Kay Offwrong reporting again, covering the recent game between the Razor Hill Spinebreakers and the newcomer elven squad from Bleakwood, the Breakers. The stadium was filled with more than 25,000 fans, over half of which were cheering on the hometown team, giving them a nice advantage.
The coin toss went the way of the elf squad, but in a bit of a surprise they elected to defer to the 2nd half. As the kick sailed into the air, dark clouds emerged and a groan went up from the stadium as rain hit the field. The orc line surged but couldn't have their way and only managed to push the Breakers defensive line back. Gan'Rul Bloodeye, the Spinebreaker thrower, was unable to pick up the ball in the rain and bobbled it. With this slight mishap, Eldril Sidewinder stared deep into the eyes of black orc Brakgul Bloodsnarl and in an instant the big orc was in a trance, allowing the Breaker defense to make their move towards the ball, charging in on the frustrated Bloodeye. Once the Elves had rushed past him, Bloodsnarl snapped out of his daze and took his frustration out on Eldril, throwing his shoulder and possibly one or two kitchen sinks into the hit. Sidewinder hit the ground clutching his ankle, and medical staff removed him from the field of play, later deciding that he should remain out for the remainder of the match.
Bloodeye managed to calm his nerves, and, hands shaking, picked up the ball to make his way into the protection of a deadly orc cage. Zor Loneblow, Spinebreaker troll, and Long Bombadil, the Breakers' inducement-paid treeman, engaged each other in a grapple that proved more potential than kinetic. The orcs slowly and methodically made their way over half. Cirdan Elensar laid a strong hit on Gan'rul Bloodeye, popping the ball loose. Soran Steelfury managed a terrific hit on wardancer Fazmir Selefar, who needed some time to rest in the infirmy until the next drive. Steelfury then scooped up the ball and made his way into the end zone for the game's first point.
The next kick from the orcs resulted in a quick rearrangement of their defense. The Kick landed nicely and Elrohir Nolatari picked up the ball. His pass to Finrod Celebrindal somehow slipped out of the catcher's hands, and the Orc line again surged, but again only managed to shove the nimble elf line. Once more, Nolatari scooped up the ball, and this time made a great pass to Celebrindal, but the whistle soon sounded to end the half.
The kickoff for the 2nd half was greeted with sunshine as the rain had decided to dissipate. Again Elrohir Nolatari was back to get the ball, but his pass was off target and sailed into the crowd. Soran Steelfury arrived, and got his hands on the ball as the crowd tossed it back onto the field. Fazmir Selefar leaped into the air, looking to land a kick on Soran, but instead landed in a heap at the orc's feet, and the Spinebreakers moved downfield. Mok Rawtar led the charge, hitting Olwe Nenharma hard enough to warrant some time to recuperate. Cirdan Elensar roared back to the play and hit Steelfury, popping the ball loose, but he was unable to hang onto it, watching it land in the grass next to Godan Rockmaul. Out of all the chaos, Steelfury managed to get his hands on the ball again, but his journey to the endzone was cut short when he tripped himself up. The final score 1-0 Spinebreakers and their loosing streak was over.
MVPs of the match were Gan'Rul Bloodeye for his calm play in the first half and Angrod Taralom who managed to hold the line against the thick green wall of the orcs.
That's all from Bleakwood, stayed tuned for more MMBBL action still to come as the regular season is in it's final leg.
Showing posts with label Week 5. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Week 5. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Friday, October 31, 2008
Norse Storm into the Bog
More than 27,000 fans watched the Darkmire Carnosaurs take on the Asgard Raiders at the Bog this past Tuesday, and while many of them had bundled up for the uncharacteristic blizzard conditions that were prevailing, the start of the game saw the snow and wind pass on down the coast, leaving a clear, if chilly sky above the stadium.
The norsemen won the coin toss and set their offense to receive the first kickoff. What they weren't counting on was that the Carnosaurs wanted the ball even more than they did. Off like a shot on the blitz, Reedrush retrieved the ball and slinked in behind several saurus for protection. The Raiders crashed on them like surf on the shore, and soon enough Reedrush emerged from the wall of reptiles to scramble in for a quick touchdown.
As the saying goes, "fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me." The Raiders were far more watchful on their next drive. Egor Longrow was first to field the ball as his teammates brought their collective strength to bear against a line of powerful saurus. waiting for an opening, Longrow found his target downfield and Kari Quickstride made certain of the catch. Several skinks went after Quickstride, but the wily runner had no trouble escaping their coverage, and just like that the game was tied at one.
Not being fooled again simply wasn't enough for the Raiders. On the ensuing kickoff, it was their turn to catch the Carnosaurs' offense flat-footed, as they stormed over midfield and practically hurled themselves at the freshly-kicked football. A mess of bodies both reptilian and mammalian followed, with Reedrush the skink eventually emerging with the prize. Clearing a path for his smaller teammate was Threehorns, who seriously mashed lineman Tyr Warriov, leaving it to the apothecaries to patch the mangled man back together. With time too short for another touchdown before half, Reedrush simply lobbed a pass to teammate Mudrunner to pad his stats a bit.
After the break, with the lizardmen receiving, the ball came to Windwhip, who fell in behind his line of massive saurus and the mighty kroxigor known as Grimjaw the Wise. The Carnosaurs churned through sections of the Norse line like so much butter, but was stripped of the ball by a desperate lineman's long reach. Egor Longrow once again got his hands on the ball and found one of his team's hired journeymen in the open. The man known simply as number six charged past any likely defenders in the Carnosaurs' backfield, and put the Raiders on top with their second score of the match.
The Raiders' kick was high on the next kickoff, and Reedrush fielded it well, hoping to get a jump on the defense and pull his team even on the scoreboard. Again, the mighty Threehorns took it upon himself to clear the way, running over lineman Sigfinn Runwald who would not return for the remainder of the game. The lizardmen made their push, but in the crush of bodies, Reedrush was taken down with injuries that will sideline him for a week at least. Egor Longrow found the lost ball and lobbed it downfield, away from everyone, and as it bounced, forgotten, on the pitch, the final whistle sounded the 2-1 victory for the Asgard Raiders.
Match MVPs were Egor Longrow of the Raiders, whose unshakable resolve led his team to the win, and Wildfang of the Carnosaurs, who made his presence well known on the line all day.
As the playoffs approach, we begin to see who the contenders are, who the pretenders are, and who the return-to-senders are as well. There are still challenge matches yet to be played, though, so don't go thinking there won't be a few surprises!
Monday, August 25, 2008
A Legend is Lost
In the game of Blood Bowl, there are great victories, as well as great losses. A league of action, excitement, and suspense, the MMBBL prides itself on being both thrilling and shocking, with emotion running high not only on the pitch, but in the stands and across the known world itself. Despite all this, no one could have foreseen, much less been ready for, the events of last week's challenge match of the Dusk Hill Dirt Bursters and the Meathooks. What follows here is only one point of view, one thin sliver of the moments which passed into history that day. There may be millions more - all holding in common the one question.
Where were you when the Legend fell?
The warm sun shone down on the pitch, and brief gusts of wind blew through the stadium as the MMBBL's two most storied teams took to the field. Separated into different divisions due to expansion, this match had been anticipated since the first kickoff of the Summer season. The Meathooks won the coin toss and elected to receive first. The wind picked up slightly as the ball was kicked into play, but proved of little consequence. Unfortunately for the Meathooks, their first pass of the game fell incomplete from Pickles to the usually-adept Hammish, and on the miscue the orc line began to collapse before the ravenous undead. Through the gaps like a bullet came who else but Ol' Teabagger, eager to make an opponent pay for its mistakes for the umpteenth time. Leaping over a fallen black orc, cruising towards the ball, O.T.B. scooped up the prize and was on his way! The only one who could hope to stop him was Gristly Slötturhaus, but the troll proved largely ineffective as opposed to simply large, and while he idly inspected the contents of his nostrils, Ol' Teabagger easily made his way down to score the first point of the game.
Once again, the Dirt Bursters kicked off to the Meathooks. The orc offense seemed much better prepared this time, even more prepared than the undead as they quickly shifted to optimize their position. Pickles caught the ball with ease, and handed off to the mighty Beef Bigaxe, the Meathooks' hard-working captain. Breaking through the surprised Dirt Bursters defense, Bigaxe was well on his way to scoring the equalizer until he was taken down by the quick Chompsalot. Coming out of the woodwork to seize another opportunity, Ol' Teabagger once again arrived ont he scene to retrieve the dropped cargo. Falling in with support from two wights, he made his way down the sideline and out of the reach of many orc players. All of them, in fact, save one Ramrod Meatmissile - a humble lineman who had only ever played a supporting role on the Meathooks squad, having only one casualty to his name and serving primarily as the free bread in a seven-course meal. However ordinary he may have been, he was about to get his moment in the spotlight.
Dodging out of coverage with skill born of pride and grit, Meatmissile weaved his way around the protection of the wights and threw a desperate block against the O.T.B., planting his feet firmly and giving the ghoul a mighty shove. Unbeknown to Meatmissile, he had firmly planted his feet directly on top of Ol' Teabagger's feet, in fact crushing several bones in the process. The sensation briefly reminded the ghoul's twisted corpse of the sensation of death, locking his limbs into a nervous memory of rigor mortis. With no way to roll with the blow, Ol' Teabagger's spine simply cracked and broke at the pelvis, and Ramrod Meatmissile ran forward another two or three yards before realizing that he had torn the undead player in half and was now draping his gore all along the sideline. The hush of death overcame the crowd for a moment, until a cry of "It's OVER!" erupted from an orc fan. The Dirt Bursters' faithful moaned and shuffled in woeful sorrow, but were drowned out by legions of death-crazed orcs chanting the name of the most unlikely of heroes - Meatmissile! was the name on the lips of every greenskin across the continent.
Finally recovering from the shock of the situation, the two wights handy to the disaster made their best effort to shove Meatmissile around, but merely pushed him onto the ball, where the surprising orc retrieved it. Finally, Lez White stripped him of the prize and recovered it, only to taste a flying forearm from Beef Bigaxe, come to protect his teammate. With the ball squirting free and the bodies piling up, the nimble Bahnaynay arrived to pick up the leftovers, and went almost unnoticed in scoring a touchdown while the rest of the players brawled in the dirt. At halftime, the score was 2-0 for the Dirt Bursters, but with the void of their best player looming large, not one of them felt like much of a winner.
The start of the second half did nothing to quell the mutterings among the crowd. People frantically tried to cancel bets. Orcs were drunk and rowdy with more than usual fury. The shambling hordes of undead looked more lost than usual, and even less happy to be there. Indeed, several had already gone back to their tombs in mourning. Nevertheless, the show did go on as Chompsalot fielded the kick. Hoping to give the undead a taste of their own medicine, the hulking T-Boner plowed through the undead line, making room for blitzers Beef Bigaxe and Moose Burger to follow up through the gaps. Bigaxe quickly stripped the ball from Chompsalot, and Burger snatched up the football. Attempting a pass to Chip Bonesaw, Burger could only grumble as the line orc dropped the pass.
