Playoffs Round Two: Dirt Bursters Bury Knights

In semifinal action last night, the Dusk Hill Dirt Bursters advanced to the championship round with a victory over the Fly-by Knights, with a final score of 3-1.

The first half gave the impression of a high-scoring affair, With two touchdowns scored by the Dirt Bursters and one for the Knights. Ghouls Chompsalot and No-Guts Bob had the scores for the undead, while Flash Madison, in a departure from his usual role as the subtle boot of justice, had a touchdown for the human squad. The second half was far less wide-open, and the Knights' first drive was stifled in a giant pile-up. A blown pass attempt resulting in a turnover gave the Dirt Bursters the opportunity they needed to strike again, and Chompsalot put the game away for good with his second score of the night.

The match's MVPs were Mummy Magut of the Dirt Bursters, who registered a trio of casualties (none of which were serious) and lineman Abraham Sandwich of the Knights, who gained his third MVP vote and marking him as possibly the most famed and admired player to ever do not much of anything. Other notable plays involved No-Guts Bob dying when trying to run that extra yard, but remembering at the last second that he was already quite dead and should probably just get up and keep going; Reginald Reginald III of the Knights suffering a crippling injury but coming out of the surgery room right as rain; Lez White being unceremoniously dumped into the stands and carted off to who-knows-where; Flash Madison not getting caught by the refs on a record six consecutive foul attempts; and the the Dirt Bursters' hired wizard getting completely hammered and forgetting about casting a spell at all.

The Knights wish their opponents well, and are looking forward to next season's meeting, since they closed out their season by signing one Barglesnart Livingstone, who may be the only ogre to be knighted. The circumstances of this title are as yet unknown. The Dirt Bursters, meanwhile, cleaned up well with their victory and are now considering the hiring of a fourth Ghoul and another linechump...that is to say, a zombie or skeleton.

Playoffs Round One: Orcs Fall, Cannot Get Up.

The preliminary round of the 2007 Autumn season of the MMBBL has come to pass, and if there's one word to use to describe the playoff outlook, it would not be "green". Both the Meathooks and the Bumlookers have been eliminated; the former by their opponents, the Dusk Hill Dirt Bursters, and the latter via default.

The Dirt Bursters beat the Meathooks by a score of 2 to 0, with Stumps O'Boggy getting the undead MVP nod for his strong blocking.The two mummies, Magut and Khermit, were also valuable forces on the pitch. Grunt Skunchman, the Meathooks' new black orc, impressed the crowds today with his first MVP vote. The Meathooks may be down, but they certainly aren't out, and they look forward to the new season beginning in January.

The Low Blows will advance to the semifinals due to scheduling problems which resulted in the Greenskin Bumlookers failing to show for their match. It has since been learned that they have defected to the obscure "Blood Bowl in Hedonism" league, due to such exclusive perks as mandatory pantless tournaments and free oil rubs. They may be seen in the future in inter-league play, and they will be missed by everyone, except possibly embarrassed announcers trying desperately to remain family-friendly during prime time.

And now, on to the semifinal matches! Tomorrow, The Lowblows play the Goldminers, and the Dirt Bursters play the Knights! Expect carnage, excitement, and a wizard or two if they can sneak past security!

Week 5 - The Last Hurrah

Three games to report on from this past week, the final week before playoffs commence in the MMBBL! (Accounts have been abbreviated due to being busy and eventually forgetting some things, sorry.)

The first match saw the Greenskin Bumlookers positively routed by Gildengrip's Goldminers. The final score was 4-0, and right from the get-go it looked like fate was stacked against the Orcs. Pro Blitzer Red Marx was tossed out on the first play for a flagrant foul, and it went downhill from there.

In match number 2, The Fly-By Knights Edged the Meathooks 2-1 in a gritty affair. Unfortunately for the Meathooks, promising lineman Chip Bonesaw suffered a broken neck, while the Knights' new blitzer Chet Jackweed took a spill which will see him benched for their first playoff game.

The third and final regular season match pitted the Low Blows against the league-leading Goldminers, and this one was closer than the 2-0 'miners' victory margin would leave you to believe. Both teams were very good defensively and bottlenecked running routes became the order of the day. After the game, the Goldminers announced that they had signed a Deathroller onto the squad for the playoffs, which will likely give this elite team the extra push (or trample) it needs to be the victors when the dust settles.

