed was dragged back to the dugout to regenerate. Deadite retaliation was not far behind, though, as Boomstick shifted his attention to rookie line orc Ulrike Stonehide, whom he dropkicked into next week. The orcs stayed alert and moved about to cut off any offensive entry from the Deadites. Finally, with everyone in position, Soran Steelfury burst over the line and stripped the ball cleanly from a bewildered Klaatu Nikto, who appeared to be entirely concerned with getting away from his attacker. Kiro Stormaxe roared up behind his fellow blitzer and got hold of the ball, hoping to put the game away himself.

Back on the line of scrimmage, out of Stormaxe's peripheral vision, things weren't going anywhere near as well as he'd hoped. the hulking Frankenberry had laid out Orok Deathbane, crushing the black orc's hip and ending his season, while Godan Rockmaul fell under a blow from the completely uncontrollable Boomstick, marking the werewolf's third casualty of the day. Desperate and out of options by now, Kiro Stormaxe covered his eyes and lobbed the ball as far as possible into no-man's land. Wanna Little of the Deadites was closest to it, and scampered back with his tongue hanging out the side of his grinning mouth. Galthuk Battlewail made a move to stop the rushing Deadite, but was stiffarmed aside. The orcs were losing the numbers game, and Wanna Little was ditching coverage all the way back down the pitch. With little remaining to oppose him and no hop of catching up, the orcs could only watch as Wanna Little high-stepped into the endzone to give the Deadites the lead.

Only one hope remained for the Spinebreakers, and once again it was Chuck Skudfungus. The Deadites could put it away before he even got a chance for heroics, though, and put it away they did. The shallow kick was well out of range of the more mobile Spinebreakers, and never even got to Skudfungus before time ran out. The Deadites had pulled off the upset and completed the championship hangover that was the Spinebreakers' season.

MVPs of the match were Goody little Two Shoes of the Deadites, and Godan Rockmaul of the Spinebreakers for some great defensive work in the losing cause. Zor Loneblow also earns a nod for dominating the line of scrimmage and helping his fellow linemates out to boot.

Be sure to check back soon for more playoff updates!

Deadites Kill Farmboys in Challenge Match!

Bryag Mudrake here, following the Farmboys on the road for yet another challenge match! This team sure seems to be popular these days, arriving now at the Drudgetown Pit to answer the call of the grave! Twenty-six thousand bodies filled the stands, with less than half of them having an actual pulse. The crowd might not be described as "lively" but it was certainly animated. The real heat was happening on the pitch, where the opening coin toss gave the kick to the human team, and accusations of double-headed coins led to a screaming match on the field, and a long delay as the clock ticked down before an actual kickoff. The human team started with some surprisingly strong offensive abilities, with "Are Too" Dieter breaking off parts of Sword Boy, sending him to the infirmary to pull himself together. The strong start fell apart quickly as Stywalker fumbled the squirming ball, and the Deadites charged! Their new werewolf, Wanna Little, took the opportunity to race in and knock Stywalker sprawling, and the swift-footed ghoul Klaatu grabbed the ball, running it in for a swift touchdown!

The Deadites kicked again to the human team, this time catching the offense flat-footed with a blitz! Stywalker's handle on the ball was much more effective this time around, and sent it sailing to Willie Dee Billiams. In a shocking turn of events, Dan Solitaire managed to knock the hulking Frankenberry off his feet. Despite this, the human defenses were no match for undead muscle, and Billiams was knocked down by a rampaging Wanna Little, knocking the ball free. Players scrambled for purchase in the mess of bodies, until the ball finally landed in the hands of Denny "The Wedge" Lawson. Farmboys dodged out of coverage to clear a path for the new ball carrier, but "Porky" Hootkins tripped up and knocked himself out cold trying to get into position. Lawson soon followed, and the ball once again bounced madly amongst the players before landing beside several linemen. Varata Nikto dodged into coverage and whacked the ball to retrieve, but his clammy hands couldn't get a grip, and once again the bouncing game continued, finally landing in the paws of Boomstick! There was a squeal from the field, as Billiams put the boot to Varata, but the ref appeared to be looking at Wanna Little, who collided with Zed Malcolm, taking them both down. That cleared the way for Artie Dieter to smash Boomstick to the ground, and catch the ball as it flew from the lycanthrope's limp fingers, but Dieter was unable to reach the goal before time ran out. The Deadites decided to spend the last few moments punching people, with X Morte seriously injuring "Hobby" Oldfield. The whistle blew on the half, and the Apothecaries dragged Oldfield back for some quick work, setting him back on the field for the next drive.

