The Spike! Championship Game: Guts, Gold, and Glory

Last night, in front of some 60,000 roaring fans, the best two teams in the MMBBL clashed in the biggest night of their lives. Both played hard, both fought mercilessly, but in the end there can only be one victor. It took them a come-from-behind drive late in the second half and then overtime to seal the deal, but the Dusk Hill Dirt Bursters came away with the 3-2 victory over Gildengrip's Goldminers. This, ladies and gentlemen, was one for the ages.

The first half started with a strong push from the Goldminers - in the form of the daunting Cave-Gaper deathroller. It made good use of its one trip onto the pitch, mulching zombie lineman Stumps O'Boggy, who luckily regenerated most of his mown-off parts. In response, the ever-impressive Magut made Irgon McIrons scream for mummy and put him out for the match. The score was tied after the first half, with Ned Gummers running an exceptional ground pattern for the undead and Quincy McQuicksilver of the dwarf squad cruising through the defense like a hot dwarf through butter.

The second half brought everything to a fever pitch, and saw the Dirt Bursters lay the hurt on the Goldminers. Early on, Orem Fullstock used his unconventional jump-training to motor down the field. As luck would have it, the Dirt Bursters' hired wizard was not drunk, merely disorderly, and dropped a little lightning on the charging dwarf. Fullstock survived the incident, however, and treated the fans in the end zone to the pungent odour of flash-baked dwarf sweat, to take the lead with a quarter to go. Things got messy after that, as things tend to when the undead are involved, as Ol' Teabagger the ghoul smacked Gilgarry Goldrush into the infirmary, and resident zombie hero Chunk Norton actually roundhouse kicked line dwarf Shamus smith to death. The foul went unnoticed, likely for fear that he would turn his deadly foot on the ref himself. As a result, Smith was buried in the dugout, but shortly thereafter rose and shambled across to the undead bench during a commercial break. The Dirt Bursters then charged down the pitch and Ol' Teabagger brought the game to a deadlock with mere seconds remaining. The game proceeded to overtime, and while the Dirt Busters maintained a numbers advantage, the Goldminers had the upper hand in training.

The Goldminers won the toss and gained posession early on a bad kick, but the Dirt Bursters jumped into the fray and came out of the pile with possession. it was only a matter of time before Ol' Teabagger tore down the field, and put the game away to the collective moans of the crowd - Goldminers fans in anguish, Dirt Bursters fans in what passes for enthusiasm among the undead.

The match MVPs for the Spike! Championship game were Finnick Ferrus of the Goldminers, and the impressively destructive Chunk Norris. Other standouts included Magut, the only mummy with the presence of mind to guard his cohorts, and Ol'Teabagger himself, who seems to get faster every day.

The Spike! Tournament MVP award is presented to the most outstanding star in the league, regardless of their team's success in the playoffs. This year, the honour was shared, and by two members of the same team. Gilgarry Goldrush and Quincy McQuicksilver, the elite running backs for Gildengrip's Goldminers, both showed that some dwarves can really run, and pass, when need be. Each had five touchdowns this season.

The Dirt Bursters will be back to defend the league championship for the Winter season, while the Goldminers are returning home for a long season of drinking and mining. Chances are they'll return in nicer weather, shinier than ever!

For all of us here at the MMBBL, I'm Commissioner Matt Stroud. They may be dead, but no one is living it up quite like the Dirt Bursters today. Goodnight, and we'll see you soon when the Winter season kicks off! New teams, new players, and new reasons to call in the paramedics!