A Legend is Lost

In the game of Blood Bowl, there are great victories, as well as great losses. A league of action, excitement, and suspense, the MMBBL prides itself on being both thrilling and shocking, with emotion running high not only on the pitch, but in the stands and across the known world itself. Despite all this, no one could have foreseen, much less been ready for, the events of last week's challenge match of the Dusk Hill Dirt Bursters and the Meathooks. What follows here is only one point of view, one thin sliver of the moments which passed into history that day. There may be millions more - all holding in common the one question.

Where were you when the Legend fell?

The warm sun shone down on the pitch, and brief gusts of wind blew through the stadium as the MMBBL's two most storied teams took to the field. Separated into different divisions due to expansion, this match had been anticipated since the first kickoff of the Summer season. The Meathooks won the coin toss and elected to receive first. The wind picked up slightly as the ball was kicked into play, but proved of little consequence. Unfortunately for the Meathooks, their first pass of the game fell incomplete from Pickles to the usually-adept Hammish, and on the miscue the orc line began to collapse before the ravenous undead. Through the gaps like a bullet came who else but Ol' Teabagger, eager to make an opponent pay for its mistakes for the umpteenth time. Leaping over a fallen black orc, cruising towards the ball, O.T.B. scooped up the prize and was on his way! The only one who could hope to stop him was Gristly Slötturhaus, but the troll proved largely ineffective as opposed to simply large, and while he idly inspected the contents of his nostrils, Ol' Teabagger easily made his way down to score the first point of the game.

Once again, the Dirt Bursters kicked off to the Meathooks. The orc offense seemed much better prepared this time, even more prepared than the undead as they quickly shifted to optimize their position. Pickles caught the ball with ease, and handed off to the mighty Beef Bigaxe, the Meathooks' hard-working captain. Breaking through the surprised Dirt Bursters defense, Bigaxe was well on his way to scoring the equalizer until he was taken down by the quick Chompsalot. Coming out of the woodwork to seize another opportunity, Ol' Teabagger once again arrived ont he scene to retrieve the dropped cargo. Falling in with support from two wights, he made his way down the sideline and out of the reach of many orc players. All of them, in fact, save one Ramrod Meatmissile - a humble lineman who had only ever played a supporting role on the Meathooks squad, having only one casualty to his name and serving primarily as the free bread in a seven-course meal. However ordinary he may have been, he was about to get his moment in the spotlight.

Dodging out of coverage with skill born of pride and grit, Meatmissile weaved his way around the protection of the wights and threw a desperate block against the O.T.B., planting his feet firmly and giving the ghoul a mighty shove. Unbeknown to Meatmissile, he had firmly planted his feet directly on top of Ol' Teabagger's feet, in fact crushing several bones in the process. The sensation briefly reminded the ghoul's twisted corpse of the sensation of death, locking his limbs into a nervous memory of rigor mortis. With no way to roll with the blow, Ol' Teabagger's spine simply cracked and broke at the pelvis, and Ramrod Meatmissile ran forward another two or three yards before realizing that he had torn the undead player in half and was now draping his gore all along the sideline. The hush of death overcame the crowd for a moment, until a cry of "It's OVER!" erupted from an orc fan. The Dirt Bursters' faithful moaned and shuffled in woeful sorrow, but were drowned out by legions of death-crazed orcs chanting the name of the most unlikely of heroes - Meatmissile! was the name on the lips of every greenskin across the continent.

Finally recovering from the shock of the situation, the two wights handy to the disaster made their best effort to shove Meatmissile around, but merely pushed him onto the ball, where the surprising orc retrieved it. Finally, Lez White stripped him of the prize and recovered it, only to taste a flying forearm from Beef Bigaxe, come to protect his teammate. With the ball squirting free and the bodies piling up, the nimble Bahnaynay arrived to pick up the leftovers, and went almost unnoticed in scoring a touchdown while the rest of the players brawled in the dirt. At halftime, the score was 2-0 for the Dirt Bursters, but with the void of their best player looming large, not one of them felt like much of a winner.

The start of the second half did nothing to quell the mutterings among the crowd. People frantically tried to cancel bets. Orcs were drunk and rowdy with more than usual fury. The shambling hordes of undead looked more lost than usual, and even less happy to be there. Indeed, several had already gone back to their tombs in mourning. Nevertheless, the show did go on as Chompsalot fielded the kick. Hoping to give the undead a taste of their own medicine, the hulking T-Boner plowed through the undead line, making room for blitzers Beef Bigaxe and Moose Burger to follow up through the gaps. Bigaxe quickly stripped the ball from Chompsalot, and Burger snatched up the football. Attempting a pass to Chip Bonesaw, Burger could only grumble as the line orc dropped the pass.

The reality of the situation finally registering in the rotted minds of the Dirt Bursters line, the smashiest of smashies began their retaliatory rampage. Khermit, roaring with unholy unpleasantness clobbered black orc Grunt Skunchman, removing the big fellow from contention. Chompsalot recovered the ball once more from where it lay, and broke through the line to horrible daylight, flanked by fellow ghoul Bahnaynay. Beef Bigaxe made his best effort and stripped the ball again, but left himself open for abuse for his trouble. Chunk Norton hustled out of the pile-up and blitzed Bigaxe over the guardrail and into the crowd, where he was carried high on the arms of ecstatic orc fans until they deposited him at the dugout. Though thankful that their own star was saved from possible doom, the Meathooks unfortunately lost track of the ball at this point, and the impressive Bahnaynay gathered it into his arms and ran it in to add another point to the board.

With little time remaining, the Meathooks would have to stomach the loss of the match, but with the added sugary sensation of eliminating the greatest player in the league, it wasn't very hard to take. A few brief passing plays by Pickles and Hammish ended the contest with the Dirt Bursters taking the three to nothing victory, but without the usual joyful echo if the undead crowd to go with it. Still, despite this great loss, the Dirt Bursters have a strong corps of ghouls remaining, led by new leader Ned Gummers, with Chompsalot bringing his everyday fiend approach to the game and rookie Bahnaynay showing flashes of brilliance.

The match MVPs for the game were the mighty T-Boner of the Meathooks, and the very deserving Chompsalot of the Dirt Bursters, who really stepped up and showed dazzling agility all game long.

Only a few matches remain, sportsfiends, before the playoffs begin for the Blood Bowl Summer Championship! We'll have more reports in soon, from both myself and from the exciting gameday journal of your favourite Coach Wrangler!