Deadites Dethrone Spike! Tournament Champs

The MMBBL Dungeonbowl playoffs have begun, and the excitement is building right from the get-go, as the upstart Drudgetown Deadites hosted the underachieving champions, the Razor Hill Spinebreakers, at the Pit in Drudgetown this past weekend. It was a gorgeous day for a game, and the Spinebreakers would start on offense, as the Deadites won the toss and opted to defer.

As the ball took to the sky, an immense cheer went up for the Deadites, whose fans were living a veritable dream of an inaugural season. The ball came down not far from orc hero Kiro Stormaxe, who had been having a comparatively quiet season thus far. Stormaxe moved up behind troll blocker Zor Loneblow and handed off to the previously-unseen Chuck Skudfungus, who looked ready to go for a ride. With all in readiness, Loneblow scooped up the goblin in an attempt to toss him downfield, but overdid it on the wind-up and dropped Skudfungus back to the ground! With an ineffectual kick to the troll's massive foot, Skudfungus let him know he was still there, and before the pressing Deadite defense could make a move for the ball, the goblin was airborne again, and on target this time. Soaring over the heads of the Deadites' defense, Skudfungus landed expertly and stormed into the end zone to give the orc squad the early lead.

Now the test would come for the Deadites, to see if they could really hang in and bang with the big boys of the MMBBL. A high, drifting kick from the Spinebreaker defense helped their cause, but Klaatu Nikto wasn't able to pull it down cleanly. Instead the ghoul picked it up and held his ground while the Deadite line soundly thumped the orc line back off of midfield. Still, the Deadite offense wasn't making much headway, and the Spinebreakers met their charge at every turn, stifling the forward motion and keeping them well out of range of the end zone. Eventually, the pressure wore through, and Klaatu's pass to the wight X Morte went off course and fell free. Who should jump on it, then, but Kiro Stormaxe, who seemed to have had enough of conservative play. X Morte quickly recovered, however, and returned the favour to Stormaxe, sending the ball free yet again! Bobbled by Klaatu, the ball bounced around in the growing scrum, until finally it was somehow reeled in by zombie line-chump Goody Little Two Shoes. His elation was muffled by an onrush of angry greenskin, though, as blitzer Galthuk Battlewail stripped the ball from him and sent things back into chaos. Just as it seemed that Soran Steelfury of the Spinebreakers had got his mitts safely around the prize, the whistle for halftime blew, and both teams retreated to the locker rooms with the score one to nothing for the orcs.

Both squads appeared to be fired up when they came out for the second half, but perhaps a little too fired up. taunts began to fly between the two teams - words like "Bumstick" and "Kiro the Zero" were heard, and before too long a brawl broke out at midfield. It took some time for officials to get things sorted out, and there was some speculation that it was a ploy by the Spinebreakers to eat up the Deadites' chances of tying the game. in any case, the orcs kicked off eventually, and Varata Nikto was the first on the ball. Angry and frustrated, the Deadites put on a vicious display of offensive determination led by the snarling Wanna Little, who upended line orc Mok Rawtar awkwardly, resulting in a trip tot he infirmary for the normally stalwart greenskin. Calmly, Varata handed the ball off to the illustrious Klaatu, and the orc defense shifted their attention accordingly. Just as they were closing in, however, the Deadites reversed their strategy! Klaatu handed the ball back on the reversal, and Varata tossed to a now unattended Boomstick, who charged down the sideline en route to the goal line. Blitzer Godan Rockmaul made an attempt to stop the wily werewolf, but couldn't keep up, and the score was then tied at one.

With precious little time remaining, the Spinebreakers once again turned to the suspect bravery of Chuck Skudfungus. The Deadites, of course, saw this coming a mile away, and coordinated their defense to match. Skudfungus soared skyward from the mighty arms of Zor Loneblow, and landed adequately to boot! The dream in the little goblin's heart died, though, when the outstretched foot of Varata Nikto caught him as he tried to squeeze through to the endzone. The game was going to need overtime to find resolution! Unfortunately for the Spinebreakers, line orc Mok Rawtar, freshly returned from his brief stint in the doctor's office, would not be a part of it. Rawtar was bowled over yet again by Boomstick, and while not seriously injured, thought better of playing anymore and hit the showers early.

it would appear that old habits die hard, or in the case of the undead, not completely in any respect. The teams were once again at each others' throats before halftime could get underway, but this time the officials broke the affair up quickly thanks to the latest addition to the team, a deathroller with "2 serv n' prutek" painted crudely on the side. Never before has there been such a clear example of NOT fighting the law and the law very handily winning. The two teams were separated, the clock reset, and the game finally underway once more.

Now that the way was cleared for sanctioned, legal violence, Zor Loneblow wasted no time in squishing zombie blocker Ramming Speed underfoot. the undead being what they are, Mr. Speed was dragged back to the dugout to regenerate. Deadite retaliation was not far behind, though, as Boomstick shifted his attention to rookie line orc Ulrike Stonehide, whom he dropkicked into next week. The orcs stayed alert and moved about to cut off any offensive entry from the Deadites. Finally, with everyone in position, Soran Steelfury burst over the line and stripped the ball cleanly from a bewildered Klaatu Nikto, who appeared to be entirely concerned with getting away from his attacker. Kiro Stormaxe roared up behind his fellow blitzer and got hold of the ball, hoping to put the game away himself.

Back on the line of scrimmage, out of Stormaxe's peripheral vision, things weren't going anywhere near as well as he'd hoped. the hulking Frankenberry had laid out Orok Deathbane, crushing the black orc's hip and ending his season, while Godan Rockmaul fell under a blow from the completely uncontrollable Boomstick, marking the werewolf's third casualty of the day. Desperate and out of options by now, Kiro Stormaxe covered his eyes and lobbed the ball as far as possible into no-man's land. Wanna Little of the Deadites was closest to it, and scampered back with his tongue hanging out the side of his grinning mouth. Galthuk Battlewail made a move to stop the rushing Deadite, but was stiffarmed aside. The orcs were losing the numbers game, and Wanna Little was ditching coverage all the way back down the pitch. With little remaining to oppose him and no hop of catching up, the orcs could only watch as Wanna Little high-stepped into the endzone to give the Deadites the lead.

Only one hope remained for the Spinebreakers, and once again it was Chuck Skudfungus. The Deadites could put it away before he even got a chance for heroics, though, and put it away they did. The shallow kick was well out of range of the more mobile Spinebreakers, and never even got to Skudfungus before time ran out. The Deadites had pulled off the upset and completed the championship hangover that was the Spinebreakers' season.

MVPs of the match were Goody little Two Shoes of the Deadites, and Godan Rockmaul of the Spinebreakers for some great defensive work in the losing cause. Zor Loneblow also earns a nod for dominating the line of scrimmage and helping his fellow linemates out to boot.

Be sure to check back soon for more playoff updates!

Spinebreakers End Downhill Slide In Bleakwood

Kay Offwrong reporting again, covering the recent game between the Razor Hill Spinebreakers and the newcomer elven squad from Bleakwood, the Breakers. The stadium was filled with more than 25,000 fans, over half of which were cheering on the hometown team, giving them a nice advantage.

The coin toss went the way of the elf squad, but in a bit of a surprise they elected to defer to the 2nd half. As the kick sailed into the air, dark clouds emerged and a groan went up from the stadium as rain hit the field. The orc line surged but couldn't have their way and only managed to push the Breakers defensive line back. Gan'Rul Bloodeye, the Spinebreaker thrower, was unable to pick up the ball in the rain and bobbled it. With this slight mishap, Eldril Sidewinder stared deep into the eyes of black orc Brakgul Bloodsnarl and in an instant the big orc was in a trance, allowing the Breaker defense to make their move towards the ball, charging in on the frustrated Bloodeye. Once the Elves had rushed past him, Bloodsnarl snapped out of his daze and took his frustration out on Eldril, throwing his shoulder and possibly one or two kitchen sinks into the hit. Sidewinder hit the ground clutching his ankle, and medical staff removed him from the field of play, later deciding that he should remain out for the remainder of the match.