The second half started with a high kick to the Deadites, which was caught handily by the ghoulish Klaatu. The human team had returned with a vengeance however, and refused to be pushed around. The pain began as Wanna Little was downed by his intended victim, and continued as the entire frontline of the Deadites' offensive line was knocked to the ground, and Farmboy linemen rushed to cover Klaatu. The wily ghoul dodged out of coverage, and snapped off a pass to Varata, Who raced up-field. "Biggy" Hagan tried to rush in to set up a block, but tripped at the end of his run, crashing at Varata's feet, unconscious! He soon was joined in the dugout by "Porky" Hootkins, who was knocked out by a crash on the line. Bizarrely, Varata stopped running, and seemed to be enjoying the carnage at midfield. This time, Billiams was charging in to get coverage on Varata, but he too tripped up within inches of the ghoul! Varata STILL hadn't moved though, instead choosing to watch Frankenberry as he inflicted a horrific gut-wound on Owen Lard, leaving him dying on the field. Apothecaries were in top shape though, and soon upgraded his condition from "F’ed-Up" to “F’ing-A", patching him up for the next drive! Whatever drugs those Apothecaries are handing out, I want some! Torch Boy continued the chaos by stomping on a prone "Hobby" Oldfield. This time though, the ref heard the ribs crack, and sent Torch Boy out for the rest of the game. "Hobby" was also patched up by the Apothecaries for the next drive. Unlike the previous medical crew helping the Farmboys out against the Carnosaurs, the local apothecaries were on top of their game! Play continued, with Varata seeming to forget that he was still supposed to run the ball in for the touchdown. He was quickly reminded as he found himself surrounded by Billiams and Solitaire. Boomstick shoved Ben-Ken Guinness into the crowd, and Wanna Little raced to the rescue, clearing the path for Varata to dodge away, and lope in for a touchdown, bringing the score to 2-0 for the Deadites.

The next drive would add further injury to grave insult. With the human team down a man, an eager Deadite fan decided that wasn't enough of a handicap. With a scream of "What do you want on your Tombstone?!" he hurled a piece of his own grave marker square at the back of Duke Stywalker's head, knocking the quarterback out cold! It was only sheer luck that the kick landed so close to the huddle of humans preparing for a textbook, if undermanned, Kessel's Run strategy. The ball bounced out of Dieter's hands as he attempted to catch, landing behind him. Ignoring the ball, Dieter and Guinness charged up-field, clearing the way for Solitaire, who nabbed the ball, and fell in behind Billiams. Boomstick ran in from the other half of the pitch and attempted to maul Billiams, but merely pushed him in front of Solitaire. Dieter shoved him clear, Solitaire handed the ball off to Billiams, and Billiams sprinted straight ahead for a rapid touchdown!

The Deadites were eager for another touchdown, but it simply was not to be. Despite a quick snap that caught the human team off-guard, the Deadites were unable to make much headway against the human frontline. Wanna Little grabbed the ball and passed it to Varata, then charged into the melee at the front line. The end of the game degenerated into a dirty brawl as both sides punched, shoved and kicked those already down, but it failed to result in any significant casualties. With the whistle the game came to an end: 2-1 for the Deadites! Match MVPs were awarded to Primitive Screwhead of the Deadites and Ben-Ken Guinness of the Farmboys, for no particular reason that comes to mind. Also worthy of recognition on the highlight reel was Torch Boy's excellent blocking abilities, and the incredible speed of Wanna Little. Congratulations to all, and I'll be back tomorrow for my regular beat covering the Blackwater Bilgerunners and another crew of corpses, the Grenedale Lesionnaires.

