State of the MMBBL Address

The start of the Dungeonbowl season is upon us, and it's time for a "state of the league" type of address.

While we're sad at the loss of a couple of regular teams, we're happy that we've got a solid four-player base on which to expand. At one point we had envisioned allowing players to run two teams this season to add more variety, but the general consensus is that it's too much work too soon. As a result, the four players and their teams are as follows for this season.

Chris Mudd - The Days End: The Gold Miners will be taking a rest for the Winter and their place will be taken by a Vampire squad, complete with emo-goth names for the vamps and taste-related IDs for the thralls (my favourite is "Like-Chicken").

Matt Stroud - The Woad Warriors: The Fly-by Knights, being students of traditional warfare, will not compete in the Winter months. They are replaced by a squad of Norse with a Scottish bent, mostly named with permutations of famous highland folk.

Sandy Miller - The Meathooks: One of two returning squads is the Meathooks, continuing their legacy of looking at the casualty count instead of the scoreboard to measure their success. Look for them to make a splash in their second season.

Curtis Hunt - The Dusk Hill Dirt Bursters: The returning champs are, well, returning. A strong, well-rounded squad which prides itself on both the lethal efficiency of its mummies and the highlight-reel calibre play of its ghouls is sure to electrify the crowd once again...and possibly be electrified once or twice too, since they have the highest team rating in the league.

Relegation: The Fly-by Knights and Gildengrip's Gold Miners are on one-season hiatus at this point, likely to return for the Spring season. The Greenskin Bumlookers and the Low-Blows, due to the commitments of their respective coaches, are on an indefinite "stand-by" status, and may play a match here and there as their schedule and interest permits.

Introduction: One, possibly two new players will take the pitch this season. Rob Anderson is set to field a Dwarf squad (and we've seen just how fun those can be) and Andrew "Beans" Embury is listed as possible and hasn't yet chosen a team. We wish these two the best of luck, and let them know that anything can happen once you have a feel for the game. Curtis can attest to that after defeating the only two players with actual experience prior to last season in the playoffs for the Spike! title.

The league's first meeting for the Winter season is this Wednesday, and it looks like we're going to have two matches on tap. The Dirt Bursters vs the Meathooks, and the Day's End vs. the Woad Warriors. These may change depending on player availability, but if all proceeds as normal then Rob and Beans will have their own teams created before the evening ends.

That's about it for the administrative aspects of the league. On to other matters.

A minor rules change to reflect the Winter season - The Sweltering Heat result in the weather table is being replaced by a second Blizzard result. The reverse will occur in the Summer season, to reflect the...lack of blizzards, mostly.

The league is being switched over to Excel-based team sheets. This is for three very good reasons. The first is that if a sheet gets lost, we can just print a new one out. The second is that they are much tidier and easier to track stats on. The third is that, after some strange talleys during the transfer, things like missing players, phantom injuries and miscounted skill points were popping up like some kind of numerical case of chicken pox. Luckily, we got it while we were young and with luck we can be immune from this point on.

It's good to see we've got it in us for another season, it's great to see the potential for new players as well. We'll see you Wednesday night for the first matches, and then back here on the blog for the results!

The Spike! Championship Game: Guts, Gold, and Glory

Last night, in front of some 60,000 roaring fans, the best two teams in the MMBBL clashed in the biggest night of their lives. Both played hard, both fought mercilessly, but in the end there can only be one victor. It took them a come-from-behind drive late in the second half and then overtime to seal the deal, but the Dusk Hill Dirt Bursters came away with the 3-2 victory over Gildengrip's Goldminers. This, ladies and gentlemen, was one for the ages.

The first half started with a strong push from the Goldminers - in the form of the daunting Cave-Gaper deathroller. It made good use of its one trip onto the pitch, mulching zombie lineman Stumps O'Boggy, who luckily regenerated most of his mown-off parts. In response, the ever-impressive Magut made Irgon McIrons scream for mummy and put him out for the match. The score was tied after the first half, with Ned Gummers running an exceptional ground pattern for the undead and Quincy McQuicksilver of the dwarf squad cruising through the defense like a hot dwarf through butter.

The second half brought everything to a fever pitch, and saw the Dirt Bursters lay the hurt on the Goldminers. Early on, Orem Fullstock used his unconventional jump-training to motor down the field. As luck would have it, the Dirt Bursters' hired wizard was not drunk, merely disorderly, and dropped a little lightning on the charging dwarf. Fullstock survived the incident, however, and treated the fans in the end zone to the pungent odour of flash-baked dwarf sweat, to take the lead with a quarter to go. Things got messy after that, as things tend to when the undead are involved, as Ol' Teabagger the ghoul smacked Gilgarry Goldrush into the infirmary, and resident zombie hero Chunk Norton actually roundhouse kicked line dwarf Shamus smith to death. The foul went unnoticed, likely for fear that he would turn his deadly foot on the ref himself. As a result, Smith was buried in the dugout, but shortly thereafter rose and shambled across to the undead bench during a commercial break. The Dirt Bursters then charged down the pitch and Ol' Teabagger brought the game to a deadlock with mere seconds remaining. The game proceeded to overtime, and while the Dirt Busters maintained a numbers advantage, the Goldminers had the upper hand in training.