Bloodeye managed to calm his nerves, and, hands shaking, picked up the ball to make his way into the protection of a deadly orc cage. Zor Loneblow, Spinebreaker troll, and Long Bombadil, the Breakers' inducement-paid treeman, engaged each other in a grapple that proved more potential than kinetic. The orcs slowly and methodically made their way over half. Cirdan Elensar laid a strong hit on Gan'rul Bloodeye, popping the ball loose. Soran Steelfury managed a terrific hit on wardancer Fazmir Selefar, who needed some time to rest in the infirmy until the next drive. Steelfury then scooped up the ball and made his way into the end zone for the game's first point.

The next kick from the orcs resulted in a quick rearrangement of their defense. The Kick landed nicely and Elrohir Nolatari picked up the ball. His pass to Finrod Celebrindal somehow slipped out of the catcher's hands, and the Orc line again surged, but again only managed to shove the nimble elf line. Once more, Nolatari scooped up the ball, and this time made a great pass to Celebrindal, but the whistle soon sounded to end the half.

The kickoff for the 2nd half was greeted with sunshine as the rain had decided to dissipate. Again Elrohir Nolatari was back to get the ball, but his pass was off target and sailed into the crowd. Soran Steelfury arrived, and got his hands on the ball as the crowd tossed it back onto the field. Fazmir Selefar leaped into the air, looking to land a kick on Soran, but instead landed in a heap at the orc's feet, and the Spinebreakers moved downfield. Mok Rawtar led the charge, hitting Olwe Nenharma hard enough to warrant some time to recuperate. Cirdan Elensar roared back to the play and hit Steelfury, popping the ball loose, but he was unable to hang onto it, watching it land in the grass next to Godan Rockmaul. Out of all the chaos, Steelfury managed to get his hands on the ball again, but his journey to the endzone was cut short when he tripped himself up. The final score 1-0 Spinebreakers and their loosing streak was over.

MVPs of the match were Gan'Rul Bloodeye for his calm play in the first half and Angrod Taralom who managed to hold the line against the thick green wall of the orcs.

That's all from Bleakwood, stayed tuned for more MMBBL action still to come as the regular season is in it's final leg.

A-Nile-Ators Hold on for Tie, Spinebreakers Just Hold on

Kay Offwrong here for another report from MMBBL Action in the Bloodbath Division, where last season's Cinderella story, the Razor Hill Spinebreakers, played host to quite possibly one of the top teams of the future, the Ibisi A-Nile-Ators. And what a game this was setting up to be, as both teams really needed a win to get involved in the playoff picture. The weather was beautiful, and the stands were split up almost evenly, with the slight edge of the 26 506 in attendance cheering for the hometown Greenskins.

The A-Nile-Ators won the coin toss and with it elected to receive. The ladies from Ibisi also decided to hire on some extra talent by the name of Helmut Wulf, the chainsaw wielding maniac, along with extra medical personnel and some Bloodweiser Boys, with a little something extra for the referee to keep his eyes on the Spinebreakers.

The kick was away and landed halfway between midfield and the A-Nile-Ators end zone, and with that the game was underway. At the line Sand Witch threw her shoulder into Kolark Bonefist, who was caught off guard and sent to the Spinebreaker sideline to rest up for the next drive. Arish Cream attempted to get into the open but as she tried to dodge away from Brakgul Bloodsnarl, she tripped over his disgustingly large feet and crashed into the turf, which was just enough to start the forward surge of the thick Green Defensive line.

After her beautiful hit on Bonefist, Sand Witch dodged away from the ever hungry Galthuk Battlewail and scooped up the ball, tossing it to Ibisi thrower La Nuclear Turnip, who reeled in the ball and began her stride downfield. Unfortunately, none of the A-Nile-Ators were open and when Grace Quirrel attempted to change that, she tripped over her own feet and the orc line surged again. The orcs managed to get some bodies in front of Miss Turnip but the nimble lady managed to slip through their clutches and toss a beautiful pass downfield, to a suddenly wide-open Sun Bern, who was more than halfway to the orc endzone.

With ragged breath, Soran Steelfury caught up to Bern and managed to strip the ball out of her hands, but despite his best efforts it fell next to her on the grass waiting for someone to scoop it up. Just then, the a-Nile-Ators' hired help decided to get in on the action, and as the crack of the chainsaw distracted and impacted the orcs' defensive forces, Helmut Wulf knocked star blitzer Kiro Stormaxe onto the turf, giving the A-Nile-Ators as good a chance as they could hope for. All Tufnutella had to do was scoop up the ball, and she was into the endzone, giving her team the one to nothing lead, halfway through the first half.

As the Goblin Referee counted his coins, the Helmut Wulf once more took his place on the pitch with the Ibisi girls, this time to defend. The Kick was decent and landed fairly close to Gan'Rul Bloodeye, the untrusted orc thrower who managed to pick up the ball and bring it towards Chuck Skudfungus. To the surprise of many in attendance, the handoff was a fake, and Zor Loneblow charged forward, crashed into Ibisi linewoman Nevfer Timid. Despite the unforeseen play, Helmut Wulf saw his opening, bursting over midfield and bringing his chainsaw to bear against Bloodeye, knocking down the thrower and popping the ball loose.

Battlewail took exception to the blatant attack on his thrower, and laid a crushing hit on Helmut, while Bloodeye regained consciousness and gathered up the ball once more. Finally the handoff was made to the soon-to-be-airborne goblin. With a mighty sigh from the projectile pipsqueak and an equally mighty grunt from the living catapult called Zor Loneblow, Skudfungus was in the air, sailing towards the endzone. The little guy hit the turf running and made his way frantically towards his goal, until he stepped on his own toes and fell flat on his face, knocking himself unconscious.

With the ball deep in the corner of the endzone, La Nuclear Turnip had just enough time to run in, pick up the ball and search out a target. Her long bomb pass was on the mark, and caught easily by newcomer Hiss Isis, who took four consecutive hits from the furious Spinebreakers before Steelfury was finally able to strip the ball away from her. The hometown Hero, Kiro Stormaxe, finally got his mitts on the ball but was unable to to escape coverage and took a spill himself. As Hiss Isis recovered the ball and attempted to hand off to Sun Bern, the sharp and dangerous dragon egg used as a ball caught her in the neck and sent her to the sideline for the remainder of the drive. There wasn't much of a drive left anyway, and the whistle blew for halftime. Both teams scrambled to the locker room as the coaches tried to convey some type of new strategy to the teams.

On the ensuing Kickoff a disgruntled Spinebreaker fan tossed his Kiro "The Hero" Stormaxe stone replica helmet at Kolark Bonefist, knocking the black orc face first into the pitch. Still Gan'rul Bloodeye managed to snag the ball and make a quick toss to Soran Steelfury who broke upfield. The resourceful Sand Witch was able to get a very lucky shot off on Steelfury, and the ball again came loose. As Grace Quirrel attempted to get to the ball, she fell, and the home town boys pressed on, led by Bloodeye who again grabbed the ball and made his way into a very protective orc pocket, searching for a receiver.

Enter Zaga Zig, and enter she did! A beauty of a hit sent Bloodeye sprawling on the ground and the ball was again loose. The only player who could get his hands on it was Soran Steelfury, who scooped up the ball and rumbled into the endzone for the tying score before Gan'rul could even open his weary eyes. 1-1 was the score and it was shaping up for a photo finish.

The next kick again saw the fans showing their love and support for the fielded teams. And another Kiro "The Hero" Stormaxe stone replica helmet came soaring out of the stands at Kolark Bonefist, this time however the very slow black orc was able to duck in time and the helmet hit A-Nile-Ators blitzer Arish Cream, knocking her unconscious. The kick landed right on the line of scrimmage and a total brawl ensued. A brilliant blitz By Kiro Stormaxe saw him make his way dangerously close to the goal. Steelfury shoved Sand Witch out of bounds and the crowed gave her a bit of a roughing up, but game-saver Nevfer Timid laid a beautiful hit on Stormaxe to keep him out of scoring position. With nothing left to do but scrum about for the ball, the whistle blew. Late game heroics from both squads!

MVPs of the match were Sun Bern for her excellent play, and Orok Deathbane who at times looked like he may do things. That's all from Razor Hill and Dragon Spine Stadium! Tune in to the MMBBL for more news and updates from our other games.

Rumble in Razor Hill

Kay Offwrong Reporting for MMBBL sports, on another beautiful day in Razor Hill as the Deadites are in town to clash with the Reigning Spike Tournament Champions. With a whopping 27,094 in attendance with the slight edge for the home team, the two teams took to the field. The weather was perfect for the game and the coin toss was won by the visitors, who elected to kick rather than receive. In a bit of a shocking surprise, Count Luther Von Drakenborg was wearing an official Deadites jersey and took the field to play with the boys from D-Town.