Rumble in Razor Hill

Kay Offwrong Reporting for MMBBL sports, on another beautiful day in Razor Hill as the Deadites are in town to clash with the Reigning Spike Tournament Champions. With a whopping 27,094 in attendance with the slight edge for the home team, the two teams took to the field. The weather was perfect for the game and the coin toss was won by the visitors, who elected to kick rather than receive. In a bit of a shocking surprise, Count Luther Von Drakenborg was wearing an official Deadites jersey and took the field to play with the boys from D-Town.

On the Kick off, the orc line took NO time getting things started pushing the Undead line back on their heels. The best hit saw Kolark Bonefist level Torch Boy, and with that Steelfury snatched up the ball and fell in behind a protective wall of orcs. Boomstick the ever Vicious Werewolf made his move and knocked over Orok Deathbane with a powerful hit. Drakenborg decided to get in on the action himself and laid another great hit on Brakgul Bloodsnarl. Line zombie Ramming Speed also tried to get in on the glory, throwing himself into Godan Rockmaul, but the orc just brushed him aside.Torch Boy managed to get to his feet from the jarring hit laid on him by Bonefist just in time to have the black orc send him into the dirt again. At home in the dirt, Torch Boy this time stayed down a little longer. Godan Rockmaul then decided to test his strength against the newest Deadite team member and sent Drakenborg into the pitch to join Torch Boy.

The rest of the orc squad couldn't muster much at the line of scrimmage aside form pushing and grappling, and the Deadites were too busy trying to keep themselves upright to make any surge of their own. But with the line occupied, Steelfury managed to make his way over midfield. Torch Boy and Drakenborg, seeing Steelfury cross into Deadite territory, teamed up together to get a good play on the greenskinned ball carrier. Drakenborg used his starry gaze, lulling Rockmaul into a stupor, thus allowing Torch boy to make a text book blitz on Steelfury. The orc took the hit in stride however and managed to not only stay on his feet, but hang onto the ball as well. Soran Steelfury, enraged at the attempt to knock him over, took his revenge out on wight Henry the Red, whose back was turned to the play while engaged in a grapple with Kiro Stormaxe. With a gut wrenching crunch Henry hit the ground, and Steelfury merely winked at the fallen Deadite as he rumbled down the sideline towards the goal line.

In a last ditch effort to free up some tacklers, Klaatu Nikto attempted to break away from the Spinebreakers big man. However, the rumbly troll Zor Loneblow spotted the crafty ghoul and managed to get his foot in the way to trip him up. More pushing ensued at the line and Steelfury seemed Home free, until Drakenborg earned his paycheck, laying a hit that sent Steelfury flat on his face! The rest of Steelfury's protection caught up to him, and managed to help him out just enough for him to exact some revenge. Struggling to his feet, he punched Varata Nikto in the side of the head, snatched up the ball and dove across the line for the first score of the game!

The following kick off landed deep, in the Deadite endzone, and the two wily ghouls headed back to retrieve the ball. Boomstick laid a solid hit on Rok Straglash as Klaatu Nikto rushed in line behind his brother Varata and Henry the Red. Ramming Speed tried his luck on Borgosh Hellrage, but the black orc tossed him to the ground with one hand and rushed towards the advancing ghouls.The orc line then laid some well placed hits and managed to leave the undead line both dazed and confused. Not a tall task when working with zombies but an accomplishment none the less.