The reality of the situation finally registering in the rotted minds of the Dirt Bursters line, the smashiest of smashies began their retaliatory rampage. Khermit, roaring with unholy unpleasantness clobbered black orc Grunt Skunchman, removing the big fellow from contention. Chompsalot recovered the ball once more from where it lay, and broke through the line to horrible daylight, flanked by fellow ghoul Bahnaynay. Beef Bigaxe made his best effort and stripped the ball again, but left himself open for abuse for his trouble. Chunk Norton hustled out of the pile-up and blitzed Bigaxe over the guardrail and into the crowd, where he was carried high on the arms of ecstatic orc fans until they deposited him at the dugout. Though thankful that their own star was saved from possible doom, the Meathooks unfortunately lost track of the ball at this point, and the impressive Bahnaynay gathered it into his arms and ran it in to add another point to the board.
With little time remaining, the Meathooks would have to stomach the loss of the match, but with the added sugary sensation of eliminating the greatest player in the league, it wasn't very hard to take. A few brief passing plays by Pickles and Hammish ended the contest with the Dirt Bursters taking the three to nothing victory, but without the usual joyful echo if the undead crowd to go with it. Still, despite this great loss, the Dirt Bursters have a strong corps of ghouls remaining, led by new leader Ned Gummers, with Chompsalot bringing his everyday fiend approach to the game and rookie Bahnaynay showing flashes of brilliance.
The match MVPs for the game were the mighty T-Boner of the Meathooks, and the very deserving Chompsalot of the Dirt Bursters, who really stepped up and showed dazzling agility all game long.
Only a few matches remain, sportsfiends, before the playoffs begin for the Blood Bowl Summer Championship! We'll have more reports in soon, from both myself and from the exciting gameday journal of your favourite Coach Wrangler!
Where were you when the Legend fell?
The warm sun shone down on the pitch, and brief gusts of wind blew through the stadium as the MMBBL's two most storied teams took to the field. Separated into different divisions due to expansion, this match had been anticipated since the first kickoff of the Summer season. The Meathooks won the coin toss and elected to receive first. The wind picked up slightly as the ball was kicked into play, but proved of little consequence. Unfortunately for the Meathooks, their first pass of the game fell incomplete from Pickles to the usually-adept Hammish, and on the miscue the orc line began to collapse before the ravenous undead. Through the gaps like a bullet came who else but Ol' Teabagger, eager to make an opponent pay for its mistakes for the umpteenth time. Leaping over a fallen black orc, cruising towards the ball, O.T.B. scooped up the prize and was on his way! The only one who could hope to stop him was Gristly Slötturhaus, but the troll proved largely ineffective as opposed to simply large, and while he idly inspected the contents of his nostrils, Ol' Teabagger easily made his way down to score the first point of the game.
Once again, the Dirt Bursters kicked off to the Meathooks. The orc offense seemed much better prepared this time, even more prepared than the undead as they quickly shifted to optimize their position. Pickles caught the ball with ease, and handed off to the mighty Beef Bigaxe, the Meathooks' hard-working captain. Breaking through the surprised Dirt Bursters defense, Bigaxe was well on his way to scoring the equalizer until he was taken down by the quick Chompsalot. Coming out of the woodwork to seize another opportunity, Ol' Teabagger once again arrived ont he scene to retrieve the dropped cargo. Falling in with support from two wights, he made his way down the sideline and out of the reach of many orc players. All of them, in fact, save one Ramrod Meatmissile - a humble lineman who had only ever played a supporting role on the Meathooks squad, having only one casualty to his name and serving primarily as the free bread in a seven-course meal. However ordinary he may have been, he was about to get his moment in the spotlight.
Dodging out of coverage with skill born of pride and grit, Meatmissile weaved his way around the protection of the wights and threw a desperate block against the O.T.B., planting his feet firmly and giving the ghoul a mighty shove. Unbeknown to Meatmissile, he had firmly planted his feet directly on top of Ol' Teabagger's feet, in fact crushing several bones in the process. The sensation briefly reminded the ghoul's twisted corpse of the sensation of death, locking his limbs into a nervous memory of rigor mortis. With no way to roll with the blow, Ol' Teabagger's spine simply cracked and broke at the pelvis, and Ramrod Meatmissile ran forward another two or three yards before realizing that he had torn the undead player in half and was now draping his gore all along the sideline. The hush of death overcame the crowd for a moment, until a cry of "It's OVER!" erupted from an orc fan. The Dirt Bursters' faithful moaned and shuffled in woeful sorrow, but were drowned out by legions of death-crazed orcs chanting the name of the most unlikely of heroes - Meatmissile! was the name on the lips of every greenskin across the continent.
Finally recovering from the shock of the situation, the two wights handy to the disaster made their best effort to shove Meatmissile around, but merely pushed him onto the ball, where the surprising orc retrieved it. Finally, Lez White stripped him of the prize and recovered it, only to taste a flying forearm from Beef Bigaxe, come to protect his teammate. With the ball squirting free and the bodies piling up, the nimble Bahnaynay arrived to pick up the leftovers, and went almost unnoticed in scoring a touchdown while the rest of the players brawled in the dirt. At halftime, the score was 2-0 for the Dirt Bursters, but with the void of their best player looming large, not one of them felt like much of a winner.
The start of the second half did nothing to quell the mutterings among the crowd. People frantically tried to cancel bets. Orcs were drunk and rowdy with more than usual fury. The shambling hordes of undead looked more lost than usual, and even less happy to be there. Indeed, several had already gone back to their tombs in mourning. Nevertheless, the show did go on as Chompsalot fielded the kick. Hoping to give the undead a taste of their own medicine, the hulking T-Boner plowed through the undead line, making room for blitzers Beef Bigaxe and Moose Burger to follow up through the gaps. Bigaxe quickly stripped the ball from Chompsalot, and Burger snatched up the football. Attempting a pass to Chip Bonesaw, Burger could only grumble as the line orc dropped the pass.
The reality of the situation finally registering in the rotted minds of the Dirt Bursters line, the smashiest of smashies began their retaliatory rampage. Khermit, roaring with unholy unpleasantness clobbered black orc Grunt Skunchman, removing the big fellow from contention. Chompsalot recovered the ball once more from where it lay, and broke through the line to horrible daylight, flanked by fellow ghoul Bahnaynay. Beef Bigaxe made his best effort and stripped the ball again, but left himself open for abuse for his trouble. Chunk Norton hustled out of the pile-up and blitzed Bigaxe over the guardrail and into the crowd, where he was carried high on the arms of ecstatic orc fans until they deposited him at the dugout. Though thankful that their own star was saved from possible doom, the Meathooks unfortunately lost track of the ball at this point, and the impressive Bahnaynay gathered it into his arms and ran it in to add another point to the board.
With little time remaining, the Meathooks would have to stomach the loss of the match, but with the added sugary sensation of eliminating the greatest player in the league, it wasn't very hard to take. A few brief passing plays by Pickles and Hammish ended the contest with the Dirt Bursters taking the three to nothing victory, but without the usual joyful echo if the undead crowd to go with it. Still, despite this great loss, the Dirt Bursters have a strong corps of ghouls remaining, led by new leader Ned Gummers, with Chompsalot bringing his everyday fiend approach to the game and rookie Bahnaynay showing flashes of brilliance.
The match MVPs for the game were the mighty T-Boner of the Meathooks, and the very deserving Chompsalot of the Dirt Bursters, who really stepped up and showed dazzling agility all game long.
Only a few matches remain, sportsfiends, before the playoffs begin for the Blood Bowl Summer Championship! We'll have more reports in soon, from both myself and from the exciting gameday journal of your favourite Coach Wrangler!
Friday, August 15, 2008
Go'nads Go Big, Dirt Bursters Hold on for Tie
Here we are, a mere two weeks from playoffs, and still much of the future is up in the air! In Deathdealer division this week, two games with much riding on them took place as the Smash and Go'nads did battle with the Blackwater Bilgerunners and the Dusk Hill Dirt Bursters squared off with the Blueriver Wardoves. Even weeks before the playoffs begin, these four forces can feel the do-or-die pressure building already. The only question? Who would do, and who wold die?
The Blackwater Bilgerunners, still recovering from their physical struggle with a handful of mummies, were down a few players and needed to call up a couple of rats from the practice squad to round out the team. From the very first kickoff, though, the skaven spirits were lifted as even though there were more dwarven fans on hand, the Bilgerunner supporters were loud beyond compare. The noise may have been more of a distraction than a help though, as the first pass from gutter runner Dingleberry to teammate Twinkletoes was bobbled and dropped. Twinkletoes quickly recovered from the blunder and sent the ball back to Dingleberry, who made good on the reception. With dwarf coverage coming down fast on him, Dingleberry got his foot tied up in a beard as he attempted to skitter free of danger and fell flat on his face.
Immediately on the ball to was Smash and Go'nads runner Adam Meway, who couldn't make much headway as both teams took several miscues during the broken play. Eventually the Skaven got their act together and put sufficient pressure on Meway for linerat Krunch to throw a block, and it turned out to be much more than just a block. Meway dumped the ball off on his way down, and Krunch, with a presence of mind not usually associated with the jittery Skaven race, smoothly reached out and reeled the ball in himself! Unfortunately, the rest of the dwarven line had finally caught up to the play by now, and Krunch was emphatically crunched by troll slayer Gil T. Azell. Blitzer Stu Padasso pounced on the loose ball and took a short stroll down to the end zone for the first point of the match. The boisterous crowd, once roaring for the Bilgerunners, was now erupting with song as the Go'nads faithful bellowed a drunken rendition of their team's anthem.
On the following drive, the Go'nads kicked off and stacked their defense to halt any last-minute shenanigans. Though there was time for Dingleberry to complete a pass to Twinkletoes, there wasn't time for much more. The half ended with the dwarves leading one to nothing, but with a whole new half to go it was still anyone's game.
Returning from the locker rooms and ready for action, the two squads took to the pitch once more. The Skaven kickoff left much to be desired, and though he missed the catch, runner Adam Meway was quickly on the ball and off down the field. As the defenders closed in on him, Meway lobbed the ball to his partner in crime Dick Gozinia, but the latter couldn't reel it in. Luck was with the dwarves however, as a failed pickup attempt by Gimpy the linerat saw the ball bounce right back into Adam Meway's hands. The dwarf march resumed with Meway being guarded on either side by Achilles Punks and Stu Padasso, making the crafty runner virtually untouchable. As the slow march continued, skaven tempers flared as the dwarf offense held its steady pace, until finally a quick pass from Adam Meway to a wide-open Dick Gozinia resulted in a touchdown. The dwarf crowd absolutely exploded, due to a combination of joy, beer and possibly dynamite. Up two to nothing, the Go'nads needed only weather the Bilgerunners' speedy offense for a few more minutes.
It didn't help the Bilgerunners' cause that they were still so angry from the last drive. Trash talking began brewing between the two squads as they set up for the next drive, and whatever was said must have hit home, be it comments about someone's mother's beard or someone else's peculiar looking tumor, because the players began to beat on each other before the whistle even blew! The debacle was sorted out quickly, due to the relative smallness of the Skaven and the entirely objective drunkenness of the dwarves, but time had still ticked off the clock and there was little hope for a full comeback by the Bilgerunners.
Regardless, the rats lined up for their drive. In contrast to the previous drive's sloppy kickoff, the Go'nads executed a gorgeous kick, and the ball came to rest in the furthest corner of the field. Still not dissuaded, the Skaven took their drive seriously. Piddlepaw retrieved the football and hurled it forward to Twinkletoes, who dodged a possibly disastrous hit before sprinting in for a touchdown. A small victory, however, as time ran out just seconds later. The final score was 2-1 for an elated Smash and Go'nads squad, finally experiencing the thrill of victory.
