Two Weeks' Worth of Procrastination. Here's the news in brief!

Due to a combination of writer's block and tightly-packed schedules, MMBBL blog updates were stymied these last two weeks. Since going back to write up for each game, at this point, would only delay future reports as well, we're going to give you the reports in brief from each of five games that recently went down.

Week two action saw three games played, the first of which was a battle between the stalwart Smash and Go'nads and the highly unfortunate Muenster Valley Stinkers.
When all was said and done, the score was a surprisingly narrow victory for the Go'nads, 3-2, with the winning touchdown coming very late in the second half. Stu Padasso, Adam Meway and Moe Lester scored for the dwarves, while Nudgy Bangfart and Donker Dungheap earned the goblin squad's points. MVPs were Stu Padasso and Windmill Widegut. Widegut also suffered a serious injury in the second half, and will miss the next game as a result.

Second on the card was a match between the highly-favoured Blueriver Wardoves and the newcomers of the Sun Temple Chupacabras.
The hometown team beat the odds and came out with a 3-2 victory of the Wardoves. Touchdowns for the lizardmen were scored by Pablo, Harpo and Sue Xtopilopicoatl, while Fhorin Bloodmeadow and Albiir Featherdeath put points up for the elves. MVP awards went to El Mucho Grande, saurus of the Chupacabras, and Fhorin Bloodmeadow, the Wardoves blitzer. Tanthil Twigbreaker suffered an undisclosed but non-serious injury, and will be resting up during the Wardoves' upcoming second game.

The third and final match of week two pitted the speedy skaven of the Blackwater Bilgerunners against the rowdy chaos forces of the BloodDrunk Berserkers. We did manage to get this report in from one of our skaven correspondents, and here's the wire from the Tidybowl now.
Tonight's match was the inaugural meet at the Bilgerunners Tidybowl, and the cool dank air that passes for a nice day in the city cisterns greeted nearly twenty thousand rabid fans. Fresh off their preseason matches, the Blackwater Bilgerunners took to the field with professional confidence, flanked by their new assistant coach and cheerleading team. Facing them would be the chaotic BloodDrunk Berserkers, resplendent in their spiked crimson armor, and snarling in defiance.

As the Chaos Warriors kicked to the Skaven team, it appears the Bilgerunners' new assistant coach was already earning his keep. With O'Rattigan roaring and pounding through the front lines, Skaven captain Fivel Mausketrap scooped up the ball, lobbing the pass off to Twinkletoes. Breaking through the newly opened hole in the Berserker defenses, Twinkletoes sprinted into the end zone in a textbook Rat Rush. The Bilgerunners looked to have all the breaks so far, could the Berserkers respond?

The answer came in the sound of diesel fueled mayhem as Max Spleenripper took to the line of scrimmage. Once again the coaching staff of the Bilgerunners were at their peak, and the ball sailed off to rest in a far corner of the Chaos field. Brilliant coaching was no match for the spinning chromite teeth however, as Max tore into O'Rattigan with his trusty chainsaw. First blood had been spilled, and the rat ogre was sent to the infimary for the rest of the match. Apparently, brute force was an excellent response to speed and skill in this league, as braying beastmen Skin Shredder and Gutripper knocked the sense out of Gurglergasp and Gimpy respectively. Meanwhile, Warheart had fetched the ball, and was quickly surrounded by his fellow beastmen and chaos warriors, setting up a strong defensive cage that moved cautiously upfield.

The steady march of the Chaos team was almost overshadowed by the mixed brawls on the field. At one point, the chain on Max Spleenripper's saw snapped, stunning him breifly. It's hard to keep a good maniac down for long, as he recovered enough to clobber Stumptail with the chainsaw's heavy gearbox. The clock was running down, and the Chaos team was approaching the end zone. Warheart, apparently bored with the steady coverage of the advancing cage, broke loose for a blitz, stunning one of the storm vermin. The opening was just enough for Krunch to throw a desperate block at Warheart. Both dropped and the ball rolled back towards Chaos Warrior Ozz Painkiller, who retrieved it handily. Painkiller slipped towards the sidelines, letting the spread of his team-makes tie up the skaven defenders. But once again, courage or desperation seized the skaven, this time in the form of Squeesplat, who, breaking free from Cardo Starbreaker at midfield, crashed into the mighty Painkiller, knocking the ball to Twinkletoes. With a few final punches, the whistle was blown on the first half, and a relieved cheer went up from the skaven fans as Max Spleenripper left the field.

