This is Magical Mister Mudd, making a special guest report on last night's brutal match! Gildengrip's Gold Miners took on the Dusk Hill Dirt Bursters in a mangling exchange.
The Miners pushed hard against the seemingly immovable line of undead and managed to pull off a fan-pleasing 2-0 victory. The first half's touchdown scored by Quincy McUicksilver, who is a rising star in the Miner's lineup. A last desperate touchdown came right at the buzzer from an unlikely play by Adam McMentium (who also got the MVP for the team) who picked up a missed long bomb from good ol' Quincy and just barely crossing the white line. In a later interview, Mr.McMentium mentioned that fighting Mummies has put the art of injury into perspective and will know exactly how and where to hit his future opponents, promising future bloodshed to any in his way.
The Dirt Burster's MVP was Chunk Norton, a zombie who the judges deemed was shambling in perfect form throughout the match. The pair of mummies, Magut and Khermit, managed to send four dwarves out on stretchers (prompting the Miners to finally purchase an apothecary with their winnings) including sending Mick Mythril to the infirmary with a fractured skull (the healers admit that injury will come more swiftly to him now). Khermit later said, over a fifteen minute long sentence, that he learned something about blocking during the game. Though not willing to wait another half-hour for him to droll out another word, the reporters figured that this inspiration was done in memory of Hungry Ned, a ghoul put to his unressurectable death by Quincy McUicksilver in the third quarter.
The Dusk Hill's Necromancer coach was quick to enlist a new ghoul fresh off of the graveyards. His mouth was still full of flesh at the time of the signing, so he was unable to introduce himself. Only time will tell what monicre this new ghastly player will adopt.
This is Magical Mister Mudd, for the MMBBL update. Back to you, commish!
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Monday, October 22, 2007
What's Green, Loud, has 44 Legs and a Football?
Two Orc Blood Bowl teams on the pitch, of course!
This weekend's match saw that Greenskin Bumlookers edge out a 1-0 victory over the Meathooks, with every inch of field position being fought over without remorse. The match was destined to be a hotbed of hostility from the first play, as Bumlookers blitzer Red Marx was tossed from the game for the only (detected) foul of the match. Injuries were certainly a factor early on, with two near-death experiences being handled by the two squads' apothecaries. The Meathooks, however, might be better off with a box of band-aids and some polysporin.
The undoing, for the Meathooks, proved to be a number of false start penalties which cost them on a few critical plays. Their defense was stifling however, and it's to their credit that the Bumlookers, now featuring three Black Orcs on the front line, only managed the one touchdown.
The MVPs of the match were both highly deserving in the spirit of Orcish sports, in that they both caused a casualty. Chip Bonesaw, the new kid on the Meathooks squad, showed he's got the blocking skills to play with the big boys. Roger Knightly, his counterpart on the Bumlookers, displayed great poise and field presence, and is becoming another emerging pro for that squad.
In injury news, Ben Dover has recovered from his previous mishap and will be ready for the next Bumlookers game. Bloatgaar the Flatulent of the Meathooks suffered a smashed hand and will miss a game as a result.
This weekend's match saw that Greenskin Bumlookers edge out a 1-0 victory over the Meathooks, with every inch of field position being fought over without remorse. The match was destined to be a hotbed of hostility from the first play, as Bumlookers blitzer Red Marx was tossed from the game for the only (detected) foul of the match. Injuries were certainly a factor early on, with two near-death experiences being handled by the two squads' apothecaries. The Meathooks, however, might be better off with a box of band-aids and some polysporin.
The undoing, for the Meathooks, proved to be a number of false start penalties which cost them on a few critical plays. Their defense was stifling however, and it's to their credit that the Bumlookers, now featuring three Black Orcs on the front line, only managed the one touchdown.
The MVPs of the match were both highly deserving in the spirit of Orcish sports, in that they both caused a casualty. Chip Bonesaw, the new kid on the Meathooks squad, showed he's got the blocking skills to play with the big boys. Roger Knightly, his counterpart on the Bumlookers, displayed great poise and field presence, and is becoming another emerging pro for that squad.
In injury news, Ben Dover has recovered from his previous mishap and will be ready for the next Bumlookers game. Bloatgaar the Flatulent of the Meathooks suffered a smashed hand and will miss a game as a result.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Week Four Begins with a Whimper
Onyl one game this weekend to kick off the post-Thanksgiving (yeah, we're Canadian) Blood Bowl action, with the Meathooks meeting the Fly-by Knights this past Sunday. A nice day, roaring fans and the occasional squelching sound of a hot dog vendor being toosed over the balcony to the pitch below - what could be better?
The match wound up going in favour of the Knights, by a score of 2-1. Scoring for the Humans were catcher Stanley "Stainless" Steele, who was nearly char-broiled by a bolt of lightning from out of the clear blue sky (authorities suspect attempted arcane homicide, as Mr. Steele had not, to anyone's knowledge, angered a thunder god lately) and also Wamsley Wedgeworth, who was recently signed by a major outfitter to endorse their new "Xtra Plate" line of armour. The touchdown for the Meathooks was scored by line orc Bloatgaar the Flatulent, who is rumoured to have developed a special "pre-game meal" which adds a burst of speed to his running patterns.