Match MVPs were Twinkletoes of the Bilgerunners for his notable blocking despite his diminutive stature, and Phil DeGrave of the Smash and Go'nads for his stellar defensive guarding.Also noteworthy were Dick Gozinia and Adam Meway, two halves of the same dwarven offensive whole and displaying impressive calm and focus when faced with even the tightest coverage. After the match, the Bilgerunners held a brief press conference to introduce their latest addition. The mighty rat ogre O'Rattigan was added to bring much-needed muscle to a speedy but underpowered Skaven squad.
The evening's second match brought the rising star of the Blueriver Wardoves into alignment with the blazing power of the Dusk Hill Dirt Bursters, whose spark has long-since exploded into a winning streak which has spanned more than two full seasons. With a strong passing game keeping them afloat, the Wardoves have seen hardship in the receiver corps, with injuries plaguing the magnificent Tsih Killwillow and Sutlan Spearflower's stunning season being cut short by his grisly demise. The Dirt Bursters, for their part, have remained dominant, despite their recent pickups Clackers Rattlehead and Eric Shun contributing little to the cause but a couple of warm spots on the bench. To meet the challenge the Dirt Bursters posed, the elves had hired on not only the illustrious Prince Moranian, but the devastatingly distracting Eldril Sidewinder as well.
The contest would prove a challenge for both sides as a third competitor made its appearance - nature itself was taking a toll on the players as the heat and humidity were far above toe comfort zone for everyone involved. Young ladies in the stands swooned as the Wardoves took to the pitch, sweaty with effort. The undead had no easy time of it either, as soggy burial wrappings and hordes of flies plagued the Dirt Bursters both on and off the field. The undead were set to receive first, and the were nearly caught with their pants down as the unbearably beautiful Eldril Sidewinder practically stunned Khermit the mummy with his latest show-stopping pose, and the elven defenders flooded through the gap as Ned Gummers caught the high kick. Furious at his own lack of attention, Khermit helped himself to some deconstructive criticism as he leveled line elf Tanthil Twigbreaker, and the latter had to be removed from the pitch, unable to return. The elves pursued the Dirt Bursters' ghouls doggedly, but Gummers and company proved too wily for them, and Ned Gummers strode into the end zone to start the scoring.
Much to the elves' chagrin, both Eldril Sidewinder and Prince Moranian were left exhausted by the heat, and needed special care from the Wardoves' Bloodweiser Babes before they could return tot the pitch. Likewise, Stumps O'Boggy and Magut of the Dirt Bursters found themselves losing consistency and required time to properly congeal once more. Another high kick, this one to the elves, started the second drive, and ace thrower Bendark Mossfang caught the ball effortlessly. The Wardoves ran their patterns as well-oiled (coconut, we're told) machine, and with calculated precision, Mossfang connected with Stryth Leafmauler on a pass. Leafmauler danced through coverage and handed off to Albiir Featherdeath, who was unscathed as he scored the tying point.
Still the heat persisted. Though those previously out of commission had returned, new players succumbed to the sun's searing rays. Mlalyn Firefawn of the Wardoves was stricken, as were Chunk Norton and Clackers Rattlehead of the Dirt Bursters. The undead offense was quick to get started, and the kick sailed wide and resulted in a touchback, giving a significant advantage to the Dirt Bursters. Ol' Teabagger started the drive with a pass to Ned Gummers, but the latter became tied up in the elven defense. Even with the added push from his teammates, Gummers gained little ground, and the half ended before more points could be earned.
After halftime, once more the mighty Magut was unable to participate due to the oppressive heat. The Wardoves, however, had adapted to the weather by summoning a contingent of tiny air elementals, with several of the creatures attending to each player, providing a cool, refreshing sensation on their skin as well as an impressive breeze which danced through their well-styled hair. This time, the elves got the jump on the undead defense, and the surprise proved costly for the Dirt Bursters as Ned Gummers was laid out by Fhorin Bloodmeadow, and will likely be missing the next match as a result. Still, one ghoul down doesn't remove the other three, and soon enough Ol' Teabagger was chasing down Bendark Mossfang for the sack. Despite the ferocious coverage, Mossfang made no mistake in hitting Angruil Grimmrose with the throw, and the showy catcher backflipped into the end zone before spiking the football into the turf as the legions of sighing elf maidens looked on.
As the next drive began, at last the brutal heat broke under the weight of impressive stormclouds, and the world was a washed-out shade of gray as the rain poured down in buckets. For every fan in the stands who sought shelter, three more simply enjoyed the rush of cool water, and while the undead sections took on the grim mood of a gloomy cemetery, the elf sections looked decidedly more like a poolside party at one of Tsih Killwillow's post-game parties. Honestly, it's a wonder anyone actually paid attention tot he rest of the game. The Dirt Bursters were certainly paying attention, though, and the undead rush to the line on the kickoff was all the elves could handle in the driving rain. Squeezing through a gap with effortless ease, who else but the O.T.B. came through, ball clutched firmly under one arm as he booked it double-time for the end zone. When this ghoul puts what's left of his mind to something, it's very, very hard to make him stop, and the score was knotted at two sooner than anyone realized.
With time enough for another drive, the Wardoves were confident that they could pull off this upset. Unfortunately things started to go sideways for them as soon as the kick was off. And undead peanut vendor, furious that the rain had ruined his heretofore booming business selling blood-flavoured slush, hurled his small vendor cart over the guardrail and onto the unsuspecting head of Valandil Dreadlily of the Wardoves. Dreadlily was fine despite suffering a crushed helmet and a bruised ego, but the gap in the elves' offense would be costly. Lacking proper support, Albiir Featherdeath was overrun by the ravenous undead, and No Guts Bob brought the hammer down on him, putting him out for the remainder of the game. With the line depleted, the elves could only hope for a desperation play to win it for them, but it was not to be. The whistle blew and the final score stood at 2-2. The unbeaten streak for the Dirt Bursters lived on, but the win streak was finally over.
Match MVPs for this game were the Blueriver Wardoves' hard-working Fhorin Bloodmeadow and the Dusk Hill Dirt Bursters' resurgent golden boy, Lanks McBreak. Further recognition goes out to Angruil Grimmrose, who was absolutely untouchable in the contest, to Dirt Bursters' mummy Khermit who redeemed himself for his early gaffe with a solid defensive presence, and to the O.T.B., whose steady play and careful ball-handling added to the legend. Amazingly enough, the fan presence for the Dusk Hill squad seemed diminished after the game. it could be that their loyalty lasts only so long as the victories pile up...or perhaps they just dried up and blew away before the rain hit.
Week five has almost drawn to a close, sportsfiends! This Sunday we'll have a clash of titans as the Dirt Bursters issue their challenge to the Meathooks, and a surprising return challenge as the Blueriver Wardoves call out the Brutakai Ragefangs once more! Look for more updates soon!
The Blackwater Bilgerunners, still recovering from their physical struggle with a handful of mummies, were down a few players and needed to call up a couple of rats from the practice squad to round out the team. From the very first kickoff, though, the skaven spirits were lifted as even though there were more dwarven fans on hand, the Bilgerunner supporters were loud beyond compare. The noise may have been more of a distraction than a help though, as the first pass from gutter runner Dingleberry to teammate Twinkletoes was bobbled and dropped. Twinkletoes quickly recovered from the blunder and sent the ball back to Dingleberry, who made good on the reception. With dwarf coverage coming down fast on him, Dingleberry got his foot tied up in a beard as he attempted to skitter free of danger and fell flat on his face.
Immediately on the ball to was Smash and Go'nads runner Adam Meway, who couldn't make much headway as both teams took several miscues during the broken play. Eventually the Skaven got their act together and put sufficient pressure on Meway for linerat Krunch to throw a block, and it turned out to be much more than just a block. Meway dumped the ball off on his way down, and Krunch, with a presence of mind not usually associated with the jittery Skaven race, smoothly reached out and reeled the ball in himself! Unfortunately, the rest of the dwarven line had finally caught up to the play by now, and Krunch was emphatically crunched by troll slayer Gil T. Azell. Blitzer Stu Padasso pounced on the loose ball and took a short stroll down to the end zone for the first point of the match. The boisterous crowd, once roaring for the Bilgerunners, was now erupting with song as the Go'nads faithful bellowed a drunken rendition of their team's anthem.
On the following drive, the Go'nads kicked off and stacked their defense to halt any last-minute shenanigans. Though there was time for Dingleberry to complete a pass to Twinkletoes, there wasn't time for much more. The half ended with the dwarves leading one to nothing, but with a whole new half to go it was still anyone's game.
Returning from the locker rooms and ready for action, the two squads took to the pitch once more. The Skaven kickoff left much to be desired, and though he missed the catch, runner Adam Meway was quickly on the ball and off down the field. As the defenders closed in on him, Meway lobbed the ball to his partner in crime Dick Gozinia, but the latter couldn't reel it in. Luck was with the dwarves however, as a failed pickup attempt by Gimpy the linerat saw the ball bounce right back into Adam Meway's hands. The dwarf march resumed with Meway being guarded on either side by Achilles Punks and Stu Padasso, making the crafty runner virtually untouchable. As the slow march continued, skaven tempers flared as the dwarf offense held its steady pace, until finally a quick pass from Adam Meway to a wide-open Dick Gozinia resulted in a touchdown. The dwarf crowd absolutely exploded, due to a combination of joy, beer and possibly dynamite. Up two to nothing, the Go'nads needed only weather the Bilgerunners' speedy offense for a few more minutes.
It didn't help the Bilgerunners' cause that they were still so angry from the last drive. Trash talking began brewing between the two squads as they set up for the next drive, and whatever was said must have hit home, be it comments about someone's mother's beard or someone else's peculiar looking tumor, because the players began to beat on each other before the whistle even blew! The debacle was sorted out quickly, due to the relative smallness of the Skaven and the entirely objective drunkenness of the dwarves, but time had still ticked off the clock and there was little hope for a full comeback by the Bilgerunners.
Regardless, the rats lined up for their drive. In contrast to the previous drive's sloppy kickoff, the Go'nads executed a gorgeous kick, and the ball came to rest in the furthest corner of the field. Still not dissuaded, the Skaven took their drive seriously. Piddlepaw retrieved the football and hurled it forward to Twinkletoes, who dodged a possibly disastrous hit before sprinting in for a touchdown. A small victory, however, as time ran out just seconds later. The final score was 2-1 for an elated Smash and Go'nads squad, finally experiencing the thrill of victory.
Match MVPs were Twinkletoes of the Bilgerunners for his notable blocking despite his diminutive stature, and Phil DeGrave of the Smash and Go'nads for his stellar defensive guarding.Also noteworthy were Dick Gozinia and Adam Meway, two halves of the same dwarven offensive whole and displaying impressive calm and focus when faced with even the tightest coverage. After the match, the Bilgerunners held a brief press conference to introduce their latest addition. The mighty rat ogre O'Rattigan was added to bring much-needed muscle to a speedy but underpowered Skaven squad.