The Goldminers won the toss and gained posession early on a bad kick, but the Dirt Bursters jumped into the fray and came out of the pile with possession. it was only a matter of time before Ol' Teabagger tore down the field, and put the game away to the collective moans of the crowd - Goldminers fans in anguish, Dirt Bursters fans in what passes for enthusiasm among the undead.

The match MVPs for the Spike! Championship game were Finnick Ferrus of the Goldminers, and the impressively destructive Chunk Norris. Other standouts included Magut, the only mummy with the presence of mind to guard his cohorts, and Ol'Teabagger himself, who seems to get faster every day.

The Spike! Tournament MVP award is presented to the most outstanding star in the league, regardless of their team's success in the playoffs. This year, the honour was shared, and by two members of the same team. Gilgarry Goldrush and Quincy McQuicksilver, the elite running backs for Gildengrip's Goldminers, both showed that some dwarves can really run, and pass, when need be. Each had five touchdowns this season.

The Dirt Bursters will be back to defend the league championship for the Winter season, while the Goldminers are returning home for a long season of drinking and mining. Chances are they'll return in nicer weather, shinier than ever!

For all of us here at the MMBBL, I'm Commissioner Matt Stroud. They may be dead, but no one is living it up quite like the Dirt Bursters today. Goodnight, and we'll see you soon when the Winter season kicks off! New teams, new players, and new reasons to call in the paramedics!

Playoffs Round 2: Goldminers Strike Despite Offensive Cave-In

Gildengrip's Goldminers have advanced to the MMBBL Finals, defeating the Low Blows 3-0 in a dangerous tilt. The Goldminers will now play The Dusk Hill Dirt Bursters in the championship match, while the Low Blows return to their mountain defeated, but not downhearted.

The offensive power of the Goldminers was never truly in question, but they were handed several setbacks by a Low Blows squad with nothing to lose and plenty of attitude. While the score itself favoured the Miners, the injury talley went 4 to 1 in favour of the Low Blows. It's hard to pick which casualty had the greatest significance - Troll Slayer Edgar Bagpunch actually punched Mick Mithril of the Gold Miners to death...in the bag. He was revived by the Gold Miners' skilled medic team, only to be stomped yet again in the second half. Cedric Eyegouge managed to raise some eyebrows and probably is responsible for the loss of countless kneecaps in the booking department, as he defied the odds and managed to push over the Cave-Gaper, the Goldminer's Deathroller. I've seen many broken-down 'rollers in my day, but never one that was actually busted up by the opposing team like that. Luckily for the Goldminers, the investment isn't ruined as their mechanics have got the situation under control.

The matter of actual scoring came as no surprise to longtime Goldminers fans. Gilgarry Goldrush scored the first touchdown of the game and Quincy McQuicksilver ran in the other two scores late in the second half. This duo of dynamic running backs has become the talk of the league through these playoffs, and they're definitely the players to watch for the Goldminers when they show up for the finals round.

MVPs for the match were Pinky Earpull of the Low Blows, with a solid protective presence on the line of scrimmage, and Starley O'Steel for the Goldminers, who continued is dominance out in front. Finnick Ferris had a great game as well for the miners, and has become a part of their plan for a perfect defense, while Orem Fullstock's agility training has made him stand out as a Blitzer with an amazing vertical leap.

With the end of this match, the Low Blows have announced that they will assume a casual role in future seasons, offering perhaps a surprise challenge to another coach every so often. Still, they'll remain as a part of the MMBBL's historic inaugural season, and the word out of Devil's Ass (their hometown mine community) is that every year to commemorate it, they're going to knock over, shove around, and otherwise mishandle several machine-tractors in honour of the Dwarf who knocked over a Deathroller.

The Finals are almost here! Get ready to crown the frst ever MMBBL champions!

Playoffs Round One: Orcs Fall, Cannot Get Up.

The preliminary round of the 2007 Autumn season of the MMBBL has come to pass, and if there's one word to use to describe the playoff outlook, it would not be "green". Both the Meathooks and the Bumlookers have been eliminated; the former by their opponents, the Dusk Hill Dirt Bursters, and the latter via default.

The Dirt Bursters beat the Meathooks by a score of 2 to 0, with Stumps O'Boggy getting the undead MVP nod for his strong blocking.The two mummies, Magut and Khermit, were also valuable forces on the pitch. Grunt Skunchman, the Meathooks' new black orc, impressed the crowds today with his first MVP vote. The Meathooks may be down, but they certainly aren't out, and they look forward to the new season beginning in January.

The Low Blows will advance to the semifinals due to scheduling problems which resulted in the Greenskin Bumlookers failing to show for their match. It has since been learned that they have defected to the obscure "Blood Bowl in Hedonism" league, due to such exclusive perks as mandatory pantless tournaments and free oil rubs. They may be seen in the future in inter-league play, and they will be missed by everyone, except possibly embarrassed announcers trying desperately to remain family-friendly during prime time.