Drakenborg knew that this time he'd have to reassemble the disarrayed zombie line, and made no mistake, shunting the shambling minions into place. With this newly reformed offensive line rushing ahead, Boomstick, riding the crest of this wave of destruction, took out his frustration at Steelfury's earlier display of scoring prowess and sent the blitzer crashing awkwardly into the ground. The hometown fans knew it looked bad and a collective sigh of relief went up when the
news arrived that he had suffered no long-term damage.

The ghouls seemed unstoppable and with time winding down Boomstick tried his luck again, this time lining up Kiro Stormaxe for an attack, but the orc was too much for him and put the wolf on his backside. With that Stormaxe was able to lay a clean hit on Klaatu Nikto, knocking the ball loose. Kiro then picked up the ball and tossed it to a wide open Mok Rawtar. The line orc must have been pre-occupied with the thoughts of touchdown glory, because he dropped the pass, and with that the whistle for halftime blew.

After the break, both teams emerged from the locker rooms and took to the pitch. The kick from the orc squad never looked good and sailed straight out of bounds. The referee decided to fetch the ball from the stands and after a lengthy wait the teams decided to use a replacement until he returned. Again, ghoul runner Klaatu grasped the ball and, as if possessed (which seems probable), he began to glide up the sideline. The struggle on the line picked up right where it left off, but this time things were much more violent. Godan Rockmaul managed a hit on Torch Boy that would sideline him for the rest of the game, and Boomstick shoved Rok Straglash out of bounds, the fans showing the appreciation by knocking out the poor line orc. With this new momentum, the lowly Sword Boy decided to test his might against Borgosh Hellrage. With all his heart and soul - perhaps maybe not the best choice of words...with all his something, anyway - he smacked the massive orc-shaped wall of bricks, sending Hellrage crashing in a heap, in an orc-shaped crater at midfield. Hellrage was in stable condition, but will be out of the lineup for the Spinebreakers next match.

In a last stand defensive effort, Galthuk Battlewail got close enough to Klaatu to strip the ball out of the ghouls hands, and it bounced free on the ground. As Battlewail attempted to pick it up, Boomstick caught him with his head down and sent him to the infirmary, where the Orc would spend the rest of the match. After realizing what had happened, Klaatu continued downfield, scooping up the prize and crossing the line to tie the game.

The Spinebreakers had too many teammates recovering to make a decent offensive drive. So the decided to field goblin Chuck Skudfungus, who's as indecent as they get. On a brilliant kick by the Deadites, Orc Thrower Go'dan Rockmaul fielded the ball and handed off to the tiny boblin, who all but fainted. The young Skudfungus closed his eyes as the talons of Zor Loneblow closed around him, and he soon felt himself soaring through the air! A moment later he opened his eyes to find himself not only alive, but near the endzone to boot! And as quickly as he had been launched into the air, he crossed the goal line giving his team the lead again.

Frustrated, the undead were determined to get their next touchdown quickly. With a decent kick the undead executed excellent placement of their offense on a brilliant quick snap. The ball was snatched up by none other than Klaatu Nikto, who made his way downfield and handed off to wight X Morte Who crossed through the sparse orc defence. The zombie line had no trouble taking care of the few orc defenders, and with a handoff to Boomstick,the speedy werewolf was in
the endzone, and the score was again tied.

Skudfungus' knees were clattering together like like a skeleton in a blizzard, as he took to the field for a second consecutive drive. As he sailed through the air this time, his trip seemed a lot shorter, and as he again opened his eyes he could barely even see the endzone, let alone reach it before certain death. The goblin managed to scramble into some degree of coverage, but the smell of fear was enough for Boomstick to track him down.The ball popped loose and was bobbled around as time ticked away; Skudfungus got to his feet and managed to kick the already downed Henry the Red just as the referee returned from the stands to hear poor Henry's ribs crack. The tiny green hero was tossed from the game and the final whistle blew. The final score was a 2-2 draw, in a dazzling display of necromayhem and goblin gutsiness.

MVPs for the game were Klaatu of the Deadites for obvious reasons, and Mok Rawtar for reasons unknown. Special mention to Skudfungus for managing to not only be productive, but to survive as well.

