And now what you fans have all been waiting for - the MMBBL's award ceremony for the Autumn 2008 season! We've got the best and the brightest, the toughest, the roughest, and of course, the worst performances in the league!
Starting things off is the winner of the Silver Elbow, awarded to the player with the most completed passes in the league. This one's a no-brainer folks. With his closest contender, Fivel Mausketrap, a full seven completions behind, our winner here is Lance Freely of the Fly-by Knights with a staggering twenty completions this season. With an arm that never tires and more moves than an afternoon at chess club, there's nowhere to go but up for this young gun.
Next on the list come the big playmakers. The guys who, through force of will, brute strength and sweet moves, got the ball over that goal line the most times this season. To no one's surprise the winner is Tsih Killwillow of the Blueriver Wardoves with seven big scores. He was chased the whole way, though, by teammate Angruil Grimmrose, as well as Knights' receiver Stanley Steele and Go'nads' runner Dick Gozinia with six scores each. Killwillow, who also took home the Spike! Magazine cover deal, has shown nothing but the best in leadership-by-example for his high-flying team.
Next up, what some say is the hardest award to win...on purpose at least. And in that spirit, there was no single winner of the Brass Doorknob award for Undeniable Interference. There were only three interceptions all season in this league, likely due to a combination of highly accurate throwers and incredibly stubborn runners. The three picks that did get pulled down came from a diverse set of players. Firstly, Sue Xtopilopicoatl of the Chupacabras, who showed us how high a leapin' lizard can get. Next up was Victor Dashing of the Knights who did a little bit of everything, and did it very well, this season. Finally, from the "really had no business doing anything with a hand that doesn't involve punching" category, Orok Deathbane of the Spinebreakers, who by reasons we can only describe as the quantum probability of time and space skipping a beat, pulled in an errant pass of his own.
There were several players in the running for the Commissioner's Medal for Exemplary Brutality this season...until Cludge Slamboni got it in gear and ran away with it. With a whopping six serious injuries to his name, the Smash and Go'nads' deathroller pilot left his mark on the league this year, a greasy, pulpy smear that no other player could hope to live up to. Worth mentioning, however, in the category of actual confirmed kills, are three players who left their marks on the rosters of their opponents. Barkley Hobbittosser made not only a name for himself, but likely a species, genus, and possibly a phylum as well when he obliterated an unknown Norse journeyman in a game against the Asgard Raiders. A few games later, Fly-by Knights ogre Barglesnart Livingstone abruptly and colorfully brought an end to chaos dwarf Rip Tendon after hurling the Traumatic Takedown player into a vat of known unknowns, possibly the most philosophical death in league history to involve turning purple and catching fire. Finally, Reptar the Reprehensible of the Sun Temple Chupacabras gorefully terminated Tanthil Twigbreaker of the Blueriver Wardoves in playoff action, leaving barely enough to pass off as a jar of pasta sauce, let alone enough for a proper burial.
The player to be awarded the most MVP accolades over the course of the season was the impressive Fhorin Bloodmeadow, with three such awards to his name. Despite a late-season injury which will no doubt affect his quick mobility, he remains a fantastic all-round athlete and a credit to the Wardoves squad. Many other players earned a pair of MVP nods, but close doesn't count in the MMBBL.
Finally, our award for overall points gain and season MVP award goes to...Victor Dashing of the Fly-by Knights! Dashing made his mark in every aspect of the game this season, earning two MVP awards, a trio of casualties, three touchdowns, a completion, and even an interception. He's been seen lately chilling with Spike! player of the year award winner Tish Killwillow at some of the biggest events in Blueriver and Valor Keepe, and it's rumoured that the two are planning to open a lucrative nightclub in the off season.
Rounding out the top ten of overall points were Tsih Killwillow with 27, Dick Gozinia and Kiro Stormaxe with 24, Stanley "Stainless" Steele with 23, Reedrush and Twinkletoes with 21, Lance Freely with 20, and Egor Longrow and Dingleberry with 19 each.
Finally, the saddest sack, the lamest duck, the Big Fat Zero award goes to...the Buccinator of the Traumatic Takedown! This surly underachieving line dwarf did nothing impressive except possibly be the most unimpressive player all season! Even his teammate Rip Tendon had the good sense to get himself killed. We'll expect more from the Buccinator when we see him next. Why? because frankly, it's impossibly to set the bar any lower than ground level!
That's the lot of them, sportsfiends! Here's wishing you and yours a happy holiday season, and be sure to check back in the off-season for updates regarding new teams, new coaches, rules, events, and above all, MMBBL mayhem!
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