More coming soon, including results from the first playoff match!

The Miners put the Bursters back in the grave!

This is Magical Mister Mudd, making a special guest report on last night's brutal match! Gildengrip's Gold Miners took on the Dusk Hill Dirt Bursters in a mangling exchange.

The Miners pushed hard against the seemingly immovable line of undead and managed to pull off a fan-pleasing 2-0 victory. The first half's touchdown scored by Quincy McUicksilver, who is a rising star in the Miner's lineup. A last desperate touchdown came right at the buzzer from an unlikely play by Adam McMentium (who also got the MVP for the team) who picked up a missed long bomb from good ol' Quincy and just barely crossing the white line. In a later interview, Mr.McMentium mentioned that fighting Mummies has put the art of injury into perspective and will know exactly how and where to hit his future opponents, promising future bloodshed to any in his way.

The Dirt Burster's MVP was Chunk Norton, a zombie who the judges deemed was shambling in perfect form throughout the match. The pair of mummies, Magut and Khermit, managed to send four dwarves out on stretchers (prompting the Miners to finally purchase an apothecary with their winnings) including sending Mick Mythril to the infirmary with a fractured skull (the healers admit that injury will come more swiftly to him now). Khermit later said, over a fifteen minute long sentence, that he learned something about blocking during the game. Though not willing to wait another half-hour for him to droll out another word, the reporters figured that this inspiration was done in memory of Hungry Ned, a ghoul put to his unressurectable death by Quincy McUicksilver in the third quarter.

The Dusk Hill's Necromancer coach was quick to enlist a new ghoul fresh off of the graveyards. His mouth was still full of flesh at the time of the signing, so he was unable to introduce himself. Only time will tell what monicre this new ghastly player will adopt.

This is Magical Mister Mudd, for the MMBBL update. Back to you, commish!

What's Green, Loud, has 44 Legs and a Football?

Two Orc Blood Bowl teams on the pitch, of course!

This weekend's match saw that Greenskin Bumlookers edge out a 1-0 victory over the Meathooks, with every inch of field position being fought over without remorse. The match was destined to be a hotbed of hostility from the first play, as Bumlookers blitzer Red Marx was tossed from the game for the only (detected) foul of the match. Injuries were certainly a factor early on, with two near-death experiences being handled by the two squads' apothecaries. The Meathooks, however, might be better off with a box of band-aids and some polysporin.

The undoing, for the Meathooks, proved to be a number of false start penalties which cost them on a few critical plays. Their defense was stifling however, and it's to their credit that the Bumlookers, now featuring three Black Orcs on the front line, only managed the one touchdown.

The MVPs of the match were both highly deserving in the spirit of Orcish sports, in that they both caused a casualty. Chip Bonesaw, the new kid on the Meathooks squad, showed he's got the blocking skills to play with the big boys. Roger Knightly, his counterpart on the Bumlookers, displayed great poise and field presence, and is becoming another emerging pro for that squad.

In injury news, Ben Dover has recovered from his previous mishap and will be ready for the next Bumlookers game. Bloatgaar the Flatulent of the Meathooks suffered a smashed hand and will miss a game as a result.

Week Four Begins with a Whimper

Onyl one game this weekend to kick off the post-Thanksgiving (yeah, we're Canadian) Blood Bowl action, with the Meathooks meeting the Fly-by Knights this past Sunday. A nice day, roaring fans and the occasional squelching sound of a hot dog vendor being toosed over the balcony to the pitch below - what could be better?

The match wound up going in favour of the Knights, by a score of 2-1. Scoring for the Humans were catcher Stanley "Stainless" Steele, who was nearly char-broiled by a bolt of lightning from out of the clear blue sky (authorities suspect attempted arcane homicide, as Mr. Steele had not, to anyone's knowledge, angered a thunder god lately) and also Wamsley Wedgeworth, who was recently signed by a major outfitter to endorse their new "Xtra Plate" line of armour. The touchdown for the Meathooks was scored by line orc Bloatgaar the Flatulent, who is rumoured to have developed a special "pre-game meal" which adds a burst of speed to his running patterns.

MVP selections for the matchup were Beefquake of the Meathooks, who was an unstoppable dynamo of pushing, shoving, and all-around rudeness, and the just-back-from-serious-injury Flash Madison of the Fly-by Knights, who has lost any hope of being a physical presence and has embraced a more underhanded role, desperate to regain some measure of glory in the eyes of fans, now that the mere mention of being tackled causes him to curl up into a fetal crouch.