Deadites Outgun A-Nile-Ators in Battle of Expansion Squads

The Drudgetown Deadites saw their strong pre-season play echo in their first regular season match, as they took a 2-1 victory over the Ibisi A-Nile-Ators at Ibisi Arena this past Tuesday.

With the crowd actually favouring the visitors, the matchup was a rainy affair that put the skills of both of these newcomer teams to the test. The first test, however, would be one of strength instead of skill. To start things off, Boomstick the werewolf landed a crushing blow on 'Ators catcher Sun Bern, putting the unfortunate bird-woman out of the match. To follow it up, the zombie known as "Goodie Little Two Shoes" began what may be a career of violent irony, as he savagely kicked at a downed Ibisi linewoman. The officials easily picked up the fouling attempt and Two Shoes was tossed from the match, chased down the entry ramp by the boos of the hometown crowd.

When play resumed, it was the dangerous ghoul runner Klaatu Nikto who pounced on the loose ball, and was soon off and running for the goal line. He'd nearly gotten home free when Tefnutella, cat aspect blitzer, caught up with him and brought Nikto down with a clothesline punch to the back of the head. A great struggle followed as jackals, wights, and even zombies caught up to the scene and began to pound away at their opponents to retrieve the ball. At last, Klaatu Nikto righted himself and grabbed hold of the precious pigskin, at last plowing his way past the remaining A-Nile-Ators defense and putting the first point on the board for the Deadites.

Favourable conditions during the next kickoff would soon settle the score. Upon receiving the ball, the Ibisi squad set about a textbook offensive drive. As blitzers La Mau Meow and Tefnutella burst up the middle of the field through a gap made by the jackals, Sand Witch advanced, scooped up the ball and passed it downfield, reading their routes perfectly. La Mau Meow pulled the ball out of the air smoothly, and before any undead could get close enough, she crossed the goal line and had tied the score! Mere seconds remained in the half, and they ticked away harmlessly before the Deadites could retaliate.

After halftime, things started to get ugly. The rain continued to fall, and the pitch was a mess. The cat-aspect blitzers of the A-Nile-Ators squad hissed with displeasure at the perpetual bath, while the runny, crumbling physiques of the Deadites' zombie linemen were, well, somewhat runnier and crumblier. As the kickoff was launched, both teams seemed content to ignore the point-scoring part of the game and simply lay into each other with stubborn resolve. Perhaps this was all part of the Deadites' plan, because as soon as the various aspects of the Ibisi A-Nile-Ators had been tied up by zombies and wights, werewolf Boomstick made a break for the football and latched onto it like a fat orc child onto a bag of candied halfling noses. Those werewolves sure can move, folks! Boomstick was virtually unstoppable from that point on, and the Deadites had restored their lead with little time remaining.

Try as they might as the final minutes of the second half played out, the A-Nile-Ators couldn't quite bring it back to get the tie. The despicable Deadites shambled into Ibisi Arena and spoiled the inaugural home game for the A-Nile-Ators! We'll see if these two teams' fortunes stay their respective courses, or change like the wind blowing in from the southern deserts.

MVPs for this match were the Deadites' Goody Little Two Shoes for criminal amounts of enthusiasm, and Sand Witch of the 'Aters who played well despite her previously injured ankle. Also of note were Boomstick of the Deadites for his strong blocking technique, and Hapi Golucky of the A-Nile-Aters for similar reasons.

That's the run of the Bloodbath matches in Week 1, folks! Next up, time to see what happens over in Deathdealer Division!

Dungeonbowl Ramp-Up part 3: Bloodbath Division

Another season arrives, and the MMBBL gets a shuffling of teams once more. Some brand new, some returning from hiatus. Eight of these teams call Bloodbath Division their home, and we're about to meet them!


