Knights Survive Scrappy Shortstacks in Overtime Thriller

No one gave the Pancake Valley Shortstacks much credit, or much of a chance, all season long in the MMBBL. All that changed on Tuesday night, as these herculean halflings stood tall against the Fly-by Knights in a playoff match for the ages.

Valor Keepe Stadiumme was a strange sight to see. The Shortstacks fans in attendance outnumbered the Knights' faithful; perhaps the human team's fans thought that the victory was assured, that they'd save their cheers for the second round. Halfling visitors gladly scooped up their tickets, though, so proud they were to see their beloved Shortstacks make the playoffs in their first season.

The Shortstacks won the coin toss and chose to receive first. Perhaps the Knights were guilty of taking their small opponents lightly, perhaps they simply misread the play, but the halflings got the jump on the first half with a quick snap, and had their familiar aerial assault underway before anyone could react. Cream Sugarfoot, one of the halflings' brightest spots this season, fielded the ball and made his way forward, hading the ball off to teammate Tub Trollfodder. Trollfodder was scooped up by Mr. Tree, and launched down the pitch like a pasty rocket. Landing safely, Trollfodder scooted past the deep Knights defense and, reaching deep down for a final surge of energy, crossed the goal line. It was one to nothing for the Shortstacks, and their enthusiasm permeated the entire stadium.

The Knights, for their part, were by no means concerned for their chances. With Silver Elbow-contender Lance Freely fielding the football, the humans set about their own brand of offense, beginning with a crunch as Victor Dashing drove Cam Sizzlespam soundly into the dirt, nearly punching the halfling's mortal clock in the process. With the path cleared by his offensive line, Freely passed the ball forward to Stanley "Stainless" Steele, who made his move upfield and was over half in no time. What worked well on offense for the halflings would prove to work well on defense too, as Barkley Hobbittosser picked up and launched the little legend, Puggy Baconbreath, sending him soaring over the heads of man and half-man alike. Baconbreath landed cleanly, right in front of a bewildered Stanley Steele, and laid the nimble receiver out with a shot to the thigh. The ball came loose, but no one could get an immediate handle on it.

As the human linemen showed dominating force on the line of scrimmage, the mobile offense began to reform itself as Steele got to his feet and retrieved the wayward ball. Hobbittosser launched another halfling in an effort to recreated his previous success, but he landed far enough away for Steele to glimpse daylight. Plowing past his waist-high coverage, Stanley got into the clear and scored the tying touchdown.

A bad kick on the ensuing Shortstacks drive put the ball in the hands of Fatty "Fatty" Fat Fat, who lined up right behind Mr. Tree. Try as they did, the Knights couldn't get to Fat Fat on the blitz, and the morbidly obese little fellow was soon airborne. Right down the middle of the field he flew, and with a surprisingly nimble display of dodging, he was into the end zone to restore the Shortstacks' lead. bewildered Knights fans could only look on with mouths agape - surely they couldn't keep making this play work, could they?

The Knights themselves decided that they'd need to match pace with the diminutive Shortstacks, if only to avoid wearing themselves out with drives that went on for several minutes. Another quick snap on the kickoff gave them the jump they needed, and Lance Freely launched another pass to his favourite target, Stanley Steele. Bolting down the sideline, Steele must have been too focused on speed, unaware of a large ham that had been dropped from the stands by a careless, most likely hungry and sad fan. Steel crashed over the ham and fell flat on his face, the ball squeezing free and resting beside him. Sloth Lovechunk of the Shortstacks was the first halfling on the scene, but his priorities shifted unfortunately upon seeing the discarded ham. forgetting the prone receiver and the ball, Lovechunk actually tripped over Steele himself en route to the glazed meat, and lost consciousness upon hitting the ground. As luck would have it, following up the play was the explosive Victor Dashing, who, unimpeded by hams and men, gathered up the ball and strode into the end zone to tie the score yet again.

believe it or not, with the score tied at two, there was still plenty of time left...in the first half! Once again, the Shortstacks' standard offense ran like clockwork, and the Knights found themselves powerless to stop it. Cream Sugarfoot fielded the kick, handed off to Douche Baggins, and Barkley Hobbittosser hurled the small fellow skyward. His landing stuck, Baggins bolted through the legs of a surprised human defender, and the lead was restored once more. The crowd was going crazy, there was an electricity in the air...but more on that later.