MVP selections for the matchup were Beefquake of the Meathooks, who was an unstoppable dynamo of pushing, shoving, and all-around rudeness, and the just-back-from-serious-injury Flash Madison of the Fly-by Knights, who has lost any hope of being a physical presence and has embraced a more underhanded role, desperate to regain some measure of glory in the eyes of fans, now that the mere mention of being tackled causes him to curl up into a fetal crouch.
There were two injuries for each side in the match, though none was serious enough to warrant extended time away from the field for any player.
After the match, the Fly-by Knights' coach announced the signing of lineman Solomon Squatz, to increase their roster size to 14 and "really, REALLY make sure that the catchers don't have to be on the field unless they have to be".
Finally, after the game, the Meathooks' head coach held a press conference with the coach of the Greenskin Bumlookers, to finally plan out what the fans of both squads have been waiting for - Orc on Orc violence! Watch for this game to occur within the next week; it's sure to be a wild one!
The match wound up going in favour of the Knights, by a score of 2-1. Scoring for the Humans were catcher Stanley "Stainless" Steele, who was nearly char-broiled by a bolt of lightning from out of the clear blue sky (authorities suspect attempted arcane homicide, as Mr. Steele had not, to anyone's knowledge, angered a thunder god lately) and also Wamsley Wedgeworth, who was recently signed by a major outfitter to endorse their new "Xtra Plate" line of armour. The touchdown for the Meathooks was scored by line orc Bloatgaar the Flatulent, who is rumoured to have developed a special "pre-game meal" which adds a burst of speed to his running patterns.
MVP selections for the matchup were Beefquake of the Meathooks, who was an unstoppable dynamo of pushing, shoving, and all-around rudeness, and the just-back-from-serious-injury Flash Madison of the Fly-by Knights, who has lost any hope of being a physical presence and has embraced a more underhanded role, desperate to regain some measure of glory in the eyes of fans, now that the mere mention of being tackled causes him to curl up into a fetal crouch.
There were two injuries for each side in the match, though none was serious enough to warrant extended time away from the field for any player.
After the match, the Fly-by Knights' coach announced the signing of lineman Solomon Squatz, to increase their roster size to 14 and "really, REALLY make sure that the catchers don't have to be on the field unless they have to be".
Finally, after the game, the Meathooks' head coach held a press conference with the coach of the Greenskin Bumlookers, to finally plan out what the fans of both squads have been waiting for - Orc on Orc violence! Watch for this game to occur within the next week; it's sure to be a wild one!
Monday, October 1, 2007
Great Match, Ridiculous Amounts of Money, and New Hirings!
A make-up game for the Greenskin Bumlookers took place this Sunday, against the Fly-By Knights. This game had the greatest attendance to date, no doubt due to the hype generated around the team's coaches - rumour has it they've schooled, worked, and even lived together! Certainly the groundwork for an intense rivalry is being laid.
The game itself started in the rain, under the lights. The Knights grabbed the lead early on with a touchdown pass from Lance Freely to Stanley Steele, and then recovered the ball on defence to see it run in for the score by lineman Reginald Reginald III. The Bumlookers countered in the second half, after a tussle between the two teams on the pitch, with line orc Rod Harding bringing in the touchdown on a beautiful catch. In an amazing turn of events, the Knights dealt more damage than they sustained, injuring three Bumlookers and being no worse than knocked out themselves.
MVPs for the match were Abraham Sandwich, lineman of the Fly-By Knights, and Red Marx of the Bumlookers, who is showing his potential as a true professional Blood Bowl player. Also of note was the unflappable resolve and focus of Knights' catcher Stanley "Stainless" Steele.
A very spirited match for both sides, and it showed in the winnings, as each team pocketed 70,000 gold each! As a result, the Bumlookers hired on black orc Phil McKrackin to add even more muscle to their formidable front line, and the Knights signed blitzer Chet Jackweed, possibly the single most cocky individual to ever dance in the end zone.
Due to the holiday weekend coming up, arrangements are being made to have two more games played in the coming week. All the news and reports on them will be here as soon as they're made available to the press!
The game itself started in the rain, under the lights. The Knights grabbed the lead early on with a touchdown pass from Lance Freely to Stanley Steele, and then recovered the ball on defence to see it run in for the score by lineman Reginald Reginald III. The Bumlookers countered in the second half, after a tussle between the two teams on the pitch, with line orc Rod Harding bringing in the touchdown on a beautiful catch. In an amazing turn of events, the Knights dealt more damage than they sustained, injuring three Bumlookers and being no worse than knocked out themselves.
MVPs for the match were Abraham Sandwich, lineman of the Fly-By Knights, and Red Marx of the Bumlookers, who is showing his potential as a true professional Blood Bowl player. Also of note was the unflappable resolve and focus of Knights' catcher Stanley "Stainless" Steele.
A very spirited match for both sides, and it showed in the winnings, as each team pocketed 70,000 gold each! As a result, the Bumlookers hired on black orc Phil McKrackin to add even more muscle to their formidable front line, and the Knights signed blitzer Chet Jackweed, possibly the single most cocky individual to ever dance in the end zone.
Due to the holiday weekend coming up, arrangements are being made to have two more games played in the coming week. All the news and reports on them will be here as soon as they're made available to the press!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