What still needs to be said about the Razor Hill Spinebreakers and their cinderella season? Coming out of the Scrabbled Lands, this band of tough-as-nails greenskins ploughed their way through the playoffs, knocking off lizards, humans and at last elves to capture their first championship. Led by the iron will of blitzer Kiro Stormaxe, the Spinebreakers look forward to defending their title this Winter. Stormaxe was heard to comment, "Da plan is da same. Play, win, repeat. If our game ain't broke, we don't fix it. If dem other teams' games ain't broke, we ain't got to 'em yet!"

Coached by Ryan Keizer. Arena rule: Dragon Egg: When a player fails to pick up the ball or is knocked down onto the ball, make an armour check on that player. If it breaks through, roll on the injury table, treating serious injuries as knockouts.

The Carnosaurs, after a disappointing playoff exit, are back and looking for a little revenge. Entering the new season with the third-highest team rating, these scaly scoundrels are primed to surpass their previous effort and make their run at the championship. Reporters attempted to get a statement from the immense Grimjaw the Wise, who, after taking several minutes to consider his response, uprooted a tree and threw it seventy yards into a concessions stand.

Coached by Jai Gagnon. Arena Rule: Bogged Down: Players may Go For It one less time than normal.

The surprise of the Summer season has returned! The squad that at first was unfamiliar with the very concept of scoring is back to educate the rest of the league on the rougher points of the game. Rumour has it that the Blasters did, in fact, show up for Blood Bowl Day, but no one wanted anything to do with them! When asked for comment, skeleton Cal Ciferous said "they know what's coming, but they only delayed the inevitable!". A team several thousand years old probably knows all about inevitability.

Coached by Matt Stroud. Arena Rule: Rock Solid: If a player is pushed out of bounds, the injury results in a knockout on a roll of 6-9, as opposed to the usual 8-9.


(ART NOT FINAL)

The Bleakwood Breakers hail from the elven realm of Mathora Mista, where they have honed their Blood Bowl skills since times of mist-fogged history. They played only once on Blood Bowl Day, and thusly remain an unknown factor, which is likely all a part of their plans. Thrower Elrohir Nolatari, when interviewed, left no room for interpretation of the Breakers' sentiments, stating that "this great sport has been sullied by artless brutes - undead monstrosities, vulgar orcs, dirty, smelly dwarves, and all manner of undesirable untalents. The Bleakwood Breakers will return a sense of class to the field."

Coached by Andrew Embury. Arena Rule: Stubborn Treant: At the start of each half, the kicking team places a Treant token on the pitch, along the line of scrimmage. This 2 x 2 token blocks line of sight and stops any pass scattering through it. it may not be pushed or displaced until the start of a new half or overtime period.

Taking a break from the usual shambling, moaning and generally being undead, the Deadites bring a quick, versatile offense to the division. Their prowess was evident early on Blood Bowl Day, as the impressive ghoul runner Klaatu Nikto ran for four touchdowns. A slight setback came in the loss of werewolf Come Get Some, but the remaining players, most of whom have such sketchy memories that they don't have actual names themselves, are committed to showing what necromancy can do when it puts what's left of its minds to it. Says wight blocker X Morte, "I'll swallow your soul!" Now that's enthusiasm, folks!

Coached by: Neil Davies Arena Rule: The Ball is Live!: Whenever a player attempts to pick up the ball, he or she must throw a block against it first. The ball has no skills and a strength of 1. If the result of the block knocks the ball down, it can then be picked up. If the result is a push, the ball scatters randomly. After a push result, the player may advance and try to block it again, if he or she has sufficient movement allowance remaining. These actions do not count as a blitz, but may be used as part of a blitz move.



Hailing from picturesque Koldnjard, the Fjord Rangers are a rowdy, enthusiastic sort. Fearless in the face of adversity, their lone Blood Bowl Day match was against the well-established Sun Temple Chupacabras. Their skilled, smash-mouth play style brought them a great deal of praise, and the MMBBL fandom in general is looking forward to seeing them take the pitch this week. Dag Thoresen, berserker and battle axe collector, spoke on behalf of his teammates. "Ja, ve gut sum gut expeeryence tuday. Ve ull jest vant tu git der seasun untervay und show wut ve can du." Truer, more ethnically convoluted words were never spoken.