On the Kick off, the orc line took NO time getting things started pushing the Undead line back on their heels. The best hit saw Kolark Bonefist level Torch Boy, and with that Steelfury snatched up the ball and fell in behind a protective wall of orcs. Boomstick the ever Vicious Werewolf made his move and knocked over Orok Deathbane with a powerful hit. Drakenborg decided to get in on the action himself and laid another great hit on Brakgul Bloodsnarl. Line zombie Ramming Speed also tried to get in on the glory, throwing himself into Godan Rockmaul, but the orc just brushed him aside.Torch Boy managed to get to his feet from the jarring hit laid on him by Bonefist just in time to have the black orc send him into the dirt again. At home in the dirt, Torch Boy this time stayed down a little longer. Godan Rockmaul then decided to test his strength against the newest Deadite team member and sent Drakenborg into the pitch to join Torch Boy.

The rest of the orc squad couldn't muster much at the line of scrimmage aside form pushing and grappling, and the Deadites were too busy trying to keep themselves upright to make any surge of their own. But with the line occupied, Steelfury managed to make his way over midfield. Torch Boy and Drakenborg, seeing Steelfury cross into Deadite territory, teamed up together to get a good play on the greenskinned ball carrier. Drakenborg used his starry gaze, lulling Rockmaul into a stupor, thus allowing Torch boy to make a text book blitz on Steelfury. The orc took the hit in stride however and managed to not only stay on his feet, but hang onto the ball as well. Soran Steelfury, enraged at the attempt to knock him over, took his revenge out on wight Henry the Red, whose back was turned to the play while engaged in a grapple with Kiro Stormaxe. With a gut wrenching crunch Henry hit the ground, and Steelfury merely winked at the fallen Deadite as he rumbled down the sideline towards the goal line.

In a last ditch effort to free up some tacklers, Klaatu Nikto attempted to break away from the Spinebreakers big man. However, the rumbly troll Zor Loneblow spotted the crafty ghoul and managed to get his foot in the way to trip him up. More pushing ensued at the line and Steelfury seemed Home free, until Drakenborg earned his paycheck, laying a hit that sent Steelfury flat on his face! The rest of Steelfury's protection caught up to him, and managed to help him out just enough for him to exact some revenge. Struggling to his feet, he punched Varata Nikto in the side of the head, snatched up the ball and dove across the line for the first score of the game!

The following kick off landed deep, in the Deadite endzone, and the two wily ghouls headed back to retrieve the ball. Boomstick laid a solid hit on Rok Straglash as Klaatu Nikto rushed in line behind his brother Varata and Henry the Red. Ramming Speed tried his luck on Borgosh Hellrage, but the black orc tossed him to the ground with one hand and rushed towards the advancing ghouls.The orc line then laid some well placed hits and managed to leave the undead line both dazed and confused. Not a tall task when working with zombies but an accomplishment none the less.

Drakenborg knew that this time he'd have to reassemble the disarrayed zombie line, and made no mistake, shunting the shambling minions into place. With this newly reformed offensive line rushing ahead, Boomstick, riding the crest of this wave of destruction, took out his frustration at Steelfury's earlier display of scoring prowess and sent the blitzer crashing awkwardly into the ground. The hometown fans knew it looked bad and a collective sigh of relief went up when the
news arrived that he had suffered no long-term damage.

The ghouls seemed unstoppable and with time winding down Boomstick tried his luck again, this time lining up Kiro Stormaxe for an attack, but the orc was too much for him and put the wolf on his backside. With that Stormaxe was able to lay a clean hit on Klaatu Nikto, knocking the ball loose. Kiro then picked up the ball and tossed it to a wide open Mok Rawtar. The line orc must have been pre-occupied with the thoughts of touchdown glory, because he dropped the pass, and with that the whistle for halftime blew.

After the break, both teams emerged from the locker rooms and took to the pitch. The kick from the orc squad never looked good and sailed straight out of bounds. The referee decided to fetch the ball from the stands and after a lengthy wait the teams decided to use a replacement until he returned. Again, ghoul runner Klaatu grasped the ball and, as if possessed (which seems probable), he began to glide up the sideline. The struggle on the line picked up right where it left off, but this time things were much more violent. Godan Rockmaul managed a hit on Torch Boy that would sideline him for the rest of the game, and Boomstick shoved Rok Straglash out of bounds, the fans showing the appreciation by knocking out the poor line orc. With this new momentum, the lowly Sword Boy decided to test his might against Borgosh Hellrage. With all his heart and soul - perhaps maybe not the best choice of words...with all his something, anyway - he smacked the massive orc-shaped wall of bricks, sending Hellrage crashing in a heap, in an orc-shaped crater at midfield. Hellrage was in stable condition, but will be out of the lineup for the Spinebreakers next match.

In a last stand defensive effort, Galthuk Battlewail got close enough to Klaatu to strip the ball out of the ghouls hands, and it bounced free on the ground. As Battlewail attempted to pick it up, Boomstick caught him with his head down and sent him to the infirmary, where the Orc would spend the rest of the match. After realizing what had happened, Klaatu continued downfield, scooping up the prize and crossing the line to tie the game.

The Spinebreakers had too many teammates recovering to make a decent offensive drive. So the decided to field goblin Chuck Skudfungus, who's as indecent as they get. On a brilliant kick by the Deadites, Orc Thrower Go'dan Rockmaul fielded the ball and handed off to the tiny boblin, who all but fainted. The young Skudfungus closed his eyes as the talons of Zor Loneblow closed around him, and he soon felt himself soaring through the air! A moment later he opened his eyes to find himself not only alive, but near the endzone to boot! And as quickly as he had been launched into the air, he crossed the goal line giving his team the lead again.

Frustrated, the undead were determined to get their next touchdown quickly. With a decent kick the undead executed excellent placement of their offense on a brilliant quick snap. The ball was snatched up by none other than Klaatu Nikto, who made his way downfield and handed off to wight X Morte Who crossed through the sparse orc defence. The zombie line had no trouble taking care of the few orc defenders, and with a handoff to Boomstick,the speedy werewolf was in
the endzone, and the score was again tied.

Skudfungus' knees were clattering together like like a skeleton in a blizzard, as he took to the field for a second consecutive drive. As he sailed through the air this time, his trip seemed a lot shorter, and as he again opened his eyes he could barely even see the endzone, let alone reach it before certain death. The goblin managed to scramble into some degree of coverage, but the smell of fear was enough for Boomstick to track him down.The ball popped loose and was bobbled around as time ticked away; Skudfungus got to his feet and managed to kick the already downed Henry the Red just as the referee returned from the stands to hear poor Henry's ribs crack. The tiny green hero was tossed from the game and the final whistle blew. The final score was a 2-2 draw, in a dazzling display of necromayhem and goblin gutsiness.

MVPs for the game were Klaatu of the Deadites for obvious reasons, and Mok Rawtar for reasons unknown. Special mention to Skudfungus for managing to not only be productive, but to survive as well.

Carnosaurs Best Spinebreakers in Possible Bloodbath Playoff Preview

We've got another special report coming your way, sportsfiends! This time it's our newest addition to the reporter stable, Kay Offwrong.

One of the four games on this week's schedule saw the defending champions, the Razor Hill Spinebreakers host a rival expansion team from last season, and a good one at that, the Darkmire Carnosaurs.

Dragon Spine Arena was Packed to near maximum capacity 19,493, with the scaleskins outnumbering the greenskinned home crowd. The coin toss, however, went in favor of the Spinebreakers and naturally they elected to receive the opening kickoff.

As the kick sailed high into the air, the clouds parted and the sun lit up the sky. Naturally the hometown hero, Kiro Stormaxe got his hands on the kick and the drive was underway.

The two biggest and meanest nasties on the field, Grimjaw the Wise and Zor Loneblow spent most of their time on the opening plays staring deeply into each others eyes it what can only be described as some sort of primal staring contest, neither wanting to show any sign of weakness to the other. Realizing that the big fellas were too busy to muster up blocks, Firetongue from the Carnosaurs absolutely demolished Black Orc Kolark Bonefist who, though he is expected to suffer no long term injuries, was unable to return to the match.