The evening's second match brought the rising star of the Blueriver Wardoves into alignment with the blazing power of the Dusk Hill Dirt Bursters, whose spark has long-since exploded into a winning streak which has spanned more than two full seasons. With a strong passing game keeping them afloat, the Wardoves have seen hardship in the receiver corps, with injuries plaguing the magnificent Tsih Killwillow and Sutlan Spearflower's stunning season being cut short by his grisly demise. The Dirt Bursters, for their part, have remained dominant, despite their recent pickups Clackers Rattlehead and Eric Shun contributing little to the cause but a couple of warm spots on the bench. To meet the challenge the Dirt Bursters posed, the elves had hired on not only the illustrious Prince Moranian, but the devastatingly distracting Eldril Sidewinder as well.
The contest would prove a challenge for both sides as a third competitor made its appearance - nature itself was taking a toll on the players as the heat and humidity were far above toe comfort zone for everyone involved. Young ladies in the stands swooned as the Wardoves took to the pitch, sweaty with effort. The undead had no easy time of it either, as soggy burial wrappings and hordes of flies plagued the Dirt Bursters both on and off the field. The undead were set to receive first, and the were nearly caught with their pants down as the unbearably beautiful Eldril Sidewinder practically stunned Khermit the mummy with his latest show-stopping pose, and the elven defenders flooded through the gap as Ned Gummers caught the high kick. Furious at his own lack of attention, Khermit helped himself to some deconstructive criticism as he leveled line elf Tanthil Twigbreaker, and the latter had to be removed from the pitch, unable to return. The elves pursued the Dirt Bursters' ghouls doggedly, but Gummers and company proved too wily for them, and Ned Gummers strode into the end zone to start the scoring.
Much to the elves' chagrin, both Eldril Sidewinder and Prince Moranian were left exhausted by the heat, and needed special care from the Wardoves' Bloodweiser Babes before they could return tot the pitch. Likewise, Stumps O'Boggy and Magut of the Dirt Bursters found themselves losing consistency and required time to properly congeal once more. Another high kick, this one to the elves, started the second drive, and ace thrower Bendark Mossfang caught the ball effortlessly. The Wardoves ran their patterns as well-oiled (coconut, we're told) machine, and with calculated precision, Mossfang connected with Stryth Leafmauler on a pass. Leafmauler danced through coverage and handed off to Albiir Featherdeath, who was unscathed as he scored the tying point.
Still the heat persisted. Though those previously out of commission had returned, new players succumbed to the sun's searing rays. Mlalyn Firefawn of the Wardoves was stricken, as were Chunk Norton and Clackers Rattlehead of the Dirt Bursters. The undead offense was quick to get started, and the kick sailed wide and resulted in a touchback, giving a significant advantage to the Dirt Bursters. Ol' Teabagger started the drive with a pass to Ned Gummers, but the latter became tied up in the elven defense. Even with the added push from his teammates, Gummers gained little ground, and the half ended before more points could be earned.
After halftime, once more the mighty Magut was unable to participate due to the oppressive heat. The Wardoves, however, had adapted to the weather by summoning a contingent of tiny air elementals, with several of the creatures attending to each player, providing a cool, refreshing sensation on their skin as well as an impressive breeze which danced through their well-styled hair. This time, the elves got the jump on the undead defense, and the surprise proved costly for the Dirt Bursters as Ned Gummers was laid out by Fhorin Bloodmeadow, and will likely be missing the next match as a result. Still, one ghoul down doesn't remove the other three, and soon enough Ol' Teabagger was chasing down Bendark Mossfang for the sack. Despite the ferocious coverage, Mossfang made no mistake in hitting Angruil Grimmrose with the throw, and the showy catcher backflipped into the end zone before spiking the football into the turf as the legions of sighing elf maidens looked on.
As the next drive began, at last the brutal heat broke under the weight of impressive stormclouds, and the world was a washed-out shade of gray as the rain poured down in buckets. For every fan in the stands who sought shelter, three more simply enjoyed the rush of cool water, and while the undead sections took on the grim mood of a gloomy cemetery, the elf sections looked decidedly more like a poolside party at one of Tsih Killwillow's post-game parties. Honestly, it's a wonder anyone actually paid attention tot he rest of the game. The Dirt Bursters were certainly paying attention, though, and the undead rush to the line on the kickoff was all the elves could handle in the driving rain. Squeezing through a gap with effortless ease, who else but the O.T.B. came through, ball clutched firmly under one arm as he booked it double-time for the end zone. When this ghoul puts what's left of his mind to something, it's very, very hard to make him stop, and the score was knotted at two sooner than anyone realized.
With time enough for another drive, the Wardoves were confident that they could pull off this upset. Unfortunately things started to go sideways for them as soon as the kick was off. And undead peanut vendor, furious that the rain had ruined his heretofore booming business selling blood-flavoured slush, hurled his small vendor cart over the guardrail and onto the unsuspecting head of Valandil Dreadlily of the Wardoves. Dreadlily was fine despite suffering a crushed helmet and a bruised ego, but the gap in the elves' offense would be costly. Lacking proper support, Albiir Featherdeath was overrun by the ravenous undead, and No Guts Bob brought the hammer down on him, putting him out for the remainder of the game. With the line depleted, the elves could only hope for a desperation play to win it for them, but it was not to be. The whistle blew and the final score stood at 2-2. The unbeaten streak for the Dirt Bursters lived on, but the win streak was finally over.
Match MVPs for this game were the Blueriver Wardoves' hard-working Fhorin Bloodmeadow and the Dusk Hill Dirt Bursters' resurgent golden boy, Lanks McBreak. Further recognition goes out to Angruil Grimmrose, who was absolutely untouchable in the contest, to Dirt Bursters' mummy Khermit who redeemed himself for his early gaffe with a solid defensive presence, and to the O.T.B., whose steady play and careful ball-handling added to the legend. Amazingly enough, the fan presence for the Dusk Hill squad seemed diminished after the game. it could be that their loyalty lasts only so long as the victories pile up...or perhaps they just dried up and blew away before the rain hit.
Week five has almost drawn to a close, sportsfiends! This Sunday we'll have a clash of titans as the Dirt Bursters issue their challenge to the Meathooks, and a surprising return challenge as the Blueriver Wardoves call out the Brutakai Ragefangs once more! Look for more updates soon!
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Electrifying Elves Shock Meathooks
Hello again out there, sportsfiends! The final game of the Chaos Cup season took place on Tuesday night, and although there was no championship to fight for, the Blueriver Wardoves and the Meathooks both had plenty of motivation to get the win. The Elven squad once again brought the illustrious Prince Moranian on board to even the odds against the more veteran orcish squad.
With the sun shining and a cool breeze in the air, the two teams took to the field. The Wardoves won the coin toss and elected to kick first, though it proved costly in the early going as the ball sailed out of bounds and possession was given to the Meathooks' one-orc wrecking crew, Beef Bigaxe. The elves saw no danger, only opportunity, though, as Bigaxe was swiftly gang-piled by the elves. Emerging from the fray was receiver Sutlan Spearflower, who hurled a pass downfield to Fhorin Bloodmeadow, but the blitzer was unable to reel the ball in due to coverage. Again there was a brief scramble for the ball, but this time it was Meathooks lineman Ramrod Meatmissile emerging with possession. He found fellow lineman Hamfist Goreguts with a quick pass, but history seemed in the habit of repeating itself this day, as Goreguts was brought down as well after making a small running gain.
After this latest failed drive, it was blitzer Albiir Featherdeath making the recovery for the Wardoves, and, determined to put as much distance between the ball and his own end zone, threw a deep, deep pass to Fhorin Bloodmeadow. This time, Bloodmeadow made the catch, only to catch his foot on a stone and topple face-first into the pitch while dodging out of coverage. Young orc blitzer Moose Burger echoed the tactics of the elves, chucking the football as far as possible downfield, and he was surprisingly rewarded when Biggs McStabstab, nominally the only orc with any business throwing a pass, caught the long bomb and scored the unlikely touchdown. The opening point got the orc fans on their feet and screaming, though McStabstab celebrated only by handing the ball off to his teary-eyed mother Gertrude, who had sideline seats to watch her boy play.
Now came the Wardoves' turn on offense. What might have been a great kick was once again blown out of bounds by a strong gust of wind, and Bendark Mossfang started the drive with possession and good field position. The Meathooks weren't about to concede any field position but "face down and unconscious" however, and Chip Bonesaw brought two-hundred-and-eighty pounds of solid work ethic down on the head of Venspar Pondrazor, putting the elf out for the remainder of the match. His sacrifice was not in vain, though, and the distraction of carnage allowed the elves a scoring chance. Mossfang sailed a perfect pass to Tsih Killwillow in the open field, and the light-footed catcher strode untouched into the end zone for a series of electrifying poses, much to the thrill of every elven maiden in the stadium.
With the score tied at one apiece, the next kickoff couldn't proceed right away until a replacement ref had been found. It seemed that Gertrude McStabstab had become upset about what she felt was a missed call, and had to be ejected from the game after beating the halfling official to within an inch of his life. Mrs. McStabstab was escorted out of the arena, and it is rumoured that she's been offered contracts from several teams as a blitzer. When the matter was finally settled, the Meathooks lined up their now-famous special delivery play, and despite intelligent coverage from the Wardoves, the goblin toss was perfectly executed, and Hammish landed within a quick jog to the end zone. Just like that, the orcs had re-established their lead.
The half finished with no more points, but a superb catch by Prince Moranian. Despite double coverage and who knows what kind of smell, the flashy Moranian hauled in a stellar catch, though there wasn't enough time on the clock to complete another play before the half.
When the teams returned to the pitch after a brief intermission, the fans were even more uproarious than before. Concealed by the din and commotion, no one took notice when a man in a beer-hat filled with Mana Up soft drink stood up and hurled a scorching fireball down onto the field. As it plummeted towards the orc line, Rip Steakface unknowingly let rip a terrifying belch, and somehow the cacophonous passing of gas coupled with the myriad chemicals present in the orc's gastrointestinal tract diffused the baleful ball of flame entirely. The entire crowd roared and cheered, but the oblivious Steakface simply licked his lips and took his place on the line of scrimmage.
What happened next was a textbook example of selflessness in the interest of team success. Let it never be said that Tsih Killwillow isn't completely devoted to the Blueriver Wardoves' group success. Facing a world of hurt should the tactic fail, Killwillow threw a key block to give fellow catcher Sutlan Spearflower a clear break for the end zone. Once Bendark Mossfang found him in the open, Spearflower was home free and the score was tied once more.
The orcs knew time was running short and that with careful managing of the clock, they could score the winning point without leaving enough time for the Wardoves to equalize. A quick snap on the kickoff started the orc drive off well, and with a handoff to Hammish it looked like another goblin toss was in the works. Unfortunately, mentioning the term "the works" may have broken the concentration of Gristly Slötturhaus, and the lumbering troll made his best effort to devour the little fellow. The wily Hammish was no stranger to massive appetites, and quickly scrambled loose from the troll's grip, only to be dropped unceremoniously behind him.