With little time to go in the first half, the Knights received again, but thrower Lance Freely was immediately beset by both the ferocious halflings and the jeers of their fans from all around him in the stadium. Unable to get a grip on the ball, Freely was soon surrounded by Shortstacks. They pushed him aside abruptly, taking Freely out of the play, and the determined halflings surrounded the ball. Jiff Jellyroll recovered the prize, but on his way downfield, the halftime whistle sounded. The Pancake Valley Shortstacks were leading three to two - could they hold on, or would the stunned Knights recover in the second period?

As the second half started, the effects of human beer on halfling physiology became evident, as a particularly belligerent little fellow lobbed what may have been his second bottle onto the pitch, clocking young Knights receiver Brad Attitûd in the back of the head. Enraged by this, the human fans present cried out for justice. An unnamed duke in attendance took particular exception to this foul play, and hurls his gauntlet onto the field as a challenge to the drunken halfling. The gauntlet caught Shortstacks player Fatty Fat Fat square in the head, and as the large lad was haled away on a stretcher, the crowd seemed to settle down, accepting this result as a substitute for conventional satisfaction of honour.

As play finally started, The ball came to Lance Freely, who again had trouble getting a handle on it. Seizing the opportunity, Barkley Hobbittosser planted his feet and pitched a surprised Tub Trollfodder into coverage. Trollfodder made his landing, and to the surprise of all, got hold of the ball, taking off downfield, hoping to score before his stomach caught up to him. Frustrated beyond belief, Freely charged after him, finally knocking the halfling out and getting the ball back. Not willing to push his luck by holding on to it any longer, Freely passed downfield to - guess who - Stanley Steele, who made the catch and was in the clear. The only thing between Steele and the end zone was clear, open air. He didn't even notice the smell of ozone, but felt its results immediately, when from out of the blue came a bolt which stunned the hard-luck catcher and dropped him to the ground like a sack of potatoes.

On the scene quickly was Cream Sugarfoot of the Shortstacks, picking up the smoking football and running like a bullet back up to his tree folk teammates. not quite able to make it, Sugarfoot passed to Tub Trollfodder, but the pass was dropped. It was the Knights' turn to be opportunistic now, and lineman Abraham Sandwich got hold of the ball. Barkley Hobbittosser, fixing to stop this renewed Knights surge, tossed Puggy Baconbreath into the mix, and Puggy landed on target, quickly pushing Sandwich down and stripping the ball from his arms. With chaos erupting everywhere, no one noticed as Chet Jackweed coolly shoved his halfling coverage into the stands before marching up to the ball, recovering it, and plowing his way into the end zone. after much effort, the Knights had tied the game again...but would the Shortstacks simply steal the lead back?

The answer, of course, was "yes, they would". he kickoff was clean, And saw Flapjack Porkbelly pick up the ball. He handed it off immediately to Pimpley Backfat, and Mr. Tree went through the motions, lobbing Backfat downfield where he landed cleanly. Try as they might, the Knights' deep defense could not find an answer to the dodges and dekes of these crafty halflings, and Pimpley Backfat made it 4-3 for the Shortstacks with graceful ease.

Down by a point with little time remaining, the Knights needed everyone to be playing perfectly on this last drive. Lance Freely fielded the high kick, and ran forward to make his throw go as far as possible. Barkley Hobbittosser loaded up Puggy Baconbreath and prepared to throw him at Freely, looking to end the game right there - but Baconbreath's pants became fouled in some branches, and the star player fell safely but pantless to the turf. Freely flung the ball into the air, and it came down in the hands of Stanley Steele. "Stainless" was off like a shot and into the end zone, and the whistle blew. the score was four points apiece, and we were going to overtime.

The Fly-by Knights won the coin toss and, not surprisingly, elected to receive. Much to the humans' delight, the halfling kick went out of bounds, and Lance Freely started the overtime period with the ball in his hands. What didn't go over so well was the heat - for whatever reason, nature had decided to test the players against the elements. despite the adverse conditions for an already tired team, Lance Freely found Stanley "Stainless" Steele open at the sidelines. Mr. Tree of the Shortstacks wasn't about to let him get away, and picked up Tub Trollfodder to chuck in Steele's general direction. the toss was quite good, but the landing was botched, and badly. Tub Trollfodder left the game with a badly mangled ankle, likely to slow the plucky halfling down in the future. With coverage blown, Steele was home free, and the Knights were glad to take an early lead in the overtime.