Coached by: James Richards. Arena Rule: An Inspiration to us all: Whenever a player is seriously injured, that player's team gains a reroll token.

The A-Nile-Ators' origins are somewhat mysterious - all-female (a first for the MMBBL, which is a progressive, equal opportunity league) and also, composed entirely of animal aspects. From the lush, fertile lands surrounding the city of Ibisi, this nimble squad of femmes fatales may be too much for the monosyllabic menfolk to handle! According to the interestingly-named thrower La Nuclear Turnip, "we are prepared to let our skill do the talking. We are strong, proud, and capable of internal validation...though if someone told me that this sarong looked good on me I wouldn't mind."

Coached by: Valérie Cormier. Arena Rule: Land of Milk and Honey: Whenever a player is rolling to wake up from a knockout, add 1 to the roll.

Seventy-two years ago, in a swamp about a week away, the town of Dago's Bog was founded. It's chief exports have always been squash, peat and communicable disease, but now they're adding "Blood Bowl Action!" to that list. In a town filled with folk with more upper body muscles than brain cells and less scruples than a doppelganger in a beauty pageant, it would have been easy to assemble a group of thugs to play the game. Not so with the Farmboys, whose name in fact speaks of their character. The local government, hoping to improve their town's reputation, has selected their hardest-working, most starry-eyed young lads to bring an honest day's work to a town which views honesty as a four-letter word. As lineman Bill "Porky" Hootkins says, "I've got a problem here. No, no, no, I'm alright, I'm alright." Very laid back. Very professional!

Coached by: Jon Roth. Arena Rule: Scum and Villainy: When calculating inducements at the start of the game, each player may pay 100k to hire a "bounty hunter". A Bounty Hunter is a human lineman with the following abilities: Loner, Dirty Player, and Stab.

And that's Bloodbath Division this season! Check back again soon for Deathdealer's big mean six!

Dungeonbowl Ramp-Up part 2: Blood Bowl Day!

This weekend, our larger family of teams and coaches came together once again for an all-day Blood Bowl marathon. While it would, of course, take weeks for me to document everything that went on in the twenty-some total games that were played, I can certainly touch upon some of the highlights.

For starters, player deaths. It was a bloody, bloody Blood Bowl day, sportsfiends. All told, five bright young stars-to-be had their destiny ripped out along with assorted vital organs and tissues. Stewart Backa of the Stargazin' Farmboys met his grisly end, and was shipped back to Dago's Bog to be returned to the loam of his homeland. Likewise, feline blitzer Mademoiselle Mechante ran out of lives in a hurry and will be reduced to a spectator's point of view from the great litterbox in the sky. A werewolf known as "Come Get Some" from the Drudgetown Deadites was a victim of an unfortunate circumstance, when after being pushed into the crowd, was devoured handily by about three dozen zombies. Finally, a double blow was dealt to the Shattered Plains Rampage, as both the hippo lineman Zazuk and lion berserker Rama were inhumed by the largely unsanitary efforts of the Grenedale Lesionnaires. The Lesionnaires being what they are, were of course pleased to announce the addition of Rama and Zazuk to their lineup after those matches.

For all the sadness there was, still some joy. Most noticeably, Nala of the Rampage, who piled up a whopping three touchdowns and two MVP awards in this long day of destruction, and Klaatu Nikto of the Deadites who got in for four touchdowns. Promising preseason efforts from both individuals!

The season will be starting on Tuesday, with Bloodbath division kicking off our eight-week regular season schedule. In the next post, we'll get a look at the teams playing for the Dungeonbowl championship. This season sees a very good mix of skill and strength, so anything could happen as the Razor Hill Spinebreakers defend their league title!