Meanwhile the nimble Mok Rawtar broke away from his coverage and came shoulder to shoulder with Kiro Stormaxe, the two then broke away down the sideline into Carnosaur territory.

The added protection of Rawtar wasn't enough to help Kiro when, out from behind the line, came saurus Wildfang who appeared to run straight through Kiro. The ball sailed high into the air, and landed safely in the arms of Swiftclaw.

Black Orc Galthuk Battlewail, upon seeing this, took his shot at Swiftclaw, knocking out the little fellow. As he indulged in his celebration, Daggermaw took a retaliatory shot and sent the black orc packing to join the rest of his teammates on the sideline.

The ball now as safe as it could be in the hands of Pondskipper, who had barely sighed in relief When Orc blitzer Soran Steelfury stripped it from the lightning quick skink and got HIS mitts on it.

As neither team could decide who should have the ball, the line of scrimmage became a war zone. Lashtail engaged in a gecko-roman wrestling clinch with Deathbane, decided he had listened to enough Orc snarling and leveled the orc. After some sideline dental work, which saw the removal of a hand full of saurus scales, A gold plated wristguard, three molars and a live chicken, Deathbane was declared fit to continue.

Out of the pile emerged the dodgey Mok Rawtar, who had decided that enough was enough. Scooping up the ball, he tossed a pass in seemingly one motion. Steelfury, in stride, pulled the ball out of thin air and danced into the endzone virtually untouched. The home town boys were ahead 1-0 in the dying seconds of the first half.

Anyone who is anyone knows that skinks are renowned for their speed, and those same anyones also know that Orcs are generally unintelligent, stubborn and forgetful. With merely seconds left in the half the orc kick landed in front of speedy skink Reedrush, Who, looking at the clock, decided it was time to shine. With a wink to the saurus line, they began their all star performance of blocking, setting almost every orc on his behind. With a flash of green and gold and a puff of smoke, as if teleporting through time and space itself, Reedrush appeared a fraction of a second later celebrating in the Orc endzone. With jaws nearly touching the ground and eyes as wide as an ogre's behind, the orc team headed to the locker room to discuss what went wrong. The Carnosaurs joined them in leaving the field after Reedrush received some much deserved team appreciation.

With the score tied 1 all the Orcs were set to kick again. This kick looked good, bouncing mere inches from the orc line. The Spinebreakers decided to stack the right side of the pitch, but the Carnosaurs, cashing in on the forgetfulness of the orcs, are merely did what they did best and simply outran the orcs to the ball. Zipping across to the left side of the pitch, Reedrush handed off to a wide open Pondskipper who walked into the endzone without an orc within sight.

Lots of time remained on the clock, but unsuccessful blocks and a determined saurus defensive line meant that the orcs could barely muster a simple pass before time expired. The Carnosaurs had defeated the reigning champions and solidified their reputation as a top contender for this season's Dungeonbowl Championship.

MVPs of the match were Puddlejumper of the Carnosaurs for his shifty assists, and Rok Straglash who earned the honors simply for showing up.

Special mentions go to Lashtail and Firetongue, saurus blockers, for their strong presences on the line of scrimmage, as well as to skinks Reedrush and Pondskipper for their skilled handiwork throughout the match.

Thanks for that comprehensive and humorous take on the action, Kay! Still more updates to follow!

Dungeonbowl Ramp-Up part 3: Bloodbath Division

Another season arrives, and the MMBBL gets a shuffling of teams once more. Some brand new, some returning from hiatus. Eight of these teams call Bloodbath Division their home, and we're about to meet them!


What still needs to be said about the Razor Hill Spinebreakers and their cinderella season? Coming out of the Scrabbled Lands, this band of tough-as-nails greenskins ploughed their way through the playoffs, knocking off lizards, humans and at last elves to capture their first championship. Led by the iron will of blitzer Kiro Stormaxe, the Spinebreakers look forward to defending their title this Winter. Stormaxe was heard to comment, "Da plan is da same. Play, win, repeat. If our game ain't broke, we don't fix it. If dem other teams' games ain't broke, we ain't got to 'em yet!"

Coached by Ryan Keizer. Arena rule: Dragon Egg: When a player fails to pick up the ball or is knocked down onto the ball, make an armour check on that player. If it breaks through, roll on the injury table, treating serious injuries as knockouts.

The Carnosaurs, after a disappointing playoff exit, are back and looking for a little revenge. Entering the new season with the third-highest team rating, these scaly scoundrels are primed to surpass their previous effort and make their run at the championship. Reporters attempted to get a statement from the immense Grimjaw the Wise, who, after taking several minutes to consider his response, uprooted a tree and threw it seventy yards into a concessions stand.

Coached by Jai Gagnon. Arena Rule: Bogged Down: Players may Go For It one less time than normal.

The surprise of the Summer season has returned! The squad that at first was unfamiliar with the very concept of scoring is back to educate the rest of the league on the rougher points of the game. Rumour has it that the Blasters did, in fact, show up for Blood Bowl Day, but no one wanted anything to do with them! When asked for comment, skeleton Cal Ciferous said "they know what's coming, but they only delayed the inevitable!". A team several thousand years old probably knows all about inevitability.

Coached by Matt Stroud. Arena Rule: Rock Solid: If a player is pushed out of bounds, the injury results in a knockout on a roll of 6-9, as opposed to the usual 8-9.


(ART NOT FINAL)

The Bleakwood Breakers hail from the elven realm of Mathora Mista, where they have honed their Blood Bowl skills since times of mist-fogged history. They played only once on Blood Bowl Day, and thusly remain an unknown factor, which is likely all a part of their plans. Thrower Elrohir Nolatari, when interviewed, left no room for interpretation of the Breakers' sentiments, stating that "this great sport has been sullied by artless brutes - undead monstrosities, vulgar orcs, dirty, smelly dwarves, and all manner of undesirable untalents. The Bleakwood Breakers will return a sense of class to the field."

Coached by Andrew Embury. Arena Rule: Stubborn Treant: At the start of each half, the kicking team places a Treant token on the pitch, along the line of scrimmage. This 2 x 2 token blocks line of sight and stops any pass scattering through it. it may not be pushed or displaced until the start of a new half or overtime period.

Taking a break from the usual shambling, moaning and generally being undead, the Deadites bring a quick, versatile offense to the division. Their prowess was evident early on Blood Bowl Day, as the impressive ghoul runner Klaatu Nikto ran for four touchdowns. A slight setback came in the loss of werewolf Come Get Some, but the remaining players, most of whom have such sketchy memories that they don't have actual names themselves, are committed to showing what necromancy can do when it puts what's left of its minds to it. Says wight blocker X Morte, "I'll swallow your soul!" Now that's enthusiasm, folks!

Coached by: Neil Davies Arena Rule: The Ball is Live!: Whenever a player attempts to pick up the ball, he or she must throw a block against it first. The ball has no skills and a strength of 1. If the result of the block knocks the ball down, it can then be picked up. If the result is a push, the ball scatters randomly. After a push result, the player may advance and try to block it again, if he or she has sufficient movement allowance remaining. These actions do not count as a blitz, but may be used as part of a blitz move.



Hailing from picturesque Koldnjard, the Fjord Rangers are a rowdy, enthusiastic sort. Fearless in the face of adversity, their lone Blood Bowl Day match was against the well-established Sun Temple Chupacabras. Their skilled, smash-mouth play style brought them a great deal of praise, and the MMBBL fandom in general is looking forward to seeing them take the pitch this week. Dag Thoresen, berserker and battle axe collector, spoke on behalf of his teammates. "Ja, ve gut sum gut expeeryence tuday. Ve ull jest vant tu git der seasun untervay und show wut ve can du." Truer, more ethnically convoluted words were never spoken.

Coached by: James Richards. Arena Rule: An Inspiration to us all: Whenever a player is seriously injured, that player's team gains a reroll token.

The A-Nile-Ators' origins are somewhat mysterious - all-female (a first for the MMBBL, which is a progressive, equal opportunity league) and also, composed entirely of animal aspects. From the lush, fertile lands surrounding the city of Ibisi, this nimble squad of femmes fatales may be too much for the monosyllabic menfolk to handle! According to the interestingly-named thrower La Nuclear Turnip, "we are prepared to let our skill do the talking. We are strong, proud, and capable of internal validation...though if someone told me that this sarong looked good on me I wouldn't mind."