There were two injuries for each side in the match, though none was serious enough to warrant extended time away from the field for any player.

After the match, the Fly-by Knights' coach announced the signing of lineman Solomon Squatz, to increase their roster size to 14 and "really, REALLY make sure that the catchers don't have to be on the field unless they have to be".

Finally, after the game, the Meathooks' head coach held a press conference with the coach of the Greenskin Bumlookers, to finally plan out what the fans of both squads have been waiting for - Orc on Orc violence! Watch for this game to occur within the next week; it's sure to be a wild one!

Great Match, Ridiculous Amounts of Money, and New Hirings!

A make-up game for the Greenskin Bumlookers took place this Sunday, against the Fly-By Knights. This game had the greatest attendance to date, no doubt due to the hype generated around the team's coaches - rumour has it they've schooled, worked, and even lived together! Certainly the groundwork for an intense rivalry is being laid.

The game itself started in the rain, under the lights. The Knights grabbed the lead early on with a touchdown pass from Lance Freely to Stanley Steele, and then recovered the ball on defence to see it run in for the score by lineman Reginald Reginald III. The Bumlookers countered in the second half, after a tussle between the two teams on the pitch, with line orc Rod Harding bringing in the touchdown on a beautiful catch. In an amazing turn of events, the Knights dealt more damage than they sustained, injuring three Bumlookers and being no worse than knocked out themselves.

MVPs for the match were Abraham Sandwich, lineman of the Fly-By Knights, and Red Marx of the Bumlookers, who is showing his potential as a true professional Blood Bowl player. Also of note was the unflappable resolve and focus of Knights' catcher Stanley "Stainless" Steele.

A very spirited match for both sides, and it showed in the winnings, as each team pocketed 70,000 gold each! As a result, the Bumlookers hired on black orc Phil McKrackin to add even more muscle to their formidable front line, and the Knights signed blitzer Chet Jackweed, possibly the single most cocky individual to ever dance in the end zone.

Due to the holiday weekend coming up, arrangements are being made to have two more games played in the coming week. All the news and reports on them will be here as soon as they're made available to the press!

Week 2 Action, Several in Traction.

A decidedly brutal week 2 kicked off on Sunday in the MMBBL.Three games were played and it's safe to say that some serious grudges are developing.

In the first game of the day, Gildengrip's Gold Miners squared off against the Fly-by Knights. Both teams were bringing a lot of talent and guts to this match, and in the end it was a 1-1 tie on the scoreboard. The Gold Miners handed out the lion's share of the whupping, but skill managed to save the Fly-by Knights from suffering their first defeat. MVPs of the match were Mick Mithril of the Gold Miners, and Thrower Jacques Strappe of the Knights, who played very strong and has shown some phenominal physical development since last time we saw him play. A nod goes out as well to Blitzer Cyrano de Baggagerack, who scored the Knights' touchdown and had an interception as well.

The match was, as can be expected, a violent affair as well. Irgon McIrons, a previous MVP of the Gold Miners, suffered a broken neck and will be hard-pressed indeed to get himself of dangerous situations. Twice as bad for the Fly-by Knights as their previous MVP, Lineman Karl von Uberstamp, had his hip sundered and will be slower because of it, while catcher Flash Madison broke his collarbone and is now a poster boy for physical frailty.

In the second game, the Dusk Hill Dirt Bursters trounced the Low-Blows 3-0. The Dirt Bursters are developing into quite a force, and this game was highlighted by the stellar play of the Ghouls. Despite their competence, the MVP award for the undead went to Khermit the Mummy, who based on sideline accounts was shoved around a lot and moaned occasionally. For the Low-Blows the award went to Footsy Shinstomp, who may have been responsible in part for a wight spending almost the entire match in the dugout seeing stars. Ol' Teabagger of the Dirt Bursters deserves a nod for his two touchdown scores in the game.

The third game of the day was nearly cancelled due to the Bumlookers failing to show, but an eager Gold Miners squad happily obliged the Meathooks and the game was on! Te final score was a 1-1 draw, which left both teams wondering just how long they had actually bothered with the football at all. This was the second meeting of these two teams, and a bit of a rivalry is brewing here.

