Hello out there, sportsfiends, and welcome to the first awards ceremony for the Chaos Cup in the MMBBL. We've got some familiar faces as well as several newcomers receiving awards this season. Illustrations will follow as they come in.
The League MVP award this season goes to - who else? Ol' Teabagger of the Dusk Hill Dirt Bursters blew the competition away with 27 total player points this season, and despite taking a bit of a tumble in his last match, is sure to return and put up big numbers again for the Blood Bowl.
The "In the Zone" Award for most touchdowns in a season goes to the O.T.B. as well, and while others came close, the ghoul's seven scores brought home the trophy. Leaping, dashing and biting his way out of coverage, it seems nothing will stop the one they call The Man from duplicating his success in the future.
The Commissioner's Medal of Exemplary Brutality, presented to the player who caused the most destruction out on the field this season, is presented to the mummy Khermit of the Dirt Bursters. Khermit equals the total put up by Gort Crudhammer last season, and the two may chase each other to next season's award.
Receiving the Silver Elbow this season for most completed passes is Lance Freely of the Fly-by Knights with an impressive nine throws landing safely in his receivers' hands. Watch for this award to be heavily contested next season, as more agile teams take the pitch and less emphasis (albeit only slightly less) is placed on crushing.
The Brass Doorknob award for Undeniable Interference, which goes to the player with the most interceptions, almost didn't have a winner this year. Not a single interception was made all season, until by some strange twist of fate, a ball was thrown directly into the pointy headgear of the Meathooks' T-Boner, and the officials ruled it a pickoff. Congratulations T-Boner, though we don't particularly expect more of the same.
Awarded the Silver Lining this year for the most game MVP awards is the Brutakai Ragefangs' own Kragor Clawfang, who somehow earned three of the awards in only five games. Either the fans really, really love him, or they just don't much care for anyone else. Perhaps he has the look? Perhaps he's got all the right moves. Perhaps he fixed the vote. In any case, he's won the cape!
Finally, the Big Fat Zero, the dubious Why Bother award, presented to the lazy, unfortunate, or otherwise ineffective player who earned nothing this season but a smack in the mouth from his coach, goes to Bacon Sandwich of the Meathooks. Sandwich made zero passes, zero interceptions, zero hits, zero blocks, zero touchdowns, zero impressions, and from all accounts zero effort on his way to the award this year. When pressed for comment, his response was limited to "don't hit me!"
And there you have it folks! The best of the best, the worst of the worst. The skilled and the lucky. The strong, the swift, the rough and the smooth. These are your 2008 Chaos Cup award recipients!
Don't forget, sportsfiends, the Blood Bowl season begins in one week! Time to hammer the dents out of the barbecue and grill up some squig dogs! See you then!
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