With the heat stifling both teams and exhausting their numbers, the Knights kicked off to the Shortstacks. Another bad kick saw the ball come directly to Douche Baggins, who was tossed downfield by Mr. Tree, only to land well short of his goal. In a panic, staring down a line of human defenders, Baggins retreated to the safety of the halfling front line, and handed off to Puggy Baconbreath just to be safe. With the sound of Barglesnart Livingstone banging on their figurative door, the frantic Shortstacks tried again, this time to great success. Puggy was airborne and landed in a matter of moments, and once again, the humans' deep defense couldn't contain the shifty halfling offense.

As the heat persisted, several more halflings simply couldn't take it, and refused to get out of the kitchen, where their team chef was making popsicles. To make matters worse, the referees had succumbed to heat exhaustion as well, and the remainder of the match was poised to proceed however its participants saw fit. Lance Freely may have been the lone cool head on the pitch, as he shovel-passed the ball to Stanley Steele. Looking for the stop, Barkley chucked Puggy Baconbreath into the way, but the star landed squarely on top of his own teammate, Pimpley Backfat. Though there was a great deal of confusion, both emerged unharmed, and Puggy got up to give Steele a mighty shove. Steele dodged the blow neatly and turned to run laterally and find an opening. Meanwhile, the halflings began the process of evening the odds, with Jiff Jellyroll and company shoving Tad Overdrest out of bounds. Pip Pieface was next to be thrown to glory, landing right next to Stanley Steele and lending a hand as Puggy Baconbreath bore down on the receiver. The hit was true, Steele went down and the ball squirted free to Pieface, and to make matters worse for the Knights, Baconbreath then proceeded to foul Steel outright, knocking the man out cold!

Puggy Baconbreath's rampage continued as he blitzed through Abraham Sandwich, clearing the path for Pip Pieface to get to a treeman. Chucked by Barkley Hobbittosser, Pieface was unable to stick the landing, though he himself was uninjured. On the spot was Lance Freely, who saw nothing but carnage all around him. Picking up the ball, moving to avoid pursuit, he looked...and found Cyrano de Baggagerack, open and not far from the end zone! That pass was up, deep, the longest pass of the night and in recent memory...and was caught! de Baggagerack hauled the ball in and stormed over the goal line, giving the Knights the lead for the first time, and with mere seconds remaining to play.

As the players took the field once more, the heat wave broke and turned to driving rain, further complicating things for any would-be ball carriers. As the kick landed, Puggy Baconbreath made his move to retrieve the ball...and lost his grip on it. Time expired, and the Knights' faithful rejoiced. A game for the ages had been played, nearly lost, and won by their beloved Blue and Green. You couldn't ask for a more exciting finish. The Shortstacks, for their part, were cheered relentlessly by their fans despite the loss, and shook hands with the humans after the game, with newfound respect and many words of support. Don't be surprised if, the next time you hear someone say that a halfling can't play Blood Bowl, it's a human who steps up to defend the small wonders.

MVPs of this incredible match were Cream Sugarfoot, the fast moving Pancake Valley Shortstack, and lineman Wamsley Wedgeworth of the Fly-by Knights. Also worthy of accolades were the impressively sure-footed Fatty "Fatty" Fat Fat, and the alert pass-defending skill of Chet Jackweed.

What a finish, Sportsfiends! And the fun's only just started, as two more playoff matches are just over the horizon - the Blueriver Wardoves renew hostilities with the Sun Temple Chupacabras, while the Darkmire Carnosaurs square off against the Razor Hill Spinebreakers. See you then!

Kiro Still a Hero; Halflings Still at Zero

The Razor Hill Spinebreakers threw down a challenge to the Pancake Valley Shortstacks this weekend, daring the halflings to meet them in their home venue of Dragon Spine Arena. The halflings gleefully accepted, eager to sample the orcish cuisine known as "knuckle sandwiches". Either someone never told them what that means, or there were going to be some orcs with very sore hands.

The crowd was nearly evenly split by numbers, but the orc fans out-massed the halfling supporters by at least three or four times. Kicking off first, the halflings' lazy, high kick was fielded easily by Kiro Stormaxe, who set off immediately down the field. Orc strategy would depend largely on avoiding the Shortstacks' two enormous treemen. Brakgul Bloodsnarl missed that memo apparently, and simply took it upon himself to knock one of them over. Mr. Tree hit the dirt with a thunderous crash, but was unharmed. The pitch, however, had been given a sizable groove. Barkley Hobbittosser, the other massive treeman, responded with his usual wooden displeasure, slapping Spinebreakers' troll Zor Loneblow to the ground.