The elves, seeing the opportunity, charged forth to take the game into their own hands. Albiir Featherdeath made his move and bore down on the ball with a fury of determination almost palpable. Meanwhile, the orcish line seemed oblivious to the error on the throw, and the hulking T-Boner went about his usual business of crushing skulls for fun and profit. Today his brute force came to bear on Tanthil Twigbreaker, who suffered serious injuries in the ordeal but was restored by a quick trip to the team doctor. The orc squad slowly began to come around to what was going on, and Moose Burger attempted to salvage the play with a pass to fellow blitzer Beef Bigaxe, but the throw was off. Elf lineman Bendrym Cloudrender seized the free ball and sent it spiraling towards Tsih Killwillow in the open. Still, the orc line paid no heed, as evidenced by lineman Lockjaw who was more concerned with putting Pynian Grassripper on a stretcher. Though faulted for his ignorance of the actual play, Lockjaw gains credit for unquestionably dishing it out to the elf lineman, who was carted away to the medics for repairs. Dodging nimbly away from the onrushing orcs as they realized what was going on, Tsih Killwillow ran his second point of the match into the end zone, where the Wardoves' cheerleaders had laid a pile of downy pillows for their golden boy. rose petals flew everywhere, the crowd was awash in sighs, and Tsih Killwillow lounged in the adulation until the next kickoff was ready.
Now on the other side of the clock management game, the Meathooks needed to score, and score fast. The drive began with Pickles making the long pass to Hammish, who despite having almost been eaten on the last drive seemed determined to get it right. The frustration of losing the lead had gotten to several of the orc players though, and it showed early in the drive as Chip Bonesaw blatantly fouled Mlalyn Firefawn of the Wardoves. Firefawn was knocked unconscious, but Bonesaw was tossed from the match, keeping the playing field even. Next came the big play for the Meathooks. Slötturhaus made no move to consume his tiny comrade this time, and all was going well until it was time for Hammish to land. Whether the ground was uneven or the throw was shaky, the end result was a goblin stuck halfway into the turf. The ball squirted free and Fhorin Bloodmeadow pounced on it. Launching a desperation pass to perhaps pad the elves' lead, the ball was somehow snagged in midair by the usually-oblivious T-Boner. Whether he saw the pass coming or not, the ball was in his grasp. He didn't seem to notice, and continued to shove at Prince Moranian until the latter was pushed into the stands. Realization suddenly dawned upon the black orc, however, and he moved to get the ball to someone who could do something with it. Unfortunately the handoff failed. With time winding down, the orcs could only watch as the ball came to rest and the whistle blew. The final score, a 3-2 victory for the Blueriver Wardoves.
The match honours went to Albiir Featherdeath of the Wardoves and to Gort Crudhammer of the Meathooks. A nod goes out to the sneaky play of Lockjaw, who becomes the latest orc to adopt the ball-stripping tactics which his teammates exemplify. Additionally, it looks as though the orc T-Boner is the only player this season to record an interception, marking the second consecutive season in which the award will go to a highly unlikely recipient.
And that, sports fiends, is the MMBBL's Chaos Cup Spring season! You know what's coming next, don't you? That's right, the high heat of Summer brings with it the high adrenaline and scorching excitement of the Blood Bowl! With more teams entering the mix, it's sure to be the most electrifying MMBBL season to date! Check back soon for updates on the new squads and more! See you then!
With the sun shining and a cool breeze in the air, the two teams took to the field. The Wardoves won the coin toss and elected to kick first, though it proved costly in the early going as the ball sailed out of bounds and possession was given to the Meathooks' one-orc wrecking crew, Beef Bigaxe. The elves saw no danger, only opportunity, though, as Bigaxe was swiftly gang-piled by the elves. Emerging from the fray was receiver Sutlan Spearflower, who hurled a pass downfield to Fhorin Bloodmeadow, but the blitzer was unable to reel the ball in due to coverage. Again there was a brief scramble for the ball, but this time it was Meathooks lineman Ramrod Meatmissile emerging with possession. He found fellow lineman Hamfist Goreguts with a quick pass, but history seemed in the habit of repeating itself this day, as Goreguts was brought down as well after making a small running gain.
After this latest failed drive, it was blitzer Albiir Featherdeath making the recovery for the Wardoves, and, determined to put as much distance between the ball and his own end zone, threw a deep, deep pass to Fhorin Bloodmeadow. This time, Bloodmeadow made the catch, only to catch his foot on a stone and topple face-first into the pitch while dodging out of coverage. Young orc blitzer Moose Burger echoed the tactics of the elves, chucking the football as far as possible downfield, and he was surprisingly rewarded when Biggs McStabstab, nominally the only orc with any business throwing a pass, caught the long bomb and scored the unlikely touchdown. The opening point got the orc fans on their feet and screaming, though McStabstab celebrated only by handing the ball off to his teary-eyed mother Gertrude, who had sideline seats to watch her boy play.
Now came the Wardoves' turn on offense. What might have been a great kick was once again blown out of bounds by a strong gust of wind, and Bendark Mossfang started the drive with possession and good field position. The Meathooks weren't about to concede any field position but "face down and unconscious" however, and Chip Bonesaw brought two-hundred-and-eighty pounds of solid work ethic down on the head of Venspar Pondrazor, putting the elf out for the remainder of the match. His sacrifice was not in vain, though, and the distraction of carnage allowed the elves a scoring chance. Mossfang sailed a perfect pass to Tsih Killwillow in the open field, and the light-footed catcher strode untouched into the end zone for a series of electrifying poses, much to the thrill of every elven maiden in the stadium.
With the score tied at one apiece, the next kickoff couldn't proceed right away until a replacement ref had been found. It seemed that Gertrude McStabstab had become upset about what she felt was a missed call, and had to be ejected from the game after beating the halfling official to within an inch of his life. Mrs. McStabstab was escorted out of the arena, and it is rumoured that she's been offered contracts from several teams as a blitzer. When the matter was finally settled, the Meathooks lined up their now-famous special delivery play, and despite intelligent coverage from the Wardoves, the goblin toss was perfectly executed, and Hammish landed within a quick jog to the end zone. Just like that, the orcs had re-established their lead.
The half finished with no more points, but a superb catch by Prince Moranian. Despite double coverage and who knows what kind of smell, the flashy Moranian hauled in a stellar catch, though there wasn't enough time on the clock to complete another play before the half.
When the teams returned to the pitch after a brief intermission, the fans were even more uproarious than before. Concealed by the din and commotion, no one took notice when a man in a beer-hat filled with Mana Up soft drink stood up and hurled a scorching fireball down onto the field. As it plummeted towards the orc line, Rip Steakface unknowingly let rip a terrifying belch, and somehow the cacophonous passing of gas coupled with the myriad chemicals present in the orc's gastrointestinal tract diffused the baleful ball of flame entirely. The entire crowd roared and cheered, but the oblivious Steakface simply licked his lips and took his place on the line of scrimmage.
What happened next was a textbook example of selflessness in the interest of team success. Let it never be said that Tsih Killwillow isn't completely devoted to the Blueriver Wardoves' group success. Facing a world of hurt should the tactic fail, Killwillow threw a key block to give fellow catcher Sutlan Spearflower a clear break for the end zone. Once Bendark Mossfang found him in the open, Spearflower was home free and the score was tied once more.
The orcs knew time was running short and that with careful managing of the clock, they could score the winning point without leaving enough time for the Wardoves to equalize. A quick snap on the kickoff started the orc drive off well, and with a handoff to Hammish it looked like another goblin toss was in the works. Unfortunately, mentioning the term "the works" may have broken the concentration of Gristly Slötturhaus, and the lumbering troll made his best effort to devour the little fellow. The wily Hammish was no stranger to massive appetites, and quickly scrambled loose from the troll's grip, only to be dropped unceremoniously behind him.
The elves, seeing the opportunity, charged forth to take the game into their own hands. Albiir Featherdeath made his move and bore down on the ball with a fury of determination almost palpable. Meanwhile, the orcish line seemed oblivious to the error on the throw, and the hulking T-Boner went about his usual business of crushing skulls for fun and profit. Today his brute force came to bear on Tanthil Twigbreaker, who suffered serious injuries in the ordeal but was restored by a quick trip to the team doctor. The orc squad slowly began to come around to what was going on, and Moose Burger attempted to salvage the play with a pass to fellow blitzer Beef Bigaxe, but the throw was off. Elf lineman Bendrym Cloudrender seized the free ball and sent it spiraling towards Tsih Killwillow in the open. Still, the orc line paid no heed, as evidenced by lineman Lockjaw who was more concerned with putting Pynian Grassripper on a stretcher. Though faulted for his ignorance of the actual play, Lockjaw gains credit for unquestionably dishing it out to the elf lineman, who was carted away to the medics for repairs. Dodging nimbly away from the onrushing orcs as they realized what was going on, Tsih Killwillow ran his second point of the match into the end zone, where the Wardoves' cheerleaders had laid a pile of downy pillows for their golden boy. rose petals flew everywhere, the crowd was awash in sighs, and Tsih Killwillow lounged in the adulation until the next kickoff was ready.
Now on the other side of the clock management game, the Meathooks needed to score, and score fast. The drive began with Pickles making the long pass to Hammish, who despite having almost been eaten on the last drive seemed determined to get it right. The frustration of losing the lead had gotten to several of the orc players though, and it showed early in the drive as Chip Bonesaw blatantly fouled Mlalyn Firefawn of the Wardoves. Firefawn was knocked unconscious, but Bonesaw was tossed from the match, keeping the playing field even. Next came the big play for the Meathooks. Slötturhaus made no move to consume his tiny comrade this time, and all was going well until it was time for Hammish to land. Whether the ground was uneven or the throw was shaky, the end result was a goblin stuck halfway into the turf. The ball squirted free and Fhorin Bloodmeadow pounced on it. Launching a desperation pass to perhaps pad the elves' lead, the ball was somehow snagged in midair by the usually-oblivious T-Boner. Whether he saw the pass coming or not, the ball was in his grasp. He didn't seem to notice, and continued to shove at Prince Moranian until the latter was pushed into the stands. Realization suddenly dawned upon the black orc, however, and he moved to get the ball to someone who could do something with it. Unfortunately the handoff failed. With time winding down, the orcs could only watch as the ball came to rest and the whistle blew. The final score, a 3-2 victory for the Blueriver Wardoves.
The match honours went to Albiir Featherdeath of the Wardoves and to Gort Crudhammer of the Meathooks. A nod goes out to the sneaky play of Lockjaw, who becomes the latest orc to adopt the ball-stripping tactics which his teammates exemplify. Additionally, it looks as though the orc T-Boner is the only player this season to record an interception, marking the second consecutive season in which the award will go to a highly unlikely recipient.
And that, sports fiends, is the MMBBL's Chaos Cup Spring season! You know what's coming next, don't you? That's right, the high heat of Summer brings with it the high adrenaline and scorching excitement of the Blood Bowl! With more teams entering the mix, it's sure to be the most electrifying MMBBL season to date! Check back soon for updates on the new squads and more! See you then!
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Undead Earn Perfect Season Despite Knights' Strong Showing
The final formality with regards to the Chaos Cup season has come and gone, and the Dusk Hill Dirt Bursters once again reign as the MMBBL's champions. It wasn't an easy finish by any means, and their final opponents, the Fly-by Knights, made them earn every inch on the march to victory.
Still displeased by the vein of mediocrity plaguing this talented team, the Dirt Bursters released zombies Stabbo and Shamus Smith, formerly of the Meathooks and Gildengrip's Gold Miners, respectively. Then, in a move to replace the fallen Blacky Gobbler, eager rookie ghoul Dug Nobs was hired to bring another element of speed to the roster. The day couldn't have been more perfect, the matchup couldn't have been more storied. Two of the league's founding teams, one having tasted victory, the other having only wafted its honeyed aroma.