Coached by: Valérie Cormier. Arena Rule: Land of Milk and Honey: Whenever a player is rolling to wake up from a knockout, add 1 to the roll.

Seventy-two years ago, in a swamp about a week away, the town of Dago's Bog was founded. It's chief exports have always been squash, peat and communicable disease, but now they're adding "Blood Bowl Action!" to that list. In a town filled with folk with more upper body muscles than brain cells and less scruples than a doppelganger in a beauty pageant, it would have been easy to assemble a group of thugs to play the game. Not so with the Farmboys, whose name in fact speaks of their character. The local government, hoping to improve their town's reputation, has selected their hardest-working, most starry-eyed young lads to bring an honest day's work to a town which views honesty as a four-letter word. As lineman Bill "Porky" Hootkins says, "I've got a problem here. No, no, no, I'm alright, I'm alright." Very laid back. Very professional!

Coached by: Jon Roth. Arena Rule: Scum and Villainy: When calculating inducements at the start of the game, each player may pay 100k to hire a "bounty hunter". A Bounty Hunter is a human lineman with the following abilities: Loner, Dirty Player, and Stab.

And that's Bloodbath Division this season! Check back again soon for Deathdealer's big mean six!

Go-Getters, Record Setters, and Bed-Wetters: The Autumn 2008 MMBBL Awards!

And now what you fans have all been waiting for - the MMBBL's award ceremony for the Autumn 2008 season! We've got the best and the brightest, the toughest, the roughest, and of course, the worst performances in the league!

Starting things off is the winner of the Silver Elbow, awarded to the player with the most completed passes in the league. This one's a no-brainer folks. With his closest contender, Fivel Mausketrap, a full seven completions behind, our winner here is Lance Freely of the Fly-by Knights with a staggering twenty completions this season. With an arm that never tires and more moves than an afternoon at chess club, there's nowhere to go but up for this young gun.

Next on the list come the big playmakers. The guys who, through force of will, brute strength and sweet moves, got the ball over that goal line the most times this season. To no one's surprise the winner is Tsih Killwillow of the Blueriver Wardoves with seven big scores. He was chased the whole way, though, by teammate Angruil Grimmrose, as well as Knights' receiver Stanley Steele and Go'nads' runner Dick Gozinia with six scores each. Killwillow, who also took home the Spike! Magazine cover deal, has shown nothing but the best in leadership-by-example for his high-flying team.

Next up, what some say is the hardest award to win...on purpose at least. And in that spirit, there was no single winner of the Brass Doorknob award for Undeniable Interference. There were only three interceptions all season in this league, likely due to a combination of highly accurate throwers and incredibly stubborn runners. The three picks that did get pulled down came from a diverse set of players. Firstly, Sue Xtopilopicoatl of the Chupacabras, who showed us how high a leapin' lizard can get. Next up was Victor Dashing of the Knights who did a little bit of everything, and did it very well, this season. Finally, from the "really had no business doing anything with a hand that doesn't involve punching" category, Orok Deathbane of the Spinebreakers, who by reasons we can only describe as the quantum probability of time and space skipping a beat, pulled in an errant pass of his own.

There were several players in the running for the Commissioner's Medal for Exemplary Brutality this season...until Cludge Slamboni got it in gear and ran away with it. With a whopping six serious injuries to his name, the Smash and Go'nads' deathroller pilot left his mark on the league this year, a greasy, pulpy smear that no other player could hope to live up to. Worth mentioning, however, in the category of actual confirmed kills, are three players who left their marks on the rosters of their opponents. Barkley Hobbittosser made not only a name for himself, but likely a species, genus, and possibly a phylum as well when he obliterated an unknown Norse journeyman in a game against the Asgard Raiders. A few games later, Fly-by Knights ogre Barglesnart Livingstone abruptly and colorfully brought an end to chaos dwarf Rip Tendon after hurling the Traumatic Takedown player into a vat of known unknowns, possibly the most philosophical death in league history to involve turning purple and catching fire. Finally, Reptar the Reprehensible of the Sun Temple Chupacabras gorefully terminated Tanthil Twigbreaker of the Blueriver Wardoves in playoff action, leaving barely enough to pass off as a jar of pasta sauce, let alone enough for a proper burial.

The player to be awarded the most MVP accolades over the course of the season was the impressive Fhorin Bloodmeadow, with three such awards to his name. Despite a late-season injury which will no doubt affect his quick mobility, he remains a fantastic all-round athlete and a credit to the Wardoves squad. Many other players earned a pair of MVP nods, but close doesn't count in the MMBBL.

Finally, our award for overall points gain and season MVP award goes to...Victor Dashing of the Fly-by Knights! Dashing made his mark in every aspect of the game this season, earning two MVP awards, a trio of casualties, three touchdowns, a completion, and even an interception. He's been seen lately chilling with Spike! player of the year award winner Tish Killwillow at some of the biggest events in Blueriver and Valor Keepe, and it's rumoured that the two are planning to open a lucrative nightclub in the off season.

Rounding out the top ten of overall points were Tsih Killwillow with 27, Dick Gozinia and Kiro Stormaxe with 24, Stanley "Stainless" Steele with 23, Reedrush and Twinkletoes with 21, Lance Freely with 20, and Egor Longrow and Dingleberry with 19 each.

Finally, the saddest sack, the lamest duck, the Big Fat Zero award goes to...the Buccinator of the Traumatic Takedown! This surly underachieving line dwarf did nothing impressive except possibly be the most unimpressive player all season! Even his teammate Rip Tendon had the good sense to get himself killed. We'll expect more from the Buccinator when we see him next. Why? because frankly, it's impossibly to set the bar any lower than ground level!

That's the lot of them, sportsfiends! Here's wishing you and yours a happy holiday season, and be sure to check back in the off-season for updates regarding new teams, new coaches, rules, events, and above all, MMBBL mayhem!

Victory isn't Always Pretty

This Tuesday, the Blueriver Wardoves hosted the Razor Hill Spinebreakers to determine who would come away with the coveted Spike! Tournament trophy. The weather was fine and the crowd sufficiently rowdy, all that was left to do was flip the coin and let slip the dogs of war. The two big dogs on the field this day were the quick, agile, and well-groomed Prince Moranian, and the big, big and very big Ripper.

As the elves kicked off to the orcs, it became evident that more that the usual amount of dogs had been, as it were, let slip. The kick sailed out of bounds and, by some terrible happenstance, hit the recent winner of the Miss Blueriver Pageant square in the face, dislodging several teeth, bending her nose awkwardly, and blackening her eye beyond even the most desperate of mascara touch-ups. Enraged by this affront to beauty, the elf fans stormed the pitch, apparently deciding to blame this affront to beauty on the least beautiful things on the field, namely the Spinebreakers. As the dust settled, nearly three quarters of the greenskin squad lay half-conscious on the ground, giving the Wardoves a fantastic opportunity to steal a quick point.

Luckily for the orcs, a few competent players yet remained standing, including line orc Mok Rawtar, who got the ball out of the path of the onrushing elves and fell in behind a pair of blockers who miraculously remained on their feet. The Wardoves pride themselves on their mobility, however, and blitzer Albiir Featherdeath put that skill on display early, ducking in around the protection to knock Rawtar over and the ball loose. Now as the rest of the orc team came out of their collective daze, they began to crowd the ball and keep anyone at all from picking the thing up. Prince Moranian, seeing an opportunity to strike, burst forward and laid out orc blocker Kolark Bonefist, dropping the hefty fellow onto the ball itself. The football bounced and rolled about in the pile of bodies, until it eventually found its way into the sausage-like grasp of Mok Rawtar once more!

Once again, Albiir Featherdeath moved to knock the lucky line orc senseless, but this time Rawtar was ready for him, dropping the elf on his backside with a thud. The orc line pressed steadily forward. Tsih Killwillow then made a rush of his own, lining Rawtar up for a dropkick, but only succeeding in stifling the orc's pace for a moment. Still, the orcish line surged forward! Finally beinging their physical skills to bear against the elves, the orcs began to shape the drive the way they would like it, first as blocker Borgosh Hellrage put out Ellbin Ivythorn's lights, and soon after as Ripper singled out Prince Moranian from the press of bodies and stunned the elven star, further clearing a path for the orc runner. With a mighty heave the orc line surged once more, but the final charge that the elves were anticipating from Mok Rawtar never came. With a rare act of selflessness, the line orc handed the ball off to teammate Kiro Stormaxe, and of course, Kiro being Kiro, the blitzer was out of coverage like a bolt of green lightn ing and into the end zone for the first point of the game.