The Shortstacks, battle-ready but not completely foolhardy, drew themselves back, dodging nimbly away from the onrushing orcs, playing their style of zone defense to compensate for their small stature. Kiro Stormaxe saw the opening this created, but it was part of the plan for the halflings. No sooner than had Stormaxe made his cut out to the sideline, Fatty "Fatty" Fat Fat came rolling through (no, seriously, he was not running) and shoved Stormaxe down under his ominous rolls. The ball squirted free into the crowd, and was nearly grabbed up by Pimpley Backfat.

Kiro Stormaxe, having shoved the bulbous Fat Fat aside, regained his footing and hunted for the loose ball. unable to pick it up cleanly, it bounced through the melee until blitzer Galthuk Battlewail managed to get ahold of it. In defense, Barkley Hobbittosser hurled an unsuspecting Jiff Jellyroll into coverage to stop him, but the halfling landed unconscious and was merely a speed bump on Battlewail's journey. Meanwhile, the path stayed relatively clear as the orc blockers, led by Kolark Bonefist, kept Mr. Tree on his stump indefinitely. Godan Rockmaul joined Kiro Stormaxe in blazing a path, and Galthuk Battlewail followed them up, joining his fellow blitzers in the end zone for a bit of a dance. The crowd went wild as the Orky Shuffle was born.

On defense now, the orcs kept to their game plan. The halflings looked for their quick tossing play to earn them a tying score, but when Mr. Tree lobbed Fatty Fat Fat skyward, the rotund fellow landed with as much grace as an ogre belly-flopping into a slaughterhouse. Zor Loneblow crashed once more into Mr. Tree, and both giants fell to the ground, though the treeman got the worst of it. as time ticked away, the Spinebreakers made every attempt to make life miserable for every halfling within arm's reach. Soran Steelfury brought his elbow down on Cam Sizzlespam, leaving him mangled and in need of some serious recuperation time.

With he ball unguarded, Gan'rul Bloodeye made his grab for it, but upon picking a target, bobbled the ball before he could get it away. In a last-ditch effort, Hobbittosser hurled the closest halfling available, Cream Sugarfoot, towards the ball, but the halfling stumbled trying to reach it. Time expired in the first half and the Razor Hill Spinebreakers held the lead going into the second half.

The halflings seemed all business upon their return to the field of play, but even their steely gazes earned them scorn from the loud, rowdy orc fans. To make matters worse, once the kick was put into play by the Spinebreakers, Douche Baggins was clocked with a well-placed stone from somewhere in the crowd. This angered the mighty Hobbittosser, and his first course of action was to knock out Brakgul Bloodsnarl with a swat of his massive arm that sent the blocker hurtling directly into the infirmary to sleep it off. In the confusion, Douche Baggins had managed to right himself and made a run for the end zone with the ball. Soran Steelfury was on him in a heartbeat, however, and Baggins was clobbered soundly, needing to be dragged off by the coaching staff.

Barkley Hobbittosser seemed content to keep up his strategy of hurling halflings headlong into harm's way, but his sweaty, terrified teammates quickly became too slippery to get a good grip on. Tumbling from his grip as if they had been secreting butter from every pore, Hobbittosser had to look for drier projectiles or simply resort to smashing things first-hand. Halfling #7, Dip Deadweight, got ahold of the football, but was laid out by the big fist of Godan Rockmaul, who retrieved the ball and started downfield. The hits kept coming as Borgosh Hellrage joined the charge, putting Cream Sugarfoot on his backside and doing his bes to keep pace with Steelfury, who knocked out Tub Trollfodder and kept going.

Finally, Hobbittosser was able to get a grip on a halfling, and hurled a dazed Flapjack Porkbelly into coverage. Desperately needing a stop, Sloth Lovechunk dashed in, vaulted over his fallen comrade, and punched Soran Steelfury square in the nose! Steelfury lost his grip on the ball, and Lovechunk gathered it up and pitched it as far downfield as he could. There waiting, however, was Gan'rul Bloodeye. After bobbling the ball yet again, it seemed there might be a chance for the halflings, but Dip Deadweight, on whom all hope was riding, tripped over the foot of the orc he was escaping from and fell head-first onto a discarded armour spike, reducing him to brain-kabobs. Finally getting his act together, and perhaps inspired by this recent gruesome development, Bloodeye tossed the ball to Kiro Stormaxe in the open, and Stormaxe ran unhindered into the end zone just as time expired. The final score - two to nothing for the Razor Hill Spinebreakers.