The first possession went to the Dirt Bursters, and before anyone could handle the ball, one zealous fan decided to "handle" one of the Knights' linemen. We aren't sure where he got the brick, but none were as surprised as Max Limit, who crumpled like a cardboard parapet when the projectile struck him in the helmet. He was dragged off hurriedly before the ball landed, to sleep off the mild head trauma.
The ball came down near the illustrious Ol' Teabagger, whose exploits and talent are now so far-reaching that if you don't know who we're talking about, you should probably go back to the archives for an education in glory. Making his way into the safety of the zombie-mummy pocket, the O.T.B. was caught off guard by Knights' running back Jacques Strappe, who knocked the ball loose into the fray. The Knights weren't going to make this easy, but the undead line rose to the occasion, as Lez White opened the hostilities by throttling lineman Solomon Squatz. Squatz appeared to have broken his neck, which would mean almost certain demotion to the minors, but the docs worked out the problem quickly, and the injury was revealed as merely a pinched nerve, still serious but not life-threatening.
The Towering mummy Khermit put his own stamp on the game immediately afterwards, putting cocky Knights blitzer Chet Jackweed out for the match with a mighty shove. The gap left by the two fallen linemen was all the Dirt Bursters needed, and Ned Gummers charged out of the melee, sprinting in for the first touchdown of the game. Could the Fly-by Knights respond?
They set about doing just that, and the ever-effective Lance Freely, heavily favoured to win the Silver Elbow this year, completed his first pass of the game to catcher Stanley Steele. Steele was brought down, however, and when wight No Guts Bob forced a gap in the human line by laying out Wamsley Wedgeworth, Ol' Teabagger finished what he started on his first run and scored to make it two to nothing for the Dirt Bursters. The entire crowd was moaning, both from the anguish of the human fans and the assumed joy of the undead supporters. With little time to play in the first half, Jacques Strappe completed a pass to Brad Attitûd, though the catcher didn't have enough time to run the ball in before the whistle blew.
Battered and bruised after just one half, down two linemen and a blitzer, the Knights needed to rally around something - anything - to make a game of it. To their dismay, the undead read their play perfectly on the second half kickoff, and the Knights' already lopsided line of scrimmage was further compromised by a blitz from the Dirt Bursters. Even as the undead pressed the advantage on one side, however, the Knights made their hay by running a reversal. Jacques Strappe unloaded the long pass to Stanley Steele, who showed remarkable selflessness in handing off to Brad Attitûd, who in turn was off like a shot down the sideline. Aware of the chance to score, the human line threw itself boldly in the way of any potential playbreakers, and hard-working Abraham Sandwich made the greatest of the ensuing impacts, breaking the neck of newcomer Dug Nobs. Welcome to the league, Dug! Though with an injury like that it may not be a very long stay. Still, the Dirt Bursters managed to break coverage, and Ned Gummers knocked Attitûd on his backside. The Knights responded with even more high-risk strategy, as Attitûd got up and sprinted for the end zone while Steele, who had been following the play, grabbed the loose ball and shovel-passed it to his fellow catcher. One step closer to tying the match, the Knights still had a lot of work to do.
What happened next just goes to show you that no matter how tough, how talented, and how effectively detached from the mortal coil a player may supposedly be, by no means is he immortal, and certainly not without his moments of weakness. A standard running play by the Dirt Bursters on the following kickoff was going just as planned, and it looked like they could seal the victory with ease. Ol' Teabagger moved like lightning through the Knights defense, until faced with the mountain of mayhem known as Barglesnart Livingstone. The ogre was, by all accounts, oblivious to his surroundings and didn't even see the ghoul coming. Looking to cut corners in his charge, Teabagger made a flying leap to pass directly over the ogre...and apparently miscalculated. The wily ghoul crashed pelvis-first into Livingstone's helmet, and what on a smaller defender would result in moderate humiliation instead resulted in a catastrophic change to the ghoul's flight plans. Barreling end over end, Ol' Teabagger crashed to the ground in a heap and was carted away with serious but non-permanent injuries.
The Knights seized the opportunity immediately, and Lance Freely was on the spot as he found the foolhardy Flash Madison with a beauty of a pass. Chompsalot the ghoul would have nothing of it, and ran the catcher into the dirt, though he was unhurt in the collision. The same would not hold true for Chompsalot himself, who was subsequently trod under by Jacques Strappe, and removed from the pitch to sort out his insides in peace. In came Cyrano de Baggagerack on a charge through the remaining Dirt Bursters defense, retrieving the ball while on the move, and lunging into the end zone to tie the match. The crowd was in an uproar now, with the Knights rejuvenated by success and the Dirt Bursters depleted by the loss of three of their four ghouls.
With their most skilled players in a heap in the infirmary, the Dirt Bursters looked to unlikely sources for success. Ned Gummers may have been the ghoul for the job to get that final touchdown, but he couldn't simply dissolve the Knights' line. Enter Tinny, former vampire Thrall of the Day's End and one of the few low prospects to escape the recent firings from Dirt Bursters management. Tinny not only stopped what might have been another Knights "smash and grab" tactic, but also laid out Cyrano de Baggagerack with an uncharacteristic show of might. This was enough for the Dirt Bursters, with both teams seriously depleted. Ned Gummers broke through coverage, and with enough skill to avoid the onslaught of defenders, crossed the line to count the third undead touchdown.
With little time remaining, the Knights could only hope to lose once more with dignity. Lance Freely found Brad Attitûd with one final pass, but the catcher hadn't the speed to make it to the end zone in time. The Knights may have wished that the game could end then and there, because in the dying seconds, Khermit struck again, flattening Jacques Strappe with a bone-jarring hit. Strappe would survive, but lingering tenderness means that he may not be as sturdy as he once was. The final score was 3-2 for the Dirt Bursters. The perfect season was a reality, even thought the toll on the team's talent proved high. The Knights, beleaguered and heavily injured themselves, departed the stadium almost immediately to return to their castles and await the next campaign.
MVPs of the match were Brad Attitûd of the Fly-by Knights and Tinny of the Dusk Hill Dirt Bursters, whose key last-minute block may have won the game for the undead. Also noteworthy was the play of Jacques Strappe, who despite his last-minute injury threw many successful blocks of his own, and Cyrano de Baggagerack, whose strong presence of mind on the line kept many of his teammates safe, though he himself was also injured.
After the match, the Dirt Bursters took to the field, the wounded and healthy alike, to be awarded the Chaos Cup. Each took his turn to drink from its shining bowl, hopeful that the cup would choose him as worthy of its gifts. The first to be rewarded was Magut, the monstrous mummy, who sprouted claws and moaned in undead jubilation. Immediately afterwards, his teammate and fellow wrecking machine Khermit was similarly chosen, and identically rewarded. It seems that Chaos had chosen its champions. Finally, when everyone else had tasted from the Cup, Lez White took his sip, and what happened can only be described accurately as "eeeeyyyyuuuurrrrrrgh". Erupting pustules, twitching ganglia, bursting sores and dental cataclysm exploded from White's face, turning the cheers and praise of the fans observing on the Wizardtron screen into a chorus of heaving and vomit. The gift mirrored the game. Powerful, ugly, and only barely contained by conventional armour.
The Dusk Hill Dirt Bursters, returning and still champions of the MMBBL! Next season is the Blood Bowl, and we'll be watching as the undead vie for an unprecedented full year of dominance. Still to come - the final game on the list for the Spring season, with the Blueriver Wardoves looking to upset the Meathooks in a battle for glory and possibly recognition as the team to come closest to the Dirt Bursters. See you then!
Still displeased by the vein of mediocrity plaguing this talented team, the Dirt Bursters released zombies Stabbo and Shamus Smith, formerly of the Meathooks and Gildengrip's Gold Miners, respectively. Then, in a move to replace the fallen Blacky Gobbler, eager rookie ghoul Dug Nobs was hired to bring another element of speed to the roster. The day couldn't have been more perfect, the matchup couldn't have been more storied. Two of the league's founding teams, one having tasted victory, the other having only wafted its honeyed aroma.
The first possession went to the Dirt Bursters, and before anyone could handle the ball, one zealous fan decided to "handle" one of the Knights' linemen. We aren't sure where he got the brick, but none were as surprised as Max Limit, who crumpled like a cardboard parapet when the projectile struck him in the helmet. He was dragged off hurriedly before the ball landed, to sleep off the mild head trauma.
The ball came down near the illustrious Ol' Teabagger, whose exploits and talent are now so far-reaching that if you don't know who we're talking about, you should probably go back to the archives for an education in glory. Making his way into the safety of the zombie-mummy pocket, the O.T.B. was caught off guard by Knights' running back Jacques Strappe, who knocked the ball loose into the fray. The Knights weren't going to make this easy, but the undead line rose to the occasion, as Lez White opened the hostilities by throttling lineman Solomon Squatz. Squatz appeared to have broken his neck, which would mean almost certain demotion to the minors, but the docs worked out the problem quickly, and the injury was revealed as merely a pinched nerve, still serious but not life-threatening.
The Towering mummy Khermit put his own stamp on the game immediately afterwards, putting cocky Knights blitzer Chet Jackweed out for the match with a mighty shove. The gap left by the two fallen linemen was all the Dirt Bursters needed, and Ned Gummers charged out of the melee, sprinting in for the first touchdown of the game. Could the Fly-by Knights respond?
They set about doing just that, and the ever-effective Lance Freely, heavily favoured to win the Silver Elbow this year, completed his first pass of the game to catcher Stanley Steele. Steele was brought down, however, and when wight No Guts Bob forced a gap in the human line by laying out Wamsley Wedgeworth, Ol' Teabagger finished what he started on his first run and scored to make it two to nothing for the Dirt Bursters. The entire crowd was moaning, both from the anguish of the human fans and the assumed joy of the undead supporters. With little time to play in the first half, Jacques Strappe completed a pass to Brad Attitûd, though the catcher didn't have enough time to run the ball in before the whistle blew.
Battered and bruised after just one half, down two linemen and a blitzer, the Knights needed to rally around something - anything - to make a game of it. To their dismay, the undead read their play perfectly on the second half kickoff, and the Knights' already lopsided line of scrimmage was further compromised by a blitz from the Dirt Bursters. Even as the undead pressed the advantage on one side, however, the Knights made their hay by running a reversal. Jacques Strappe unloaded the long pass to Stanley Steele, who showed remarkable selflessness in handing off to Brad Attitûd, who in turn was off like a shot down the sideline. Aware of the chance to score, the human line threw itself boldly in the way of any potential playbreakers, and hard-working Abraham Sandwich made the greatest of the ensuing impacts, breaking the neck of newcomer Dug Nobs. Welcome to the league, Dug! Though with an injury like that it may not be a very long stay. Still, the Dirt Bursters managed to break coverage, and Ned Gummers knocked Attitûd on his backside. The Knights responded with even more high-risk strategy, as Attitûd got up and sprinted for the end zone while Steele, who had been following the play, grabbed the loose ball and shovel-passed it to his fellow catcher. One step closer to tying the match, the Knights still had a lot of work to do.
