State of the MMBBL Address

The start of the Dungeonbowl season is upon us, and it's time for a "state of the league" type of address.

While we're sad at the loss of a couple of regular teams, we're happy that we've got a solid four-player base on which to expand. At one point we had envisioned allowing players to run two teams this season to add more variety, but the general consensus is that it's too much work too soon. As a result, the four players and their teams are as follows for this season.

Chris Mudd - The Days End: The Gold Miners will be taking a rest for the Winter and their place will be taken by a Vampire squad, complete with emo-goth names for the vamps and taste-related IDs for the thralls (my favourite is "Like-Chicken").

Matt Stroud - The Woad Warriors: The Fly-by Knights, being students of traditional warfare, will not compete in the Winter months. They are replaced by a squad of Norse with a Scottish bent, mostly named with permutations of famous highland folk.

Sandy Miller - The Meathooks: One of two returning squads is the Meathooks, continuing their legacy of looking at the casualty count instead of the scoreboard to measure their success. Look for them to make a splash in their second season.

Curtis Hunt - The Dusk Hill Dirt Bursters: The returning champs are, well, returning. A strong, well-rounded squad which prides itself on both the lethal efficiency of its mummies and the highlight-reel calibre play of its ghouls is sure to electrify the crowd once again...and possibly be electrified once or twice too, since they have the highest team rating in the league.

Relegation: The Fly-by Knights and Gildengrip's Gold Miners are on one-season hiatus at this point, likely to return for the Spring season. The Greenskin Bumlookers and the Low-Blows, due to the commitments of their respective coaches, are on an indefinite "stand-by" status, and may play a match here and there as their schedule and interest permits.

Introduction: One, possibly two new players will take the pitch this season. Rob Anderson is set to field a Dwarf squad (and we've seen just how fun those can be) and Andrew "Beans" Embury is listed as possible and hasn't yet chosen a team. We wish these two the best of luck, and let them know that anything can happen once you have a feel for the game. Curtis can attest to that after defeating the only two players with actual experience prior to last season in the playoffs for the Spike! title.

The league's first meeting for the Winter season is this Wednesday, and it looks like we're going to have two matches on tap. The Dirt Bursters vs the Meathooks, and the Day's End vs. the Woad Warriors. These may change depending on player availability, but if all proceeds as normal then Rob and Beans will have their own teams created before the evening ends.

That's about it for the administrative aspects of the league. On to other matters.

A minor rules change to reflect the Winter season - The Sweltering Heat result in the weather table is being replaced by a second Blizzard result. The reverse will occur in the Summer season, to reflect the...lack of blizzards, mostly.

The league is being switched over to Excel-based team sheets. This is for three very good reasons. The first is that if a sheet gets lost, we can just print a new one out. The second is that they are much tidier and easier to track stats on. The third is that, after some strange talleys during the transfer, things like missing players, phantom injuries and miscounted skill points were popping up like some kind of numerical case of chicken pox. Luckily, we got it while we were young and with luck we can be immune from this point on.

It's good to see we've got it in us for another season, it's great to see the potential for new players as well. We'll see you Wednesday night for the first matches, and then back here on the blog for the results!

Playoffs Round One: Orcs Fall, Cannot Get Up.

The preliminary round of the 2007 Autumn season of the MMBBL has come to pass, and if there's one word to use to describe the playoff outlook, it would not be "green". Both the Meathooks and the Bumlookers have been eliminated; the former by their opponents, the Dusk Hill Dirt Bursters, and the latter via default.

The Dirt Bursters beat the Meathooks by a score of 2 to 0, with Stumps O'Boggy getting the undead MVP nod for his strong blocking.The two mummies, Magut and Khermit, were also valuable forces on the pitch. Grunt Skunchman, the Meathooks' new black orc, impressed the crowds today with his first MVP vote. The Meathooks may be down, but they certainly aren't out, and they look forward to the new season beginning in January.

The Low Blows will advance to the semifinals due to scheduling problems which resulted in the Greenskin Bumlookers failing to show for their match. It has since been learned that they have defected to the obscure "Blood Bowl in Hedonism" league, due to such exclusive perks as mandatory pantless tournaments and free oil rubs. They may be seen in the future in inter-league play, and they will be missed by everyone, except possibly embarrassed announcers trying desperately to remain family-friendly during prime time.

And now, on to the semifinal matches! Tomorrow, The Lowblows play the Goldminers, and the Dirt Bursters play the Knights! Expect carnage, excitement, and a wizard or two if they can sneak past security!

Week 5 - The Last Hurrah

Three games to report on from this past week, the final week before playoffs commence in the MMBBL! (Accounts have been abbreviated due to being busy and eventually forgetting some things, sorry.)