The match MVP awards for this game went to Cream Sugarfoot of the Shortstacks, and Soran Steelfury of the Spinebreakers, who played very strongly, keeping the opponent at a distance while running through coverage. Also notable were fellow blitzers Godan Rockmaul and Galthuk Battlewail, who were twin pinnacles of defense throughout the match. With role models like Beef Bigaxe and Raziek Bloodrage to look up to, is it any wonder that these orcs are rushing headlong towards greatness?

Halflings Come Up Short Against Raiders

Our second game out of Bloodbath division saw the diminutive yet determined Pancake Valley Shortstacks test their mettle against the rowdy Asgard Raiders. It's pots and pans versus looting and pillaging. Midgets and mayhem, at the Frying Pan!

There was no doubt about the atmosphere in this game. From early dawn it had rained, through breakfast, brunch, lunch, teatime, dinner and supper, leaving the Frying Pan a soggy, muddy mess for the match. Even as the teams took to the pitch, the rain kept coming. Winning the coin toss, the Shortstacks chose to receive first, and lined up behind their formidable treemen, Barkley Hobbittosser and Mr. Tree (who were quite invigourated by all the precipitation) as the Asgard Raiders took their defensive positions. The halflings looked ready to start. but the norsemen were even readier - blitzing across midfield, the defense stormed their tiny opponents. Still, Fatty "Fatty" Fat Fat of the Shortstacks managed to get ahold of the ball and make his way to Barkley Hobbittosser, and the treeman hurled the little fellow downfield where he landed expertly.

The downfall of the halfling playbook is usually their lack of mobility, and this came to the fore early on. Egil Stoneheart throttled Dip Deadweight, tossing him off to the sidelines after rendering him unconscious and out of service. Further down the field, Tyr Warriov caught up with the trundling Fatty, knocked him down with an overhand smash, and recovered the ball in one swift motion. Looking to correct the problem, Hobbittosser picked up the nearest teammate - this time Sloth Lovechunk - and pitched him downfield to help recover the ball. Unfortunately, Lovechunk didn't land well and was a bit dazed. Standing up to get back that which was taken from him, Fatty Fat Fat was dumped into the stands by Norse thrower Egor Longrow, and landed roughly on a sausage cart which robbed him of his consciousness. Now Mr. Tree was joining the game of halfling lawn darts, hurling Cam Sizzlespam into coverage, this one landing much more smoothly.

Getting his bearings, Sloth Lovechunk dodged nimbly out from under his would-be assailants and laid a blitz on the unsuspecting Ingdor Hamerzeit. Fortunately for Hamerzeit, not much suspicion is needed to fend off a halfling attack, and Lovechunk was dumped on his bottom and left too bruised to continue playing. Apparently taken by a bout of maddened rage, Hamerzeit followed up by crippling Pip Pieface with an inspired body slam. The landing fractured Pieface's skull, but proper care from the team doctors led him safely back to his senses.

The airborne defense persisted for the Shortstacks, as Flapjack Porkbelly was lobbed skyward, only to land abruptly on his back. The norsemen continued to clear a path for Tyr Warriov, with Egil Stoneheart leading the charge and trampling Tub Trollfodder underfoot. As Trollfodder was removed from the pitch, no one noticed as Gunnvor Odinson hit a downed Cream Sugarfoot with a hip drop, knocking the halfling out and eliminating the last line of defense. Tyr Warriov strode into the end zone and howled madly at the fans, scaring most of them out of the first few rows of seating.