The Wardoves were not discouraged, however. An offense with their speed and grace would not be discoraged by the amount of time the orc drive had chewed up, and neither were they bothered when the Spinebreakers burst quickly over the center line on a blitz. With Prince Moranian plowing a path through the orcs' line, Tsih Killwillow and Angruil Grimmrose charged downfield like two birds of prey diving for a juicy Blueriver salmon. Several other elves made a move to surround and protect the football, and when Galthuk Battlewail laid a hit on Albiir Featherdeath, the elf blitzer calmly rolled with the hit, grabbed the ball from the gorund and ducked out of harm's way! Handing off quickly to the recently-returned Bendark Mossfang, Featherdeath provided protection as his quarterback hurled the ball downfield to the waiting Angruil Grimmrose, but the play was spoiled when Grimmrose failed to reel the ball in safely. The whistle blew and the half ended, with the Razor Hill Spinebreakers up one to nothing.

With play resuming, the Wardoves lined up to receive the kickoff. Quick movement on their part opened up the field for them early on, and the the kick was very deep, Bendark Mossfang was able to get to the football before the orc defense became a threat. With coverage pressing in, Mossfang made his choice and fired a pass to Tish Killwillow, but the pass drifted and fell to the ground. One can hardly blame Mossfang for the miscue, as he was tormented from start to finish on this drive by Godan Rockmaul, who shoved him down and kicked mud in his face at every opportunity. Away from the play, line orc Rok Straglash made his bid for most brutal play of the game by grabbing elf receiver Angruil Grimmrose by the shoulders and faceplanting him into the pitch. Grimmrose was in rough shape, but some attention from the Wardoves' medical staff fixed him up quickly. Tsih Killwillow, for his part, had no such trouble on his side of the field, cartwheeling past a blocker, leaping over the heads of two blitzers, grabbing the ball and dodging his way into the end zone, as well as the hearts of Blueriver Wardoves fans everywhere, tying the game at one.

With a high kick, the orc drive was back underway, and Kiro Stormaxe started things off by coolly fielding the kick and getting on his way up the pitch. The toweing Ripper lended a very big hand by knocking out line elf Bendyrm Cloudrender, and blockers Brakgul Bloodsnarl and Orok Deathbane did their part by crashing through the elves' defensive formation to set up the front side of a textbook orc running cage. The cage is strong, but never foolproof when the other side is just as determined as the cage team, and Prince Moranian proved this with a key blitz, wrestling a surprised Kiro Stormaxe to the dirt and freeing the ball to skitter away into the dogpile. A desperate grab by the freshly-returned Angruil Grimmrose was a bust, and the ball bounced on, this time into the waiting hands of Soran Steelfury. With a yell of triumph to alert his teammates, Steelfury triggered an herculean blocking frenzy which scattered the elf defenders left and right, clearing a path for the blitzer to dodge away from coverage and high-step his way over the goal line. Precious little time remained on the clock, and the moans from the saddened home crowd were drowned out by the roar of the visiting orc supporters.

The Wardoves, for their part, lost with grace. Pulling back from the line on the ensuing kickoff, Bendark Mossfang tossed a pass to Tsih Killwillow, and the Wardoves, without the time needed to make a nother trip to the end zone, bowed to their opponents as time expired. The Razor Hill Spinebreakers, roaring with the thrill of victory, had succeeded where so many other orc teams had failed. Honouring their ancestors and the entire orcish nation alike, this rough-around-the-edges group of green greenskins showed that, at least for today, Might does indeed make Right.

Despite the loss, the Wardoves have cause for celebration. Despite brutal injuries that would have sent lesser teams into a collective fetal crouch, the elves rebounded again and again from adversity, and one elf in particular had something big to show for it. Flanked by the gorgeous models from Spike! Magazine's "Swimsuit and Siege Weaponry" calendar, Tsih Killwillow was awarded the Spike! player of the year award. Look for his picture on the cover of Spike! next month, as well as his usual appearances in the Wardoves' calendars, posters, and limited edition collectors' plates!

MVP awards for the Spike! tournament finals went to Prince Moranian on the Wardoves' side, and to Galthuk Battlewail of the Spinebreakers for some keen, mean defensive play.

Talk about an underdog run, folks! Fighting their way through lizardmen, humans and elves, the Razor Hill Spinebreakers pulled through with just the latest in a long line of thrilling victories to claim their place in MMBBL history. Will they duplicate their success in the coming Winter season? Keep it locked on the MMBBL to find out!

Spinebreakers Stun Knights to Advance

Time once again for another exciting update from the MMBBL Spike! Tournament playoffs! This time, it's the highly-rated Fly-by Knights hosting the newcomer Razor Hill Spinebreakers. While the knights may have been the favourites early on, their close victory over the Pancake Valley Shortstacks may have take a toll on them, physically and mentally. The Spinebreakers, for there part, have never been more ready to smash things.

Under bright conditions the two squads met at Valor Keepe Stadiumme. By way of inducements, the Spinebreakers had acquired the services of Ripper the troll, and had also made use of some very upscale training facilities to hone themselves into gameday weapons. The Knights would benefit from both a precautionary addition to their medical staff, as well as the enthusiasm of their roaring fans.

The Spinebreakers won the coin flip and chose, unsurprisingly, to receive first. A roar from the crowd on the kickoff seemed to inspire the humans briefly, but the tide of battle would turn quickly for the greenskins. with Kiro Stormaxe fielding the kick, troll blocker Zor Loneblow launched himself towards the Knights' Barglesnart Livingstone, in what promised to be an epic struggle of two overlarge, maladjusted meatheads. The impact was truly bonecrunching, with Loneblow falling to the ground stunned, and Livingstone being seriously injured. Luckily for the ogre, the Knights' medical staff patched him up nicely, ensuring his return for the next drive. Meanwhile, sheltered by the aforementioned mountains of mayhem, Kiro Stormaxe had made his move and crossed half, a screaming green bullet en route to the end zone. Human running back Jacques Strappe made a final bid to stop him, but Stormaxe was able to fend off his efforts and stride in to register the game's first point.

From hereon in, it appeared as if the Knights had been cursed. The coaches did their best to settle their charges down, but when the next drive started, Brad Attitûd dropped a costly pass from Lance Freely and he play began to fall apart. Worst of all for the Knights, sturdy lineman Abraham Sandwich was clobbered by Ripper, and needed the efforts of the already hard-pressed apothecary crew to repair the damage to his leg. The free ball, meanwhile was pounced on by orc blitzer Galthuk Battlewail, who plowed stubbornly through the secondary and crossed the goal line, putting the Spinebreakers ahead 2-0 before the halftime whistle blew. The orcs couldn't have imagined a better start, while the humans were watching yet another campaign's hopes crumble.

The human fans, however, would rather resort to violence than despair. As the second half began, countless hooligans dressed in Knights blue and green stormed the pitch and laid waste to the orcish defense. A few managed to remain upright, but for the most part the Spinebreakers defense had been folded up and put away like laundry. The ball came to lineman Abraham Sandwich, who, seeing a opportunity to help a friend out, handed off to Barglesnart Livingstone. Ball in hand, the ogre barreled downfield and was nearly into the end zone, only to be somehow stopped dead in his tracks by a lone orc who had probably expected to be a speedbump instead of a giant-killer. Livingstone tumbled to the ground, unharmed but dazed, the ball slipping from his grasp. Fortunately for the knights, they rarely travel alone. Chet Jackweed picked up the ball and tossed it to Cyrano de Baggagerack, who completed the play and brought the Knights within a point of the Spinebreakers.

With the ball now in the orcs' possession again, the humans would need a steal if they ad any hope of victory. While the Spinebreakers started off badly when Kiro Stormaxe failed to field the kick, their spirits were lifted shortly thereafter when blocker Kolark Bonefist knocked rookie lineman Humphrey Bogatyr out. Eventually, Stormaxe got his hands on the ball and handed of to the very brave (or very foolish) Huck Skudfungus. Ripper then picked the little fellow up and hurled him downfield, and the goblin landed safely to the dismay of the hometown crowd. Out of nowhere, though, came blitzer Cyrano de Baggagerack, stripping the ball loose and saving the Knights' chances. Skudfungus recovered and got to the ball again, but couldn't get far enough away from de Baggagerack, who mashed the little greenskin much more thoroughly this time. Skudfungus was hauled away with serious concussion symptoms (which are hard to detect as goblins technically exist in concussion-like symptoms on a normal, daily basis).