It was the Chaos fans that would be cheering after the halftime however, as once again Max Spleenripper took to the field! Apparently the referee was more interested in his own well-being than a clean game. As usual, the coaching was flawless for the skaven, but the kick was not, nearly landing in the hands of Ozz Painkiller. Max was up to his usual mayhem on the front line, and it wasn't long before Jenner was clocked by the flat of the chainsaw, and had to be dragged off the pitch.

Painkiller picked up the ball, and once again, a defensive cage gathered around him. The Bilgerunners mounted another effort to breach the Chaos defenses, with Fivel Mausketrap even managing to knock Skin Shredder unconscious. But the Chaos team was ready for these moves, and inflicted greater casualties, with beastman Face Eater sending Krunch off for a nap, and Max sending a heavily bleeding Brutus to the infirmary. Nimble-fingered apothecaries were standing by however, stitching him up expertly for the next drive. With few of the rats left to challenge him, Ozz strode over the finish line to the raucous cheers of the Chaos fans, and Max was finally ejected from the stadium for good.

The chaos team had definitely knocked the wind out of the Bilgerunner sails, as the latter team took to the pitch looking exhausted. The Berserkers kicked the ball just behind the line of scrimmage, to be scooped up by Fivel, throwing the ball laterally to Twinkletoes. The catch was fumbled however, and the ball proceeded to bounce wildly in the scrum at mid-field. Neither skaven nor beastman could get a grip on the slippery skin. Finally, the ball bounced it's way back to Twinkletoes, who was off in a flash across the field to a hole in the line, his fellow gutter runners running interference. With the clock running down, the forces of Chaos expertly tied up any would-be rescuers at midfield, and penned in the advance. Making one last desperate attempt, Twinkletoes attempted to pass off the ball to Piddlepaw, but the ball was fumbled, and a final horn ended the game, knotted at one to one.

A well deserved MVP was awarded to Ozz Painkiller in recognition of his excellent plays and strong blocking, and one to Brutus for assisting his team-mates on the front line. An excellent showing for the BloodDrunk Berserkers in their first match of their young history, to be sure. The Bilgerunners, however, will have the pressure on for their next matches, needing more than ties to keep pace with the league's elite.

On now to the action from week three. Two of the three scheduled games took place, with the Fly-by Knights visiting the Razor Hill Spinebreakers, and the Darkmire Carnosaurs hosting the Pancake valley Shortstacks. The third match, seeing the Traumatic Takedown play the Asgard Raiders at Midgard Battlefield, was delayed on account of Valkyrie interference, and will be played as soon as the meddlesome battlemaidens stop trying to carry the players off the pitch.
The highest attendance so far this season was only the beginning for this match. before the game was even kicked off, the teams needed to be pulled apart as a riot nearly erupted in the pregame warm-ups. Two touchdowns, a handful of casualties and a pitch invasion later, the Knights emerged victorious with a 2-0 win. Points were scored by the explosive Victor Dashing, and later from a surprising effort from lineman Solomon Squatz, who was awarded the MVP award for the humans. Kiro Stormaxe, the latest greenskin phenom in the MMBBL, received the honour for the Spinebreakers. After the match, the orcs needed to fill a gap left by Kolark Bonefist who will be missing a game with an injury, thought all they managed to find was a goblin named Huck Skudfungus, who will likely play the role of projectile.
Game two resulted in an impressive 3-0 victory for the Darkmire Carnosaurs over the Pancake Valley Shortstacks. Skinks Reedrush, Puddlejumper and Mudrunner each scored for the lizardmen, And while the saurus players were uncharacteristically gentle, the halflings managed to sustain three serious injuries. As a result, Pimpley Backfat, Sloth Lovechunk and Cream Sugarfoot will each be missing the Shortstacks' next contest. Pip Pieface did manage to get out alive with the MVP award for his team, while Threehorns of the Carnosaurs earned the accolades for his squad.

And so you're up to date, sportsfiends, however slapdash it may be. What's important is that there's more action happening tonight! Week four is upon us and it's shaping up to be a real doozy!