The final game in Bloodbath division's first week of the MMBBL's 2008 Autumn season saw a returning, veteran Fly-by Knights squad take on the up-and-coming Traumatic Takedown on the chaos dwarves' homefield. Expectations for both teams are high this season; the Knights have proven their skill yet have no championships to show for it, while the Takedown are subject to the demanding standards of surly dwarves, mean-spirited hobgoblins, and dangerously opinionated centaurs among their fans. To boost their appeal for the season's first game, the Takedown hired on recurring favourite Zzharg Madeye, and brought it what we presume is a large enough sum of money to keep officials from noticing his signature football-firing front-loading blunderbuss.
The Traumatic Takedown won the coin toss and chose to kick first, and you could see in the eyes of the line dwarves that they had a plan. Sure enough, as soon as the ball was over midfield, the Takedown showed the blitz and surged into Knights territory. The human team held its ground and kept its collective cool, however, and Lance Freely calmly retrieved the football and threw it to his favourite receiver, Stanley "Stainless" Steele. Steele made no mistake on the catch, but when trying to stretch out for extra yards down the sideline, fell after a misstep on the turf. Nevertheless, the bulk of the Takedown's defense had committed to the blitz, and Steele had ample time to get back up, brush himself off, and carry the ball in for an early lead.
The Takedown fans at the Operating Room weren't happy, and the uproar of ""Unhorse the Knights!" went up around the stadium. The Knights fans made their best effort to counter with a cheer of "Steele is the Reele Deele!" but simply did not have the edge in lungpower. Taking the field for the kickoff, the chaos dwarf squad had a couple of options at hand - Would they make use of Madeye's deep passing ability, or go with the strong running game centered around ace centaur Charlie Horse? The answer became evident quickly as Horse got his hands on the ball and moved downfield. The Knights' defense was quick to react, however, and the wall of linemen quickly closed off any avenue of passage. Charlie Horse turned on a dime and backtracked along the line of scrimmage, making his way to more open pastures.
The rest of Horse's team began to do their part for their runner, as first Rip Tendon knocked out blitzer Victor Dashing, and then Ortho Pnoea did likewise to Chet Jackweed. Charlie Horse made his move, attempting to capitalize on the compromised backfield coverage. Out of nowhere, though, came Knights newcomer Humphrey Bogatyr to knock Horse to the earth. Before he had a chance to celebrate his debut, though, Plex Fracture of the Takedown roared in with a head of steam, snatched up the ball, and got the glory for Charlie Horse's hard work by marching in for a touchdown. As the teams lined up for the final few minutes of the first half, a passing comment from Horse to Bogatyr was misinterpreted and started a minor scuffle on the field. After the game, the misunderstanding was brought to light: Charlie Horse, showing his respect for Bogatyr's strong tackle, made mention that perhaps his mother had been a horse herself. While this was a high compliment regarding the stamina and resolve of Bogatyr's lineage, the lineman took great offense initially. Once the cultural divide was bridged, however, the two shook hands on the matter and there were no hard feelings. Where else but in the MMBBL does one find such cross-species brotherhood and respect?
When time came for the second half to get underway, the teams took the pitch but not a single official could be found. Of course, the fans were suspected, but being that there's not neraly enough time to search each and every one for bits of referee, the game continued without delay. The Knights kicked once more to the Takedown, and once more Charlie Horse got the call to take the ball in on the ground. Now, the Knights were determined not to allow the chaos dwarves to gain the advantage, and brought out their heaviest hits to protect their end zone. Leading the charge was Jacques Strappe, the rippling running back, as he plowed through Ortho Pnoea without any sign of slowing, and Pnoea was dragged back to the dugout where he was pronounced "pooped". Still carrying the ball forward, Charlie Horse threw a blitz on Cyrano de Baggagerack, but the human shrugged the shot off smartly, and Horse wound up taking the fall. With that, the Knights rallied to the spot and began to turn up the physical game, shoving hobgoblin and dwarf alike all over the field.
Out of the chaos, Knights blitzer Victor Dashing, who'd awoken from his brief first-half nap, scooped up the football and was on his way. Linemen Abraham Sandwich and Max Limit followed him up as a protective force. With little time to spare, the duty fell to Rip Tendon to knock the blitzer down, and the dwarf delivered, putting Dashing on the dirt and knocking the ball free. Fortunately for Dashing, wingmen Sandwich and Limit did their job right, too, and shoved Tendon out of the way, leaving room for Vic to get up and get the football over the goal line. The Knights had the lead again, with little time left to spare.
in the dying minutes of the second half, the Traumatic Takedown had their work cut out for them, and the Knights defense wasn't about to make it easy for them. The green and blue defense read the chaos dwarf offense like a book, and reorganized themselves on the fly to dig in for the big stop. With everything riding on one big block, Charlie Horse plowed into Barglesnart Livingstone, and both players fell to the ground. That was it for the Takedown, but it also turned out to really be it for Rip Tendon. As Livingstone stood his hulking frame back up, the ogre grabbed the nearest thing to hit, and that thing was Tendon himself. The buzzer sounded just as the ogre's throw released, flinging the dwarf player headlong into the research pit on the sidelines, where he landed in a vat of bubbling chemicals, turned purple, caught fire, and died. He was removed by the medical staff, but even then, all they could manage to do was make him turn even purpler, catch fire some more, and die again.
What may sting the most for the Takedown is that after such a strong performance defensively, Rip Tendon was posthumously awarded the MVP for his side. For the Fly-by Knights, Stanley Steele was given the award. Also noteworthy was the effort of Victor Dashing, who made several stunning moves on his way to the end zone. After the game, the Takedown's management announced that while they would miss the presence of Rip Tendon, they would be unveiling a "very big surprise" for their next game in two weeks' time.
And that's the first week out of Bloodbath division, sportsfiends! This Tuesday we kick off Deathdealer's divisional play - returning teams the Wardoves, Smash and Go'nads and the Bilgerunners will test the skill of newcomer squads the Chupacabras, Stinkers and Berserkers, respectively. See you then!
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