On the scene to recover the ball was Victor Dashing, and with little time remaining he threw the ball on a prayer to the streaking Chet Jackweed, who caught the pass and was closing in on the end zone! It looked like there would be another overtime for the Knights, until disaster struck. Jackweed lost his footing as he fell into the crater left by Barglesnart Livingstone after his fall in the first half, and the ball squirted free before he could cross the line with it. A shocked crowd looked on as the clock burned out and the Spinebreakers began to celebrate. With a two to one victory, the orcs had made their way to the finals, and in doing so maintained the strong tradition of orc teams in the MMBBL's growing history. The Knights, however, would be cleaning out their lockers yet again - will they ever find the success they pursue so doggedly?

MVPs of this semifinal match were Wamsley Wedgeworth of the Knights and and Rok Straglash of the Spinebreakers, who mimicked his teammate Mok Rawtar's training regime of shifty, dodgey zone defense.

What remains to be seen, now, is who the Spinebreakers will face in the finals! Look for the next update soon to follow, as the Smash and Go'nads host the Blueriver Wardoves in an iconic battle of pointy ears vs. beardy beers! See you then!

Spinebreakers Edge Carnosaurs in the Bog

With the sun shining through the parting mists of the Bog, Tuesday saw the third of four quarterfinal matches, as the Darkmire Carnosaurs played host to the Razor Hill Spinebreakers. The crowd favoured the home team, likely as hardly anyone but the Carnosaurs themselves know how to properly navigate Darkmire without being eaten by a rampaging ultragator. The Spinebreakers did win the coin toss, however, and elected to receive for the opening play.

Despite a gust of wind sweeping over the playing field, Kiro Stormaxe was able to field the ball cleanly and hand it off to goblin newcomer Huck Skudfungus, who braced himself as Zor Loneblow lifted him high in the air for a throw downfield. Regrettably, Skudfungus was not well-gripped by the troll, and fell back to the ground, barely landing safely. The Carnosaurs were ready for such an opportunity, and Wildfang the saurus crashed headlong into Skudfungus, knocking the ball and several teeth loose. What was not according to the lizardmen's plans was the ball squirting free and bouncing directly into the arms of Kiro Stormaxe once more. Kiro was off like a shot, breaking for the far side of the field, looking for an open running lane. The Spinebreakers' blockers were happy to make one for him, and were given no trouble from the larges lizard on the pitch, the thoughtful Grimjaw the Wise, who seemed to be absorbed in much more cosmic consideration. Assisted by line orc Mok Rawtar and blitzer Galthuk Battlewail, Kiro Stormaxe plowed past the saurus line and through the skink secondary, until finally crossing the goal line for the game's opening point.

The orc drive had taken up much of the first half, but the Carnosaurs were the faster team and could still plan for a touchdown before the halftime gong. The kickoff, though high, was not fielded cleanly by Reedrush. Fortunately, it took a favourable hop and he was on the ball in a flash after it landed. The orcs showed some speed of their own, coupled with good play-reading, and Godan Rockmaul headed off Reedrush before he could break past the line of scrimmage. The ball skittered away to Mudrunner, but he too was bowled over by Rockmaul, and before another skink could get his claws on the ball, time had expired.

As the game resumed, the Carnosaurs' skinks made ready for a speedy return and a tying score. Mudrunner was quick to recover the football and hand off to Reedrush, but orc blitzer Soran Steelfury gave the lizardmen a case of deja vu, tackling the skink to the ground and stripping the ball free. Somehow, in the ensuing mess of bodies, Kiro Stormaxe emerged from the pile, ball in hand, covered in tiny bite marks. Seeing this, the blockers and troll started to push forward, making as much room for their star blitzer as possible. When things jammed up against a wall of saurus blockers, Kiro moved laterally to find a new opening. Finding nothing, he unloaded a pass to fellow blitzer Steelfury, but the pass was bad and the ball was dropped.

Seizing the opportunity and the chance at a bit of heroism, Reedrush dared to be great in lining up Steelfury for a hit...only to crumple like a cardboard battlement on impact. Reedrush was dragged off the field, having sustained some bruised ribs and wounded pride. His attack may have been enough to delay the orc drive, though. Failing to get out of coverage cleanly, Soran Steelfury fell to the earth, leaving the football unguarded. In came Windwhip, the number ten skink on the Carnosaurs squad,gathering up the ball and falling in behind a wall of saurus line lizards. Coursing up the sideline en masse, Windwhip handed off to teammate Pondskipper, who was uncatchable in his drive to the end zone. The game now tied, it would remain a battle of wills and strength to win the day.

Some intense shouting from the orc coaching staff brought the greenskin players out of their lost-lead funk, so much that at the start of the very next drive, Kolark Bonefist drove himself headlong into Threehorns the saurus, cracking the latter's bone helmet and giving the large lizard a serious concussion. Almost immediately thereafter, Borgosh Hellrage slammed Wildfang to the ground, knocking him out and creating an even bigger size gap between the two squads. With Kiro Stormaxe getting ahold of the ball, the orc line pushed forward as one determined beast, held up in spots briefly by the brave, but outmatched, skink secondary. Focusing all their attention on Kiro, the lizardmen were caught off-guard when he handed off to hard-working Godan Rockmaul, who burst through the defenders and, as the dying seconds ticked away, won the game for the Spinebreakers. They were on their way to meet the Fly-by Knights in the semifinals.

MVP awards for this match went to Mok Rawtar, whose shifty play mirrored that of his teammate Rok Straglash, and Swiftclaw, who has displayed his development as a specialized receiver in the diverse Carnosaurs offensive playbook.

One quarterfinal match to go, sportsfiends: When the Blueriver Wardoves face off against the Sun Temple Chupacabras, we'll have our semifinals set, and another chapter in the MMBBL's marching history written! Until next time.

Kiro Still a Hero; Halflings Still at Zero

The Razor Hill Spinebreakers threw down a challenge to the Pancake Valley Shortstacks this weekend, daring the halflings to meet them in their home venue of Dragon Spine Arena. The halflings gleefully accepted, eager to sample the orcish cuisine known as "knuckle sandwiches". Either someone never told them what that means, or there were going to be some orcs with very sore hands.

The crowd was nearly evenly split by numbers, but the orc fans out-massed the halfling supporters by at least three or four times. Kicking off first, the halflings' lazy, high kick was fielded easily by Kiro Stormaxe, who set off immediately down the field. Orc strategy would depend largely on avoiding the Shortstacks' two enormous treemen. Brakgul Bloodsnarl missed that memo apparently, and simply took it upon himself to knock one of them over. Mr. Tree hit the dirt with a thunderous crash, but was unharmed. The pitch, however, had been given a sizable groove. Barkley Hobbittosser, the other massive treeman, responded with his usual wooden displeasure, slapping Spinebreakers' troll Zor Loneblow to the ground.

The Shortstacks, battle-ready but not completely foolhardy, drew themselves back, dodging nimbly away from the onrushing orcs, playing their style of zone defense to compensate for their small stature. Kiro Stormaxe saw the opening this created, but it was part of the plan for the halflings. No sooner than had Stormaxe made his cut out to the sideline, Fatty "Fatty" Fat Fat came rolling through (no, seriously, he was not running) and shoved Stormaxe down under his ominous rolls. The ball squirted free into the crowd, and was nearly grabbed up by Pimpley Backfat.

Kiro Stormaxe, having shoved the bulbous Fat Fat aside, regained his footing and hunted for the loose ball. unable to pick it up cleanly, it bounced through the melee until blitzer Galthuk Battlewail managed to get ahold of it. In defense, Barkley Hobbittosser hurled an unsuspecting Jiff Jellyroll into coverage to stop him, but the halfling landed unconscious and was merely a speed bump on Battlewail's journey. Meanwhile, the path stayed relatively clear as the orc blockers, led by Kolark Bonefist, kept Mr. Tree on his stump indefinitely. Godan Rockmaul joined Kiro Stormaxe in blazing a path, and Galthuk Battlewail followed them up, joining his fellow blitzers in the end zone for a bit of a dance. The crowd went wild as the Orky Shuffle was born.