What happened next just goes to show you that no matter how tough, how talented, and how effectively detached from the mortal coil a player may supposedly be, by no means is he immortal, and certainly not without his moments of weakness. A standard running play by the Dirt Bursters on the following kickoff was going just as planned, and it looked like they could seal the victory with ease. Ol' Teabagger moved like lightning through the Knights defense, until faced with the mountain of mayhem known as Barglesnart Livingstone. The ogre was, by all accounts, oblivious to his surroundings and didn't even see the ghoul coming. Looking to cut corners in his charge, Teabagger made a flying leap to pass directly over the ogre...and apparently miscalculated. The wily ghoul crashed pelvis-first into Livingstone's helmet, and what on a smaller defender would result in moderate humiliation instead resulted in a catastrophic change to the ghoul's flight plans. Barreling end over end, Ol' Teabagger crashed to the ground in a heap and was carted away with serious but non-permanent injuries.
The Knights seized the opportunity immediately, and Lance Freely was on the spot as he found the foolhardy Flash Madison with a beauty of a pass. Chompsalot the ghoul would have nothing of it, and ran the catcher into the dirt, though he was unhurt in the collision. The same would not hold true for Chompsalot himself, who was subsequently trod under by Jacques Strappe, and removed from the pitch to sort out his insides in peace. In came Cyrano de Baggagerack on a charge through the remaining Dirt Bursters defense, retrieving the ball while on the move, and lunging into the end zone to tie the match. The crowd was in an uproar now, with the Knights rejuvenated by success and the Dirt Bursters depleted by the loss of three of their four ghouls.
With their most skilled players in a heap in the infirmary, the Dirt Bursters looked to unlikely sources for success. Ned Gummers may have been the ghoul for the job to get that final touchdown, but he couldn't simply dissolve the Knights' line. Enter Tinny, former vampire Thrall of the Day's End and one of the few low prospects to escape the recent firings from Dirt Bursters management. Tinny not only stopped what might have been another Knights "smash and grab" tactic, but also laid out Cyrano de Baggagerack with an uncharacteristic show of might. This was enough for the Dirt Bursters, with both teams seriously depleted. Ned Gummers broke through coverage, and with enough skill to avoid the onslaught of defenders, crossed the line to count the third undead touchdown.
With little time remaining, the Knights could only hope to lose once more with dignity. Lance Freely found Brad Attitûd with one final pass, but the catcher hadn't the speed to make it to the end zone in time. The Knights may have wished that the game could end then and there, because in the dying seconds, Khermit struck again, flattening Jacques Strappe with a bone-jarring hit. Strappe would survive, but lingering tenderness means that he may not be as sturdy as he once was. The final score was 3-2 for the Dirt Bursters. The perfect season was a reality, even thought the toll on the team's talent proved high. The Knights, beleaguered and heavily injured themselves, departed the stadium almost immediately to return to their castles and await the next campaign.
MVPs of the match were Brad Attitûd of the Fly-by Knights and Tinny of the Dusk Hill Dirt Bursters, whose key last-minute block may have won the game for the undead. Also noteworthy was the play of Jacques Strappe, who despite his last-minute injury threw many successful blocks of his own, and Cyrano de Baggagerack, whose strong presence of mind on the line kept many of his teammates safe, though he himself was also injured.
After the match, the Dirt Bursters took to the field, the wounded and healthy alike, to be awarded the Chaos Cup. Each took his turn to drink from its shining bowl, hopeful that the cup would choose him as worthy of its gifts. The first to be rewarded was Magut, the monstrous mummy, who sprouted claws and moaned in undead jubilation. Immediately afterwards, his teammate and fellow wrecking machine Khermit was similarly chosen, and identically rewarded. It seems that Chaos had chosen its champions. Finally, when everyone else had tasted from the Cup, Lez White took his sip, and what happened can only be described accurately as "eeeeyyyyuuuurrrrrrgh". Erupting pustules, twitching ganglia, bursting sores and dental cataclysm exploded from White's face, turning the cheers and praise of the fans observing on the Wizardtron screen into a chorus of heaving and vomit. The gift mirrored the game. Powerful, ugly, and only barely contained by conventional armour.
The Dusk Hill Dirt Bursters, returning and still champions of the MMBBL! Next season is the Blood Bowl, and we'll be watching as the undead vie for an unprecedented full year of dominance. Still to come - the final game on the list for the Spring season, with the Blueriver Wardoves looking to upset the Meathooks in a battle for glory and possibly recognition as the team to come closest to the Dirt Bursters. See you then!
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Knights' Receivers Excel, Go'Nads Spoil Wardoves' Victory
Sit down and listen up, sportsfiends, it's time for the latest MMBBL action update! This week saw two exciting matches, in which the teams involved played for more than victory in the Chaos Cup (which has effectively been won by the Dusk Hill Dirt Bursters as of last week). Honour, Pride, and of course, lives were on the line for these two thrilling games.
In the week's first match, the underachieving (by their own standards, at least) Fly-by Knights took to the field against the fierce and committed Brutakai Ragefangs. The Ragefangs, while off to a slow start in the points and wins categories, have shown impressive resolve and a deep commitment to the gritty, unapologetic nature of Blood Bowl. For their part, the Knights have rallied around their own flags even as the series slips out of reach - both the tireless legs and enthusiasm of youth and the stalwart resolve and patience of age have served them well in recent matches. With chins and spirits high, these two collective juggernauts of willpower collide - which will come away with the W?
Receiving first, the Ragefangs executed their game plan with both a show of force typical of the orc's hefty, lumbering physique, and a show of athletic grace which flies in the face of it. Krak Toothsnapper called the play perfectly, sailed a pass to Raziek Bloodrage as though the ball were on a wire, and the talented blitzer charged downfield to put the first point on the board. A great help on the line came from the popular Ripper Bolgrot, who was brought in to tilt the scales against Barglesnart Livingstone of the Knights. Things were looking up for the Brutakai Boys, but some elements of this great game are out of the players' hands, including the often under-appreciated presence of the "twelfth man" - the fans themselves.
Despite the relative ferocity of their few but fanatical supporters, the Ragefangs were at a disadvantage to the Knights' increasing fanbase, and the consequences were immediate and dire. On the next kickoff, the stands absolutely erupted with activity, and the droves of green-and-blue-clad Knights fans rushed the pitch, laying out the majority of the Ragefangs team. The Ragefangs fans attempted to respond, but the Knights' admirers effectively shielded their heroes from harm. As the dust cleared, there was no real chance for the orcs to stop the humans' quick march downfield. Lance Freely spotted the completely wide-open Stanley Steele, and the latter caught the easy pass and practically walked into the end zone. He then celebrated by paying one lucky fan a hundred gold pieces for a bite of his hot dog. Talk about a collector's item!
The rapid scoring and breakneck pace slowed before the first half ended, as the two teams sought success with the running game, but none was to be had. As a part of their "everyone participates, everyone contributes" policy, the Knights gave lineman Solomon Squatz a chance to execute a passing play while ace thrower Freely sat, and the lineman delivered a short pass to Cyrano de Baggagerack to close out the period.
Determined to find a way to deal with the orc squad's physical superiority, the Knights looked again to their youth for answers. Hot on the heels of the kickoff in the second half, blitzer Chet Jackweed trampled line orc Ruushaenk Nightwrath soundly, and Nightwrath left the game under his own power. Taking advantage of the slight offset in manpower, Lance Freely found receiver Brad Attitûd with a bullet from midfield, and the lanky lad left defenders in the dust on his way to the Fly-by Knights' second score of the game.
With time running short, the Ragefangs needed everyone on the same page to complete another play and tie the match. They might have succeeded too, were it not for the ever-dangerous Jacques Strappe, whose reputation as the strongest thrower in the league is all but concrete. The resolute Strappe not only saved a touchdown with an emphatic blitz, but then picked up the fallen cargo and sent it, air mail, special delivery, to blitzer Victor Dashing. Dashing made like his name implied, and sprinted for the touchdown, sealing the deal for the Knights, the final score three to one.
Match MVP accolades went to Chet Jackweed of the Knights, with the only casualty of the game, whose training as an "armoured catcher" appears to be paying off. Kozu Ironhide, black orc of the Ragefangs, took the honour for his squad by virtue of his solid performance on the front line. Also highly of note were Brad Attitûd and Lance Freely of the Knights, who seem to have adapted to catcher Stanley Steele's training regime and demonstrated impressive agility all game. Raziek Bloodrage of the Ragefangs gets a nod as well for demonstrating excellent presence of mind with regards to his teammates, assisting on the line despite multiple threats to his person.
Our second scheduled game was a clash of extreme opposites. The graceful, groomed and gorgeous lads of the the Blueriver Wardoves brought their brand of quick, precise elven game to bear against the robust, rude and rowdy Smash and Go'nads, for whom success is measured only in destruction and blood alcohol level. Divergent philosophies coupled with a lust for the prize of victory and a cruelly brilliant sun can mean only one thing, sportsfiends - entertainment!
Things started out with a typical dwarf play, and the crafty fellows handed off to runner Adam Meway, who sheltered himself behind a crushing protective force of longbeards. Just as the line seemed it may buckle, Meway burst forth like the fizz from a newly-shaken can of Bloodweiser and dashed into the end zone. The dwarves had made their statement; could the elves respond?
Respond they did, in more ways than one. Vengeance was the first item on the Wardoves' menu, and Mlalyn Firefawn was the line cook of punishment as he violently fouled the down-and-out Gil T. Azell. The refs caught it, though, (for the record, the first time they've had the stones to do so all season), and Firefawn was sent off to the resounding boos of the already-wasted dwarven crowds. Azell was in horrible shape, but the dwarves' doc made no mistake and saw the bruising slayer back to the dugout for the next drive. Meanwhile, the elves were free to change the game to their own liking in the absence of the Go'nads' superlative troublemaker, and Bendark Mossfang made a smooth pass to the crowd-pleasing Tsih Killwillow, and before you could say "photo op" the game was tied. Killwillow reportedly celebrated by blowing a kiss to each and every one of the Wardoves' cheerleaders, who were subsequently carted to the infirmary for minor bruises sustained while falling to the grass in a stupor, as well as several counts of broken hearts. The half ended with a deadlock, both teams having each scored a touchdown.
Fired up by the momentum gained by their last drive, the Wardoves struck fast as the second half opened. Keeping the dwarves guessing while Mossfang surveyed the field coolly, the elves set up a scenario of multiple potential targets. At last the time came to strike, and the high, spiraling pass from Mossfang found Sutlan Spearflower wide open and the second point for the elves went essentially uncontested. Now all they had to do was keep the slower dwarf squad from making the game theirs again.
The Wardoves were about to find out just how hard it can be to tell a dwarf "no" and to make it stick. The bodies flew and crashed as the Smash and Go'nads paved a way for their plucky runners, but at every turn they were met with nimble elf resistance. The Wardoves danced quickly through what would be impassible coverage to most other teams. When the elves were finally upon him, Adam Meway connected with Dick Gozinia on a desperation pass, and one runner picked up the march downfield where the other left off. The dwarves were starting to win the battle to stay vertical, no doubt in part to their lower centers of gravity. Still, the Wardoves found the energy to surge at Gozinia before his goal was met. knocked off his feet, the ball scattering away, hope seemed lost until line dwarf Achilles Punks somehow managed to rein in the wild ball. Gone were the elves' hopes of an easy end to the match, but with them as well went the dwarves' ability to rely on the speed of their less-bearded specialists. With the resolve of an avalanche and much the same sound, Achilles Punks rumbled forward with the help of his teammates. The dwarves brushed aside the remaining elves as they swarmed, and panting, out of breath, heaving and farting like a true dwarven champion, Punks crossed the goal line to the uproarious support of the dwarven faithful. His celebration proved the least flamboyant of the afternoon, and he was left to nap on the pitch as the crowd dispersed. The final score: a 2-2 tie.
