Undead Dynasty? Dirt Bursters Defend Title

A combination of all-around team effort and unfortunate miscues by their opponents has given the Dusk Hill Dirt Bursters their second consecutive MMBBL Championship title. The final score was 3-0 in a match that went almost completely according to their game plan.

The game began with the deafening roar of innumerable orcish fans, which was soon followed by the equally awful din as those fans stormed the field to beat the tar out of the Dirt Bursters. Fortunately for the undead squad, most of their players managed to bury themselves under the pitch before the mob arrived, and as a result were mostly capable of starting the first drive. With disturbing efficiency, the electrifying undead recovered from their premature interment and who else but Ol' Teabagger marched the ball down the field for the score.

When their first drive started, it was a bad case of deja vu for the Meathooks as Gristly Slötterhaus apparently hadn't yet learned not to eat the goblins he's supposed to throw. As a result, newcomer Hammish was nearly devoured and was grievously wounded upon wriggling free. Amid the confusion, who should appear but Ned Gummers, and the ghoul pounced on the loose ball and quickly made tracks to the end zone.

As their final chance of the first half began, the Meathooks nearly responded, after a thrown rock knocked Blacky Gobbler out cold and created an opening in the undead defense. Beef Bigaxe used an herculean effort to pummel his way through three ghouls and a zombie, only to run out of gas at the goal line and collapse in a heap. The bell sounded and it was 2-0 at halftime.

After the break, the Meathooks came out playing desperately to close the gap. They returned to their pushing and shoving roots, but the undead matched them at every turn. Ol' Teabagger was thrown into the stands after the ball came loose, but Chip Bonesaw, who dispatched him thusly, was immediately revenged upon as he too was pushed out, and given a serious wound that saw him depart for the remainder of the match.

With time running down, the Meathooks made an effort to save some face and at least put a score on the board, but they could never have foreseen how it would go wrong on them. Tossing up a pass to pick up a good chunk of yardage, Beef Bigaxe was intercepted by zombie all-star Chunk Norton, leaving everyone in the stadium speechless. His teammates rallied around him, and several minutes later the toughest of customers shambled his way into the end zone, sealing the victory for the Dirt Bursters.

MVPs of the match were T-Boner, newcomer black orc of the Meathooks, and feel-good story of the season Lanks McBreak of the Dirt Bursters, who rose above his station, challenging all opponents to play with as much vigor mortis as he could muster. Hats off, Lanks. Hats off.

While the undead were visibly (and possibly necromantically) energized by the victory, the Meathooks were not so disheartened by the loss. This season has been a great step forward for them, and we anticipate that they will be a force to be reckoned with for many seasons to come.

That's all from the Dungeonbowl Championship, thanks for tuning in, sportsfiends!