Dirt Bursters, Knights Release Players

Three players have been let go by their respective squads this afternoon - two by the Dusk Hill Dirt Bursters and one by the Fly-by Knights.

Dirt Bursters management has ordered that skeleton Feeble McWeakerton and zombie Boz Squats be re-buried to make a dent in the recurring expenses incurred by the star players on the team. The two players have had a total of zero MVP awards, touchdowns, interceptions, casualties, completions, fans, friends, loved ones or anything else since they joined the team back in the Autumn season. Whether or not they are recalled in the event of additional player death remains unknown, but reports say that the firing came as a result of their failure to protect Blacky Gobbler from being smeared all over the pitch in their last match, as well as a looming threat to other low-production players to shape up or be shipped out in a series of buckets.

The Fly-by Knights also announced the release of lineman Reginald Reginald III, though with much less animosity and no orders of interment. The Knights' management and R.R.III mutually agreed that after his serious injury against the Wardoves, he would no longer be able to serve his liege in an on-field capacity. He has accepted a generous management position with the team and will be recognized as their defensive coordinator from this point on.

That's all from the newswire here at the MMBBL.