The most honoured players of this match were Stu Padasso of the Smash and Go'nads for his excellent line support in the dwarves' hour of need, and to Venspar Pondrazor of the Wardoves for his timely blocking. Several other accolades were given to elf catcher Sutlan Spearflower who deked and dodged his way to a touchdown, and to dwarves Achilles Punks, who supported his mates even as they paved his unlikely way to glory, and Adam Meway, who mimicked the quick reactions of his cohort Dick Gozinia and got the ball away under pressure on several occasions.
We're saving the biggest thrills for last, folks! Next week, the Dusk Hill Dirt Bursters seek the end to their perfect season, with the Fly-by Knights looking to upset the wagon. As well, the Meathooks take one last stab at glory when they square off against the Blueriver Wardoves in another intense duel of form vs. function. See you then!
In the week's first match, the underachieving (by their own standards, at least) Fly-by Knights took to the field against the fierce and committed Brutakai Ragefangs. The Ragefangs, while off to a slow start in the points and wins categories, have shown impressive resolve and a deep commitment to the gritty, unapologetic nature of Blood Bowl. For their part, the Knights have rallied around their own flags even as the series slips out of reach - both the tireless legs and enthusiasm of youth and the stalwart resolve and patience of age have served them well in recent matches. With chins and spirits high, these two collective juggernauts of willpower collide - which will come away with the W?
Receiving first, the Ragefangs executed their game plan with both a show of force typical of the orc's hefty, lumbering physique, and a show of athletic grace which flies in the face of it. Krak Toothsnapper called the play perfectly, sailed a pass to Raziek Bloodrage as though the ball were on a wire, and the talented blitzer charged downfield to put the first point on the board. A great help on the line came from the popular Ripper Bolgrot, who was brought in to tilt the scales against Barglesnart Livingstone of the Knights. Things were looking up for the Brutakai Boys, but some elements of this great game are out of the players' hands, including the often under-appreciated presence of the "twelfth man" - the fans themselves.
Despite the relative ferocity of their few but fanatical supporters, the Ragefangs were at a disadvantage to the Knights' increasing fanbase, and the consequences were immediate and dire. On the next kickoff, the stands absolutely erupted with activity, and the droves of green-and-blue-clad Knights fans rushed the pitch, laying out the majority of the Ragefangs team. The Ragefangs fans attempted to respond, but the Knights' admirers effectively shielded their heroes from harm. As the dust cleared, there was no real chance for the orcs to stop the humans' quick march downfield. Lance Freely spotted the completely wide-open Stanley Steele, and the latter caught the easy pass and practically walked into the end zone. He then celebrated by paying one lucky fan a hundred gold pieces for a bite of his hot dog. Talk about a collector's item!
The rapid scoring and breakneck pace slowed before the first half ended, as the two teams sought success with the running game, but none was to be had. As a part of their "everyone participates, everyone contributes" policy, the Knights gave lineman Solomon Squatz a chance to execute a passing play while ace thrower Freely sat, and the lineman delivered a short pass to Cyrano de Baggagerack to close out the period.
Determined to find a way to deal with the orc squad's physical superiority, the Knights looked again to their youth for answers. Hot on the heels of the kickoff in the second half, blitzer Chet Jackweed trampled line orc Ruushaenk Nightwrath soundly, and Nightwrath left the game under his own power. Taking advantage of the slight offset in manpower, Lance Freely found receiver Brad Attitûd with a bullet from midfield, and the lanky lad left defenders in the dust on his way to the Fly-by Knights' second score of the game.
With time running short, the Ragefangs needed everyone on the same page to complete another play and tie the match. They might have succeeded too, were it not for the ever-dangerous Jacques Strappe, whose reputation as the strongest thrower in the league is all but concrete. The resolute Strappe not only saved a touchdown with an emphatic blitz, but then picked up the fallen cargo and sent it, air mail, special delivery, to blitzer Victor Dashing. Dashing made like his name implied, and sprinted for the touchdown, sealing the deal for the Knights, the final score three to one.
Match MVP accolades went to Chet Jackweed of the Knights, with the only casualty of the game, whose training as an "armoured catcher" appears to be paying off. Kozu Ironhide, black orc of the Ragefangs, took the honour for his squad by virtue of his solid performance on the front line. Also highly of note were Brad Attitûd and Lance Freely of the Knights, who seem to have adapted to catcher Stanley Steele's training regime and demonstrated impressive agility all game. Raziek Bloodrage of the Ragefangs gets a nod as well for demonstrating excellent presence of mind with regards to his teammates, assisting on the line despite multiple threats to his person.
Our second scheduled game was a clash of extreme opposites. The graceful, groomed and gorgeous lads of the the Blueriver Wardoves brought their brand of quick, precise elven game to bear against the robust, rude and rowdy Smash and Go'nads, for whom success is measured only in destruction and blood alcohol level. Divergent philosophies coupled with a lust for the prize of victory and a cruelly brilliant sun can mean only one thing, sportsfiends - entertainment!
Things started out with a typical dwarf play, and the crafty fellows handed off to runner Adam Meway, who sheltered himself behind a crushing protective force of longbeards. Just as the line seemed it may buckle, Meway burst forth like the fizz from a newly-shaken can of Bloodweiser and dashed into the end zone. The dwarves had made their statement; could the elves respond?
Respond they did, in more ways than one. Vengeance was the first item on the Wardoves' menu, and Mlalyn Firefawn was the line cook of punishment as he violently fouled the down-and-out Gil T. Azell. The refs caught it, though, (for the record, the first time they've had the stones to do so all season), and Firefawn was sent off to the resounding boos of the already-wasted dwarven crowds. Azell was in horrible shape, but the dwarves' doc made no mistake and saw the bruising slayer back to the dugout for the next drive. Meanwhile, the elves were free to change the game to their own liking in the absence of the Go'nads' superlative troublemaker, and Bendark Mossfang made a smooth pass to the crowd-pleasing Tsih Killwillow, and before you could say "photo op" the game was tied. Killwillow reportedly celebrated by blowing a kiss to each and every one of the Wardoves' cheerleaders, who were subsequently carted to the infirmary for minor bruises sustained while falling to the grass in a stupor, as well as several counts of broken hearts. The half ended with a deadlock, both teams having each scored a touchdown.
Fired up by the momentum gained by their last drive, the Wardoves struck fast as the second half opened. Keeping the dwarves guessing while Mossfang surveyed the field coolly, the elves set up a scenario of multiple potential targets. At last the time came to strike, and the high, spiraling pass from Mossfang found Sutlan Spearflower wide open and the second point for the elves went essentially uncontested. Now all they had to do was keep the slower dwarf squad from making the game theirs again.
The Wardoves were about to find out just how hard it can be to tell a dwarf "no" and to make it stick. The bodies flew and crashed as the Smash and Go'nads paved a way for their plucky runners, but at every turn they were met with nimble elf resistance. The Wardoves danced quickly through what would be impassible coverage to most other teams. When the elves were finally upon him, Adam Meway connected with Dick Gozinia on a desperation pass, and one runner picked up the march downfield where the other left off. The dwarves were starting to win the battle to stay vertical, no doubt in part to their lower centers of gravity. Still, the Wardoves found the energy to surge at Gozinia before his goal was met. knocked off his feet, the ball scattering away, hope seemed lost until line dwarf Achilles Punks somehow managed to rein in the wild ball. Gone were the elves' hopes of an easy end to the match, but with them as well went the dwarves' ability to rely on the speed of their less-bearded specialists. With the resolve of an avalanche and much the same sound, Achilles Punks rumbled forward with the help of his teammates. The dwarves brushed aside the remaining elves as they swarmed, and panting, out of breath, heaving and farting like a true dwarven champion, Punks crossed the goal line to the uproarious support of the dwarven faithful. His celebration proved the least flamboyant of the afternoon, and he was left to nap on the pitch as the crowd dispersed. The final score: a 2-2 tie.
The most honoured players of this match were Stu Padasso of the Smash and Go'nads for his excellent line support in the dwarves' hour of need, and to Venspar Pondrazor of the Wardoves for his timely blocking. Several other accolades were given to elf catcher Sutlan Spearflower who deked and dodged his way to a touchdown, and to dwarves Achilles Punks, who supported his mates even as they paved his unlikely way to glory, and Adam Meway, who mimicked the quick reactions of his cohort Dick Gozinia and got the ball away under pressure on several occasions.
We're saving the biggest thrills for last, folks! Next week, the Dusk Hill Dirt Bursters seek the end to their perfect season, with the Fly-by Knights looking to upset the wagon. As well, the Meathooks take one last stab at glory when they square off against the Blueriver Wardoves in another intense duel of form vs. function. See you then!
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Week 5 - The Last Hurrah
Three games to report on from this past week, the final week before playoffs commence in the MMBBL! (Accounts have been abbreviated due to being busy and eventually forgetting some things, sorry.)
The first match saw the Greenskin Bumlookers positively routed by Gildengrip's Goldminers. The final score was 4-0, and right from the get-go it looked like fate was stacked against the Orcs. Pro Blitzer Red Marx was tossed out on the first play for a flagrant foul, and it went downhill from there.
In match number 2, The Fly-By Knights Edged the Meathooks 2-1 in a gritty affair. Unfortunately for the Meathooks, promising lineman Chip Bonesaw suffered a broken neck, while the Knights' new blitzer Chet Jackweed took a spill which will see him benched for their first playoff game.
The third and final regular season match pitted the Low Blows against the league-leading Goldminers, and this one was closer than the 2-0 'miners' victory margin would leave you to believe. Both teams were very good defensively and bottlenecked running routes became the order of the day. After the game, the Goldminers announced that they had signed a Deathroller onto the squad for the playoffs, which will likely give this elite team the extra push (or trample) it needs to be the victors when the dust settles.
More coming soon, including results from the first playoff match!
The first match saw the Greenskin Bumlookers positively routed by Gildengrip's Goldminers. The final score was 4-0, and right from the get-go it looked like fate was stacked against the Orcs. Pro Blitzer Red Marx was tossed out on the first play for a flagrant foul, and it went downhill from there.
In match number 2, The Fly-By Knights Edged the Meathooks 2-1 in a gritty affair. Unfortunately for the Meathooks, promising lineman Chip Bonesaw suffered a broken neck, while the Knights' new blitzer Chet Jackweed took a spill which will see him benched for their first playoff game.
The third and final regular season match pitted the Low Blows against the league-leading Goldminers, and this one was closer than the 2-0 'miners' victory margin would leave you to believe. Both teams were very good defensively and bottlenecked running routes became the order of the day. After the game, the Goldminers announced that they had signed a Deathroller onto the squad for the playoffs, which will likely give this elite team the extra push (or trample) it needs to be the victors when the dust settles.
More coming soon, including results from the first playoff match!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