The first match saw the Greenskin Bumlookers positively routed by Gildengrip's Goldminers. The final score was 4-0, and right from the get-go it looked like fate was stacked against the Orcs. Pro Blitzer Red Marx was tossed out on the first play for a flagrant foul, and it went downhill from there.

In match number 2, The Fly-By Knights Edged the Meathooks 2-1 in a gritty affair. Unfortunately for the Meathooks, promising lineman Chip Bonesaw suffered a broken neck, while the Knights' new blitzer Chet Jackweed took a spill which will see him benched for their first playoff game.

The third and final regular season match pitted the Low Blows against the league-leading Goldminers, and this one was closer than the 2-0 'miners' victory margin would leave you to believe. Both teams were very good defensively and bottlenecked running routes became the order of the day. After the game, the Goldminers announced that they had signed a Deathroller onto the squad for the playoffs, which will likely give this elite team the extra push (or trample) it needs to be the victors when the dust settles.

More coming soon, including results from the first playoff match!

What's Green, Loud, has 44 Legs and a Football?

Two Orc Blood Bowl teams on the pitch, of course!

This weekend's match saw that Greenskin Bumlookers edge out a 1-0 victory over the Meathooks, with every inch of field position being fought over without remorse. The match was destined to be a hotbed of hostility from the first play, as Bumlookers blitzer Red Marx was tossed from the game for the only (detected) foul of the match. Injuries were certainly a factor early on, with two near-death experiences being handled by the two squads' apothecaries. The Meathooks, however, might be better off with a box of band-aids and some polysporin.

The undoing, for the Meathooks, proved to be a number of false start penalties which cost them on a few critical plays. Their defense was stifling however, and it's to their credit that the Bumlookers, now featuring three Black Orcs on the front line, only managed the one touchdown.

The MVPs of the match were both highly deserving in the spirit of Orcish sports, in that they both caused a casualty. Chip Bonesaw, the new kid on the Meathooks squad, showed he's got the blocking skills to play with the big boys. Roger Knightly, his counterpart on the Bumlookers, displayed great poise and field presence, and is becoming another emerging pro for that squad.

In injury news, Ben Dover has recovered from his previous mishap and will be ready for the next Bumlookers game. Bloatgaar the Flatulent of the Meathooks suffered a smashed hand and will miss a game as a result.

Week Four Begins with a Whimper

Onyl one game this weekend to kick off the post-Thanksgiving (yeah, we're Canadian) Blood Bowl action, with the Meathooks meeting the Fly-by Knights this past Sunday. A nice day, roaring fans and the occasional squelching sound of a hot dog vendor being toosed over the balcony to the pitch below - what could be better?

The match wound up going in favour of the Knights, by a score of 2-1. Scoring for the Humans were catcher Stanley "Stainless" Steele, who was nearly char-broiled by a bolt of lightning from out of the clear blue sky (authorities suspect attempted arcane homicide, as Mr. Steele had not, to anyone's knowledge, angered a thunder god lately) and also Wamsley Wedgeworth, who was recently signed by a major outfitter to endorse their new "Xtra Plate" line of armour. The touchdown for the Meathooks was scored by line orc Bloatgaar the Flatulent, who is rumoured to have developed a special "pre-game meal" which adds a burst of speed to his running patterns.

MVP selections for the matchup were Beefquake of the Meathooks, who was an unstoppable dynamo of pushing, shoving, and all-around rudeness, and the just-back-from-serious-injury Flash Madison of the Fly-by Knights, who has lost any hope of being a physical presence and has embraced a more underhanded role, desperate to regain some measure of glory in the eyes of fans, now that the mere mention of being tackled causes him to curl up into a fetal crouch.

There were two injuries for each side in the match, though none was serious enough to warrant extended time away from the field for any player.

After the match, the Fly-by Knights' coach announced the signing of lineman Solomon Squatz, to increase their roster size to 14 and "really, REALLY make sure that the catchers don't have to be on the field unless they have to be".

Finally, after the game, the Meathooks' head coach held a press conference with the coach of the Greenskin Bumlookers, to finally plan out what the fans of both squads have been waiting for - Orc on Orc violence! Watch for this game to occur within the next week; it's sure to be a wild one!

Great Match, Ridiculous Amounts of Money, and New Hirings!

A make-up game for the Greenskin Bumlookers took place this Sunday, against the Fly-By Knights. This game had the greatest attendance to date, no doubt due to the hype generated around the team's coaches - rumour has it they've schooled, worked, and even lived together! Certainly the groundwork for an intense rivalry is being laid.