Starley O'Steele took the MVP award for the Gold Miners, and was an undeniable presence on the line of scrimmage. Beef Bigaxe of the Meathooks was the other MVP, displaying an herculean effort which led to the Meathooks' touchdown. He's quickly making himself a favourite for league MVP in the early running and it will be exciting to see where his play takes him in the coming weeks!

All in all a very intense week of play! Hopefully int he days to come we can bring you the next Bumlookers match, as well as more action from all the other teams in this great league! Stay tuned!

Brief Notes: League Signings

Not much in the way of signings this week, but it should be noted that the Fly-by Knights have signed Lineman Reginald Reginald III to fill a gap left by the injured Max Limit. Limit will be returning next game. Coach Matt Stroud cites this signing as "a solid step forward in our goal to get our catchers off the field during defensive plays". We'll see how Mr. Reginald fares in his match tonight against the Gold Diggers.

Week 01 Photos, better Late than Never!

Here's a few photos from the games player in week one. Please note that the team being used to represent the Meathooks (they're known as the Biledriver, from one of my previous seasons), are now representing the Greenskin Bumlookers in the league, with another Orc squad being used for the Meathooks from this point on.

Say hello to the Dusk Hill Dirt Bursters, resplendant in their...well, dirt.

Behold their first opponents, the highly snazzy Fly-by Knights!

The MVPs from their first match, Karl von Uberstamp for the humans, and Lez White for the undead!
Meet Gildengrip's Gold Miners, just about as shiny as it gets!And here's the Meathooks squad (or the Bumlookers, depending on what day it is I suppose) They're mean with a capital M!



The MVPs from their match, Irgon McIrons of the dwarf squad and Lockjaw for the orcs!
A moment of silence for the passing of Neddrig McNickles.
PUT TO DEAD!
Tomorrow is gameday once again, sportsfiends! reports will follow soon!

More Week 1 Results

In the final match of week one, which was delayed due to scheduling problems, we saw the Greenskin Bumlookers battle the Low-Blows, and a battle it certainly was. The Bumlookers took the match 2-0, and cause frequent, though not permanent, damage to the Low-Blows. The match's MVPs were Smurfbite for the dwarven squad, and quarterback Ben Dover of the Bumlookers, who twisted and turned his way to the award. Possibly the dirtiest match to date, there were no less than half a dozen attempted fouls. Also of note was the completion of not one but TWO completed passes by dwarf lineman Flossin Wedgie.

Now all eyes are on this Sunday, when more bonecrushing contests will take place. Commissioner's choice of Game to Watch? The Meathooks-Bumlookers match at 2 in the afternoon. Orc vs orc, and the result can only be green and hurty. See you then!

Someone call a surgeon...or at least get some duct tape.

Curtis Hunt gives us his his rendition of what happened when Lanks McBreak, skeleton of his team the Dirt Bursters, got knocked over by Fly-By Knights Thrower Jacques Strappe. At least you're better off than that Dwarf who died!

Week 1 Results

Two games on Sunday afternoon, both low-scoring and violent affairs!

In a fast-paced game 1, the Fly-By Knights and the Dusk Hill Dirt Bursters battled to a 1-1 tie, punctuated by several injuries, including an unlikely casualty caused by Knights' thrower Jacques Strappe. Stanley Steele caught the Knights' touchdown, while Lez White had the run-in score for the Dirt Bursters. MVPs for the game were Wight blitzer Lez White, who played a frenzied match, and lineman Karl Von Uberstamp, who threw several key blocks.

In game 2, a decidedly brutal affair, Gildengrip's Gold Miners squeezed out a 1-0 victory over the Meathooks. Most notable in this game was the what we assume to be excruciating death of Dwarf blitzer Neddrig McNickles at the hands of Orc Blitzer Beef Bigaxe. The lone touchdown was run in by Dwarf runner Gilgary Goldrush. MVPs for the match were Orc lineman Lockjaw and dwarf lineman Irgon McIrons.

As of now, the current standings are as follows.

1. Gildengrip's Gold Miners 1-0-0
3. (tie) Fly-By Knights and Dusk Hill Dirt Bursters 0-1-0
4. Meathooks 0-0-1
6. (tie) Greenskin Bumlookers and Low-Blows 0-0-0 (have not played yet)

Look for future updates soon, as the Greenskin Bumlookers and the Low-Blows have got two, count'em TWO games against each other coming up, in what pomises to be the most brutal doubleheader of the season.