On defense now, the orcs kept to their game plan. The halflings looked for their quick tossing play to earn them a tying score, but when Mr. Tree lobbed Fatty Fat Fat skyward, the rotund fellow landed with as much grace as an ogre belly-flopping into a slaughterhouse. Zor Loneblow crashed once more into Mr. Tree, and both giants fell to the ground, though the treeman got the worst of it. as time ticked away, the Spinebreakers made every attempt to make life miserable for every halfling within arm's reach. Soran Steelfury brought his elbow down on Cam Sizzlespam, leaving him mangled and in need of some serious recuperation time.

With he ball unguarded, Gan'rul Bloodeye made his grab for it, but upon picking a target, bobbled the ball before he could get it away. In a last-ditch effort, Hobbittosser hurled the closest halfling available, Cream Sugarfoot, towards the ball, but the halfling stumbled trying to reach it. Time expired in the first half and the Razor Hill Spinebreakers held the lead going into the second half.

The halflings seemed all business upon their return to the field of play, but even their steely gazes earned them scorn from the loud, rowdy orc fans. To make matters worse, once the kick was put into play by the Spinebreakers, Douche Baggins was clocked with a well-placed stone from somewhere in the crowd. This angered the mighty Hobbittosser, and his first course of action was to knock out Brakgul Bloodsnarl with a swat of his massive arm that sent the blocker hurtling directly into the infirmary to sleep it off. In the confusion, Douche Baggins had managed to right himself and made a run for the end zone with the ball. Soran Steelfury was on him in a heartbeat, however, and Baggins was clobbered soundly, needing to be dragged off by the coaching staff.

Barkley Hobbittosser seemed content to keep up his strategy of hurling halflings headlong into harm's way, but his sweaty, terrified teammates quickly became too slippery to get a good grip on. Tumbling from his grip as if they had been secreting butter from every pore, Hobbittosser had to look for drier projectiles or simply resort to smashing things first-hand. Halfling #7, Dip Deadweight, got ahold of the football, but was laid out by the big fist of Godan Rockmaul, who retrieved the ball and started downfield. The hits kept coming as Borgosh Hellrage joined the charge, putting Cream Sugarfoot on his backside and doing his bes to keep pace with Steelfury, who knocked out Tub Trollfodder and kept going.

Finally, Hobbittosser was able to get a grip on a halfling, and hurled a dazed Flapjack Porkbelly into coverage. Desperately needing a stop, Sloth Lovechunk dashed in, vaulted over his fallen comrade, and punched Soran Steelfury square in the nose! Steelfury lost his grip on the ball, and Lovechunk gathered it up and pitched it as far downfield as he could. There waiting, however, was Gan'rul Bloodeye. After bobbling the ball yet again, it seemed there might be a chance for the halflings, but Dip Deadweight, on whom all hope was riding, tripped over the foot of the orc he was escaping from and fell head-first onto a discarded armour spike, reducing him to brain-kabobs. Finally getting his act together, and perhaps inspired by this recent gruesome development, Bloodeye tossed the ball to Kiro Stormaxe in the open, and Stormaxe ran unhindered into the end zone just as time expired. The final score - two to nothing for the Razor Hill Spinebreakers.

The match MVP awards for this game went to Cream Sugarfoot of the Shortstacks, and Soran Steelfury of the Spinebreakers, who played very strongly, keeping the opponent at a distance while running through coverage. Also notable were fellow blitzers Godan Rockmaul and Galthuk Battlewail, who were twin pinnacles of defense throughout the match. With role models like Beef Bigaxe and Raziek Bloodrage to look up to, is it any wonder that these orcs are rushing headlong towards greatness?

Kickoff! Spinebreakers and Carnosaurs Battle to Draw

The honour of kicking off the MMBBL's 2008 Autumn season went to the Darkmire Carnosaurs and the Razor Hill Spinebreakers this Tuesday, at Dragon Spine Arena. Surprisingly, more Carnosaurs fans were on hand than Spinebreakers supporters, presumably because of the influence and/or appeal of the numerous dragons in the region. After winning the coin toss, the Carnosaurs chose to receive first, and the Spinebreakers put the ball in the air to start this season off.

Quick to recover the kick was Reedrush, one of the Carnosaurs' speediest skinks. Reedrush blazed a trail upfield, only to be upended by blitzer Soran Steelfury of the Spinebreakers. Just as soon as the ball was lost, though, it was scooped up once more by another eager skink. This time it was Mudrunner getting his shot, deftly picking up the dangerous, spikey dragon egg the Spinebreakers use to play. Cruising past the line of scrimmage, Mudrunner scampered out of the orcs' reach, the significance of which was emphasized as Zor Loneblow brought his trollish brute force to bear on saurus Firetongue, putting the latter out of contention. Still, no orc player could match speed with Mudrunner, and the skink soon scored the first touchdown of the season, putting the Carnosaurs ahead one to nothing.

Now came the orcish offense's chance to prove itself. As the Carnosaurs put the ball in play, a great cheer went up for the lizardmen, and the Spinebreakers had to have been a little upset that their own fans weren't able to match the roar. Perhaps the uncertainty manifested most clearly when Zor Loneblow attempted to plow through Threehorns and was himself knocked down for the count. Loneblow would not return for the remainder of the game. Things went from bad to worse for the orcs, as Reedrush pounced on the ball and handed it away to fellow skink Pondskipper. Meanwhile, saurus Wildfang continued with the war of attrition, taking out thrower Gan'rul Bloodeye and thereby robbing the Spinebreakers of one of their offensive weapons.

Hope did show for the Spinebreakers, however, as their offensive line closed up around the skink runners and their advance ground to a halt at midfield. Time began to wind down as saurus, skink, and orc grappled for a ball that was nearly as dangerous as the players themselves. At last, orc blitzer Godan Rockmaul hurled himself into the pile of bodies and emerged with the prize, putting the game's lone scorer, Mudrunner, out of commission. With no time to spare, Rockmaul then wheeled out of a makeshift pocket of orcs and tossed a desperation pass to line orc Rok Straglash. Straglash did his part and brought in the catch, then shifted away from coverage and charged heavily down the pitch, giving everything he had and being rewarded with a last-minute touchdown. At halftime, the score was tied at one apiece.

A return to the field saw the relentless Carnosaurs attempt to take advantage of the depleted orc forces, and as they sent the dragon egg ball sailing into Spinebreaker territory, the lizardmen poured on an impressive blitz. The orcs adapted impressively though, and the fast-working Kiro Stormaxe handed off to Galthuk Battlewail, who made his run up the gut to burst past the onrushing Carnosaur defense. Before the reptilian raiders could put it in reverse, Battlewail was off to the races and gave the Spinebreakers the lead early in the second half.

The last thing that the Carnosaurs might have expected was for the Spinebreakers to throw a blitz play of their own once they kicked the ball away, but it became evident quickly that the last thing the Spinebreakers were expecting was for the lizardmen to disregard the tactic and continue with their offensive plans, much like the orcs had just done. As the physical debate over who was, in fact, the more confused of the two teams, Puddlejumper found his bearings and the ball as well. hurtling through the confused offense and equally bewildered defense, Puddlejumper squirmed his way to daylight and trotted in for the touchdown while everyone else wondered what was going on.

Not much time remained in the game, but the ball was kicked to the orcs and they were given one last chance to come away with the W. Unfortunately the staunch Carnosaur defense was back to their strong play, reading the offensive line perfectly and producing a defense to match it. Rok Straglash made a final effort to move the ball, but couldn't keep his feet and crashed to the ground as time expired. The final score was a 2-2 tie, though both teams showed plenty of resolve and flashes of great skill.

MVP awards for this match went to Mudrunner, who scored the first touchdown of the season thanks to his surefootedness, and to Kiro Stormaxe, the latest in a line of elite orc blitzers to enter the league. Also noteworthy was the play of Rok Straglash, whose stocky frame hides a nimble core, coupled of course with good old fashioned orc sneakiness.

(Pictures to follow when we get some decent shots)

be sure to tune in again soon, sportsfiends, for coverage of the other two games out of Bloodbath division - the Asgard Raiders taking on the Pancake Valley Shortstacks and the Fly-by Knights facing the Traumatic Takedown!