And now, on to the semifinal matches! Tomorrow, The Lowblows play the Goldminers, and the Dirt Bursters play the Knights! Expect carnage, excitement, and a wizard or two if they can sneak past security!

Week 5 - The Last Hurrah

Three games to report on from this past week, the final week before playoffs commence in the MMBBL! (Accounts have been abbreviated due to being busy and eventually forgetting some things, sorry.)

The first match saw the Greenskin Bumlookers positively routed by Gildengrip's Goldminers. The final score was 4-0, and right from the get-go it looked like fate was stacked against the Orcs. Pro Blitzer Red Marx was tossed out on the first play for a flagrant foul, and it went downhill from there.

In match number 2, The Fly-By Knights Edged the Meathooks 2-1 in a gritty affair. Unfortunately for the Meathooks, promising lineman Chip Bonesaw suffered a broken neck, while the Knights' new blitzer Chet Jackweed took a spill which will see him benched for their first playoff game.

The third and final regular season match pitted the Low Blows against the league-leading Goldminers, and this one was closer than the 2-0 'miners' victory margin would leave you to believe. Both teams were very good defensively and bottlenecked running routes became the order of the day. After the game, the Goldminers announced that they had signed a Deathroller onto the squad for the playoffs, which will likely give this elite team the extra push (or trample) it needs to be the victors when the dust settles.

More coming soon, including results from the first playoff match!

Week 2 Action, Several in Traction.

A decidedly brutal week 2 kicked off on Sunday in the MMBBL.Three games were played and it's safe to say that some serious grudges are developing.

In the first game of the day, Gildengrip's Gold Miners squared off against the Fly-by Knights. Both teams were bringing a lot of talent and guts to this match, and in the end it was a 1-1 tie on the scoreboard. The Gold Miners handed out the lion's share of the whupping, but skill managed to save the Fly-by Knights from suffering their first defeat. MVPs of the match were Mick Mithril of the Gold Miners, and Thrower Jacques Strappe of the Knights, who played very strong and has shown some phenominal physical development since last time we saw him play. A nod goes out as well to Blitzer Cyrano de Baggagerack, who scored the Knights' touchdown and had an interception as well.

The match was, as can be expected, a violent affair as well. Irgon McIrons, a previous MVP of the Gold Miners, suffered a broken neck and will be hard-pressed indeed to get himself of dangerous situations. Twice as bad for the Fly-by Knights as their previous MVP, Lineman Karl von Uberstamp, had his hip sundered and will be slower because of it, while catcher Flash Madison broke his collarbone and is now a poster boy for physical frailty.

In the second game, the Dusk Hill Dirt Bursters trounced the Low-Blows 3-0. The Dirt Bursters are developing into quite a force, and this game was highlighted by the stellar play of the Ghouls. Despite their competence, the MVP award for the undead went to Khermit the Mummy, who based on sideline accounts was shoved around a lot and moaned occasionally. For the Low-Blows the award went to Footsy Shinstomp, who may have been responsible in part for a wight spending almost the entire match in the dugout seeing stars. Ol' Teabagger of the Dirt Bursters deserves a nod for his two touchdown scores in the game.

The third game of the day was nearly cancelled due to the Bumlookers failing to show, but an eager Gold Miners squad happily obliged the Meathooks and the game was on! Te final score was a 1-1 draw, which left both teams wondering just how long they had actually bothered with the football at all. This was the second meeting of these two teams, and a bit of a rivalry is brewing here.

Starley O'Steele took the MVP award for the Gold Miners, and was an undeniable presence on the line of scrimmage. Beef Bigaxe of the Meathooks was the other MVP, displaying an herculean effort which led to the Meathooks' touchdown. He's quickly making himself a favourite for league MVP in the early running and it will be exciting to see where his play takes him in the coming weeks!

All in all a very intense week of play! Hopefully int he days to come we can bring you the next Bumlookers match, as well as more action from all the other teams in this great league! Stay tuned!

Week 01 Photos, better Late than Never!

Here's a few photos from the games player in week one. Please note that the team being used to represent the Meathooks (they're known as the Biledriver, from one of my previous seasons), are now representing the Greenskin Bumlookers in the league, with another Orc squad being used for the Meathooks from this point on.

Say hello to the Dusk Hill Dirt Bursters, resplendant in their...well, dirt.

Behold their first opponents, the highly snazzy Fly-by Knights!

The MVPs from their first match, Karl von Uberstamp for the humans, and Lez White for the undead!
Meet Gildengrip's Gold Miners, just about as shiny as it gets!And here's the Meathooks squad (or the Bumlookers, depending on what day it is I suppose) They're mean with a capital M!



The MVPs from their match, Irgon McIrons of the dwarf squad and Lockjaw for the orcs!
A moment of silence for the passing of Neddrig McNickles.
PUT TO DEAD!
Tomorrow is gameday once again, sportsfiends! reports will follow soon!