Deadites Outgun A-Nile-Ators in Battle of Expansion Squads

The Drudgetown Deadites saw their strong pre-season play echo in their first regular season match, as they took a 2-1 victory over the Ibisi A-Nile-Ators at Ibisi Arena this past Tuesday.

With the crowd actually favouring the visitors, the matchup was a rainy affair that put the skills of both of these newcomer teams to the test. The first test, however, would be one of strength instead of skill. To start things off, Boomstick the werewolf landed a crushing blow on 'Ators catcher Sun Bern, putting the unfortunate bird-woman out of the match. To follow it up, the zombie known as "Goodie Little Two Shoes" began what may be a career of violent irony, as he savagely kicked at a downed Ibisi linewoman. The officials easily picked up the fouling attempt and Two Shoes was tossed from the match, chased down the entry ramp by the boos of the hometown crowd.

When play resumed, it was the dangerous ghoul runner Klaatu Nikto who pounced on the loose ball, and was soon off and running for the goal line. He'd nearly gotten home free when Tefnutella, cat aspect blitzer, caught up with him and brought Nikto down with a clothesline punch to the back of the head. A great struggle followed as jackals, wights, and even zombies caught up to the scene and began to pound away at their opponents to retrieve the ball. At last, Klaatu Nikto righted himself and grabbed hold of the precious pigskin, at last plowing his way past the remaining A-Nile-Ators defense and putting the first point on the board for the Deadites.

Favourable conditions during the next kickoff would soon settle the score. Upon receiving the ball, the Ibisi squad set about a textbook offensive drive. As blitzers La Mau Meow and Tefnutella burst up the middle of the field through a gap made by the jackals, Sand Witch advanced, scooped up the ball and passed it downfield, reading their routes perfectly. La Mau Meow pulled the ball out of the air smoothly, and before any undead could get close enough, she crossed the goal line and had tied the score! Mere seconds remained in the half, and they ticked away harmlessly before the Deadites could retaliate.

After halftime, things started to get ugly. The rain continued to fall, and the pitch was a mess. The cat-aspect blitzers of the A-Nile-Ators squad hissed with displeasure at the perpetual bath, while the runny, crumbling physiques of the Deadites' zombie linemen were, well, somewhat runnier and crumblier. As the kickoff was launched, both teams seemed content to ignore the point-scoring part of the game and simply lay into each other with stubborn resolve. Perhaps this was all part of the Deadites' plan, because as soon as the various aspects of the Ibisi A-Nile-Ators had been tied up by zombies and wights, werewolf Boomstick made a break for the football and latched onto it like a fat orc child onto a bag of candied halfling noses. Those werewolves sure can move, folks! Boomstick was virtually unstoppable from that point on, and the Deadites had restored their lead with little time remaining.

Try as they might as the final minutes of the second half played out, the A-Nile-Ators couldn't quite bring it back to get the tie. The despicable Deadites shambled into Ibisi Arena and spoiled the inaugural home game for the A-Nile-Ators! We'll see if these two teams' fortunes stay their respective courses, or change like the wind blowing in from the southern deserts.

MVPs for this match were the Deadites' Goody Little Two Shoes for criminal amounts of enthusiasm, and Sand Witch of the 'Aters who played well despite her previously injured ankle. Also of note were Boomstick of the Deadites for his strong blocking technique, and Hapi Golucky of the A-Nile-Aters for similar reasons.

That's the run of the Bloodbath matches in Week 1, folks! Next up, time to see what happens over in Deathdealer Division!

Raiders Rejoice in the Rain

With the valkyries finally cleared out of Midgard Battlefield, the Asgard Raiders were finally able to host their match against the Traumatic Takedown. As one distraction left, however, another took its place, as the rain poured down in buckets as the squads took the field before over 24 thousand die-hard fans, mostly Norsemen and mostly drunk. The raiders won the opening coin toss, and chose to receive the ball first.

A high kick gave Asgard Raiders quarterback Egor Longrow plenty of time to get under it, but the rain foiled his attempt to field the ball cleanly. Still, he retrieved the ball from where it lay and advanced into the quickly-developing melee along the line of scrimmage. While the mobile quarterback option is somewhat anomalous in the MMBBL's ranks of throwers, few teams execute the strategy better than the stubborn Norse. With steady blocking from the linemen, Longrow pushed his way past the press of bodies and scored the first touchdown of the game on foot.

The Traumatic Takedown were eager to respond on their first possession, though their impressions came more frequently in the one-on-one blocking battles than on the scoreboard. As the sturdy chaos dwarf line paved the way for ball carrier Charlie Horse, Buster Kneecaps laid a brutal hit on runner Ymir Keldsvide, nearly killing him. The Raiders' medical staff retrieved and repaired the fallen warrior, though with significant damage to his spinal column. The crowd heaved a collective sigh of relief, as no valkyries would be needed to spirit away the mangled man.

Charlie Horse seemed home free at that point, galloping madly towards the end zone. Unfortunately, the fields of Midgard Battlefield are very often littered with slippery frost, and the centaur found such a patch, sending him crashing to the earth merely a yard and a half from his goal. To his dismay, the whistle sounded before he could right himself, and halftime saw the Raiders take a 1-0 lead to the locker room.

Upon the return to the field and the Takedown getting another crack at breaking the goose egg, they quickly set about breaking other things as well. Dead Leg charged at Tyr Warriov, picking the Norseman up in a headlock and dragging him several yards before dropping him and trampling him soundly. Though not permanently disfigured or maimed, the dizzy, bruised Warriov could only stagger to the sidelines and collapse on the refreshment table.

With the personnel advantage renewed for the chaos dwarf squad, Charlie Horse yet again made strides up the pitch. Once again he was nearly untouchable. Once again the goal was in his grasp. Once again...he upended himself on a patch of ice. There was still plenty of time on the clock however, and Horse ignored the catcalls and laughter from the Norse fans, picking himself up slowly and walking into the end zone to claim the ball and the tying point.

The Raiders received the ball once more, and set about their usual grinding ground assault. This time, runner Kari Quickstride was the carrier, shooting up the gut with linemen holding positions and shoving dwarves and hobgoblins aside. Several of the linemen, seemingly possessed with rage or perhaps simply off their medication, assaulted the Takedown's centaurs and even knocked over the mighty minotaur, M. Spazm. With the defense dwindling, Kari Quickstride picked his path and pumped his legs until there was nothing but open air between him and the end zone. Smashing the football to the earth and hurling himself into the fans, Quickstride had won the game for his Norsemen in the dying seconds.

The MVPs for this 2-1 Raiders victory were Egor Longrow, for his precision play, and Busitis "Bruce" Olecranon, who was a tough guy to get ahold of for the entire affair. both teams will have a short rest before playing again this week, back on their regular schedules. The Takedown host the Razor Hill Spinebreakers, while the Raiders will visit the Bog to play the Darkmire Carnosaurs.