Kickoff!

Today marks the beginning of the Fall 2007 MMBBL season! Due to some external problems there will only be two of the possible three matches today. At 2:00 Atlantic time, the Fly-By Knights face off against the Dusk Hill Dirt Bursters, and the Meathooks do battle with Gildengrip's Gold Miners. In addition to game reports after they've been played, we're going to have pictures of the participating teams. Since the Meathooks aren't done up all pretty yet, they'll have a stand-in (though still well-painted) orc squad.

As the commissioner, I'm hoping that this really takes off and that we have a great season filled with lofty highs and crushing lows. As a team owner, I must express my glee at the prospect of touchdowns, level-ups and having a strong team full of character. As a long-time Blood Bowl player who's finally getting to play again, I'm just plain happy to be here today for the action!

More to follow once the games are done!

Team Profile #1: The Fly-By Knights

Team: The Fly-By Knights
Owner: Matt Stroud
Colours: Blue, Green, White
Team Captain: Lance Freely (thrower)
Assistant Captains: Abraham Sandwich (lineman), Cyrano de Baggagerack (blitzer)
Motto: "Fiducia est nunquam Fragilitas" (Confidence is never a weakness)

Composed of the most athletic gentry from miles around, the Fly-By Knights are an elite squad whose strategy is based around one highly held belief - that they are, quite simply, better than everyone else. It is not meant in an obnoxious way, nor do they flaut this idea excessively. They merely refuse to accept that anyone can possibly challenge them when they put their collective minds to winning. When they win, their frame of mind is justified, bolstered, and they may go on long winning streaks as a result of swelling confidence. When they lose, it hits hard, and means that they did not have the spirit required, nay, expected of them to complete their goal.

When off the field, the Knights are frequently models of community spirit. Signing autographs comes naturally to them, since running a small barony or dukedom means there's a lot of paperwork to go around. Several team members take part in mini camps for children (without all the spiky parts, usually) and everyone at the asylum smiles when they show up for "celebrity/invalid jousting days" - hardly any casualties last year!

When the return to the playing field, however, the good nature and friendly spirit is replaced by a steely resolve to compete and make their opponent fight for every last inch of progress on the pitch. Sunny smiles turn to the grin of men seeking the challenge in all they do, and happy eyes shine instead with the dream of being the best there is at this most noble of contests.

Fight Song of the Fly-By Knights

We stand with one purpose, one goal and one dream
To excel at whatever we do
Our weapons are confidence, skill, strength and pride
And also, we're better than you.

We are better than you,
So much better than you,
We shout it for all men to hear

We are better than you,
So much better than you,
And we wonder why you are still here

Shoulder to shoulder, together one team
We see every challenge right through
And you will be glad you're along for the ride
Because frankly, we're better than you.

We are better than you,
So much better than you,
We shout it for all men to hear

We are better than you,
So much better than you,
And we wonder why you are still here

You say we are arrogant, so it would seem
But we know in our heart it is true
That this confidence comes from a place deep inside
That tells us we're better than you.

Know your Players

This league is just getting off the ground, but we've got a good group of characters running the teams. Six coaches so far, and hopefully more at the end of this first season. We'll learn more about these warriors as we go on, but for now here's a taste of the talent that will be tearing up the pitch this Fall!

Matt "The Commissioner" Stroud - Human team - The Fly-by Knights
Chris "Magical Mister" Mudd - Dwarf team - Gildengrip's Gold Miners
Geremy "I <3 Green Things" Walker - Orc Team - The Greenskin Bumlookers
Curtis "D&D Minis Will Do for Now" Hunt - Undead Team - The Dusk Hill Dirt Bursters
Sandy "The Thriller" Miller - Orc Team - Not Yet Named
Dave "Omnivorous; Bipedal" Rigley - Undecided Team - Not Yet Named

More will follow soon, including team crests (since we're all animators and therefore feel the need to illustrate everything we do) theme songs (thank you, NFL Films!) and player rosters! Talk to you again soon, sports fiends!

Hello, Sports Fiends!

Welcome to the Mighty Miramichi Blood Bowl League (MMBBL) blog! This blog will detail the teams, players, matches and other important (or silly) aspects of this new league, based in Miramichi, New Brunswick, Canada.