The game itself started in the rain, under the lights. The Knights grabbed the lead early on with a touchdown pass from Lance Freely to Stanley Steele, and then recovered the ball on defence to see it run in for the score by lineman Reginald Reginald III. The Bumlookers countered in the second half, after a tussle between the two teams on the pitch, with line orc Rod Harding bringing in the touchdown on a beautiful catch. In an amazing turn of events, the Knights dealt more damage than they sustained, injuring three Bumlookers and being no worse than knocked out themselves.

MVPs for the match were Abraham Sandwich, lineman of the Fly-By Knights, and Red Marx of the Bumlookers, who is showing his potential as a true professional Blood Bowl player. Also of note was the unflappable resolve and focus of Knights' catcher Stanley "Stainless" Steele.

A very spirited match for both sides, and it showed in the winnings, as each team pocketed 70,000 gold each! As a result, the Bumlookers hired on black orc Phil McKrackin to add even more muscle to their formidable front line, and the Knights signed blitzer Chet Jackweed, possibly the single most cocky individual to ever dance in the end zone.

Due to the holiday weekend coming up, arrangements are being made to have two more games played in the coming week. All the news and reports on them will be here as soon as they're made available to the press!

Week 2 Action, Several in Traction.

A decidedly brutal week 2 kicked off on Sunday in the MMBBL.Three games were played and it's safe to say that some serious grudges are developing.

In the first game of the day, Gildengrip's Gold Miners squared off against the Fly-by Knights. Both teams were bringing a lot of talent and guts to this match, and in the end it was a 1-1 tie on the scoreboard. The Gold Miners handed out the lion's share of the whupping, but skill managed to save the Fly-by Knights from suffering their first defeat. MVPs of the match were Mick Mithril of the Gold Miners, and Thrower Jacques Strappe of the Knights, who played very strong and has shown some phenominal physical development since last time we saw him play. A nod goes out as well to Blitzer Cyrano de Baggagerack, who scored the Knights' touchdown and had an interception as well.

The match was, as can be expected, a violent affair as well. Irgon McIrons, a previous MVP of the Gold Miners, suffered a broken neck and will be hard-pressed indeed to get himself of dangerous situations. Twice as bad for the Fly-by Knights as their previous MVP, Lineman Karl von Uberstamp, had his hip sundered and will be slower because of it, while catcher Flash Madison broke his collarbone and is now a poster boy for physical frailty.

In the second game, the Dusk Hill Dirt Bursters trounced the Low-Blows 3-0. The Dirt Bursters are developing into quite a force, and this game was highlighted by the stellar play of the Ghouls. Despite their competence, the MVP award for the undead went to Khermit the Mummy, who based on sideline accounts was shoved around a lot and moaned occasionally. For the Low-Blows the award went to Footsy Shinstomp, who may have been responsible in part for a wight spending almost the entire match in the dugout seeing stars. Ol' Teabagger of the Dirt Bursters deserves a nod for his two touchdown scores in the game.

The third game of the day was nearly cancelled due to the Bumlookers failing to show, but an eager Gold Miners squad happily obliged the Meathooks and the game was on! Te final score was a 1-1 draw, which left both teams wondering just how long they had actually bothered with the football at all. This was the second meeting of these two teams, and a bit of a rivalry is brewing here.

Starley O'Steele took the MVP award for the Gold Miners, and was an undeniable presence on the line of scrimmage. Beef Bigaxe of the Meathooks was the other MVP, displaying an herculean effort which led to the Meathooks' touchdown. He's quickly making himself a favourite for league MVP in the early running and it will be exciting to see where his play takes him in the coming weeks!

All in all a very intense week of play! Hopefully int he days to come we can bring you the next Bumlookers match, as well as more action from all the other teams in this great league! Stay tuned!

More Week 1 Results

In the final match of week one, which was delayed due to scheduling problems, we saw the Greenskin Bumlookers battle the Low-Blows, and a battle it certainly was. The Bumlookers took the match 2-0, and cause frequent, though not permanent, damage to the Low-Blows. The match's MVPs were Smurfbite for the dwarven squad, and quarterback Ben Dover of the Bumlookers, who twisted and turned his way to the award. Possibly the dirtiest match to date, there were no less than half a dozen attempted fouls. Also of note was the completion of not one but TWO completed passes by dwarf lineman Flossin Wedgie.

Now all eyes are on this Sunday, when more bonecrushing contests will take place. Commissioner's choice of Game to Watch? The Meathooks-Bumlookers match at 2 in the afternoon. Orc vs orc, and the result can only be green and hurty. See you then!