With the next kickoff came renewed encouragement from the halfling fans, yelling their support for the hometown crowd. Inspired by this show of support, Jiff Jellyroll deftly picked up the ball and made a handoff to Fiddley Diddlebottom, who buckled up and prepared to ride the catapult arm of Barkley Hobbittosser. The treeman's aim was true, and Diddlebottom landed softly, breaking into a run for the end zone! Using every ounce of energy in his squat little legs, Diddlebottom surged to the end zone...and tripped on an errant bagel dropped earlier by one of his teammates. The stadium groaned collectively, and the Raiders fell back to retrieve the lost ball. Egor Longrow was first on the spot, but couldn't get a grip on the rain-slick football, and it squirted free once more. With time running down, the Shortstacks turned once again to desperate measures. Mr. Tree attempted to chuck Dunk Dillweed downfield to recover the ball, but fumbled the halfling, dropping him waist-deep into the mud. The norsemen had no time for another score before halftime, but as Egor Longrow finally got the ball in his hands, he managed a shovel pass to Ingdor Hamerzeit. Hamerzeit, still foaming from his previous frenzy, moved immediately to the fallen Fiddley Diddlebottom and kicked him squarely in the pastries, earning himself a match penalty. Going into halftime, the score remained 1-0 for the Asgard Raiders.

Down by a score, the Shortstacks kicked to the Raiders after the intermission. The kick was high and shallow, but the fielding attempt by Kari Quickstride was not effective. Seizing the opportunity, the Shortstacks were led by Barkley Hobbittosser in an effort to cross midfield. The hulking treeman clobbered the hapless Quickstride, putting the runner out of the game with a bad case of magical splinters. Dunk Dillweed then attempted to pick up the loose ball, only to fumble in the driving rain. The football bounced away, and it was scooped up by none other than Hobbittosser himself! With the significance of this event sweeping through him like an Autumn breeze, the lumbering treeman began his slog downfield, pausing momentarily to pitch the aforementioned Dunk Dillweed downfield.

The Norse were not about to let a vegetable get the best of them, and ganged up on Hobbittosser quickly. Working together, nearly a half-dozen surly vikings managed to fell the mighty treeman, and the ball once more fell free. Unable to pick it up handily, the Raiders did the next best thing - eliminate anyone else who might try to pick it up. First, Gunnvor Odinson clubbed Dunk Dillweed with his own helmet, leaving the halfling to stumble off to the infirmary. Then, Ymir Keldsvide put the hurt on Pip Pieface, who had already been brutally accosted once this match, and who folded like a napkin under this latest assault. To make matters worse for the Shortstacks, Mr. Tree found himself rooted in the middle of the pitch, unable to resist the promise of fresh rain in his roots any longer. Frustrated but full of vigour, he brought a brutal branch down on the Raiders' journeyman blocker and was called for the foul. With just such an eventuality in mind, a squadron of elite gardeners was called in to uproot and transplant Mr. Tree into a comfortably moist penalty field.

The hits kept coming as Tyr Warriov landed a heavy blow to the back of Fiddley Diddlebottom, leaving the little fellow with a more long-term injury than one would have liked. Immediately thereafter, Egil Stoneheart gave Cream Sugarfoot the boot, getting caught in the act but looking very satisfied with his three-casualty performance. With the halfling resistance dwindling, Egor Longrow got hold of the ball and began the march downfield. Now immobile himself but no less angry, Barkley Hobbittosser threw a crushing punch-block at the hapless Norse journeyman, taking the player's head clean off and sending it soaring into the upper deck. At last, the hometown crowd had something to cheer about, and Hobbittosser was given a standing ovation as the field staff dragged away what remained of the unlucky norseman. Still, Egor Longrow was left untouched in his march to the end zone, and the second Raiders touchdown essentially sealed the victory for the violent vikings.

Little time remained, but the halflings lined up bravely (what was left of them, anyway) for a final drive. Bizarrely, the Raiders seemed unwilling to put up any resistance, and in fact most of them were completely in the bag from premature victory ale. The kick was terrible to say the least, and the resulting touchback put the ball in the hands of Fatty Fat Fat. Hobbittosser picked the halfling up and pitched him forward, and he landed smoothly enough for a guy whose waistband was wider than he was tall. Huffing, puffing, sweating like a pig in a sauna, Fatty trundled towards the end zone, and the Raiders actually cheered the little fellow on...until he tripped over that suspicious bagel! A confused, angry halfling crowd pelted the field with buns and donuts in protest, which the Shortstacks collected and devoured as the Raiders went to the locker room cheering and singing despite the ringing of strudels against their helmets. The final score was two to nothing.

MVPs of this match were Gunnvor Odinson, who led his fellow linemates in a display of fearless defiance, and Pip Pieface, presumably for demonstrating the resilience of a cockroach. Also notable were Eirik Runeval's defensive guarding and Barkley Hobbittosser's knack for knocking things over and having them stay "over."