We go now, live, to Most Likely Swamp Port in Dago's Bog, for our first MMBBL report of the season. With us watching the action is our resourceful skaven correspondent, Bryag Mudrake.
Bryag Mudrake back again, with live coverage from the Dungeonbowl regular season!
It's a beautiful day here in Dago's Bog, where the Stargazin' Farmboys and the Bleakwood Breakers are set to start their official Blood Bowl careers. Both teams suffered some disappointments in the preseason, so the match in the newly minted "Most Likely Swamp Post" Stadium, a re-purposed trapper's market in a dried out field, is going to be a show of heart and rookie skill more than the pre-season brutality we've seen so far. Despite that disappointment, over 19,000 fans have filled the stadium; predominantly humans to root for the home team, but a fair number of Wood Elves have joined the party to see how their new entry in the arena would fare.
The coin is in the air... and the Farmboys win the flip. Looks like they're electing to kick off first! Perhaps they're hoping to get the jump on scoring in the second half. The Breakers and Farmboys take to the field, the kick is off, and it's a Blitz! The Farmboys just blitzed the elves! The burly bruisers have crossed the field and are sending elves crashing to the ground. Still, the kick has landed far back in the enemy territory, and the humans are no match for the graceful elves in raw speed and agility. Elrohir Nolatari has the ball, and sends it hurtling downfield to catcher Tathar Sirfalas. Sirfalas, resembling a startled deer, makes a mad dash for the Farmboys' end-zone. Unfortunately, it looks like he's outstripped his defenders, and the Farmboys have left a couple surprises in the end-zone. Yep, there's Ben-Ken Guinness, who gives Tathar a forceful shove into the crowds for an impromptu autograph session with his field-side fans. Here comes Duke Stywalker, the young thrower for the Farmboys. The ball fairly leaps into his hands, and soars downfield to "Big Sea" Trepiaux. Trepiaux blitzes his way out of coverage, and runs the ball into the end-zone! Touchdown, 1-0 for the Farmboys!
The fans are with the Farmboys today, and a mighty cheer is going up for the human team, giving some heart to this squad of star-struck farmhands. But don't count out the woodland elves just yet! This time, it's a lineman, Camthalion Saralonde in deep coverage that gracefully snatches the ball, and sends it in a perfect parabola towards the Wardancer Cirdan Elensar. As Elensar moves down the sidelines, the flow of play is interrupted by the crash of Belen Telemnar and Bill "Porky" Hootkins collapsing in a pile at midfield! That's enough to give Trepiaux a shot at the Wardancer, and once again, it's into the stands! Unfortunately for Elensar, there were no adoring fans to break his fall, so it's off to the dugout with him until he wakes up.
The Farmboys are setting up some coverage around the ball for the next move, getting it ready for Duke to deliver. But Duke's been distracted! "Hobby" Oldfield goes down on a bad block defending the ball. Seeing the glimmer of hope, Gwindor Felagund and Finrod Celebrindal are off and running! Gwindor goes for the end-zone, and Finrod is heading to the ball! He slides into coverage, dodges free with the ball, and lobs it off to Gwindor! IT'S CAUGHT! The score is now tied at 1!
With the clock running down in the first half, both teams seem to be running low on energy. The elves kick off to the humans, but the ball sails past the end-zone into the stands. Looks like the human coaches have a little something up their sleeve, and the Farmboys manage to scrape up a little more confidence. Perhaps not enough though, as Stywalker sends the ball way off target. The elves move to grab the ball, but once again Beren Telemnar runs afoul of the enemy blitzers, throwing their plans into disarray. Duke has the ball once again, and in the final second of the half, completes a pass to Dan Solitaire, ending the half.
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And we're back! Both teams are taking to the field now, looking rested, refreshed and energized in this next round! It's a tied game here, who knows what could happen? Fortunately for the elves, Elensar is back from his little trip to La-La Land via Spectatorville. Let's see if he can stay out of the crowds this time. Breakers now kicking to the Farmboys, and once again, the crowd is screaming for the home team! Dan Solitaire is heading up along the sidelines, with the blitzers flanking. But once again, Stywalker's aim appears to be as accurate as Imperial Marksmen; about 10 inches over the left shoulder. The Breakers appear to be understanding the limitations of the Farmboys, and are getting much bolder about their nimble coverage; dodging easily out of harm's way to lend vital assists and clog up the avenues of attack for the less nimble humans. Just a moment! Cirdan is yelling out some kind of war-cry... he's making a run for the ball! A spectacular leap over Owen Lard's head and... Oooh, he landed on the ball! That's gotta hurt. That DID hurt, he's out cold again folks! This really isn't Cirden's day.
However, it looks like the elves have really managed to mess up the path of attack for the humans! The path to the end-zone is going to be a slow march through sap to get into position. The humans are muscling the elves out of the way, and Duke once again has the ball! It's off to Solitaire... he's got it! Solitaire trying to dodge out of Tathar Sirfalas' coverage, but he's tackled! HE'S DOWN! Oh, this is a bad one folks, looks like he's unable to get back up. It's off to the injury ward for the rest of this match with Dan Solitaire. He might have been a hot-shot smuggler back in the day, but his record lately has been banter fodder for the sportscasters.
The wood elves are picking up on the miscue quickly, pulling their men out to form a turtle formation in the middle of their zone. Elrohir Nolatari slides past the divot made by Solitaire to grab the ball, then tosses it to Finrod Celebrindal, who is quickly flanked by his teammates at the far end of a large wedge formation. The Farmboys have shoved another of the line-elves into the crowd, and are surrounding the pyramid now. It looks like they aren't willing to punch into such dense coverage yet, lest their quarry get away. And the elves are moving! Lashing out with heretofore unseen ferocity, they're striking out at the humans, and pushing them away from coverage. And Finrod is free! He's halfway into the Farmboys' side of the field already! Man, that's one fast elf! It looks like he's not quite far enough from human defense though... two of the linemen are on their way, looks like Lawson and Hagan... And it's a no-go! The slippery fella is free from coverage, and within reach of the endzone. A few of the other elves are trying to et into coverage, but Olwe Nenharma's gone down! That distraction's all Lawson and Hagan need... and BOOM! Finrod is down as well! The ball is loose!
Duke Stywalker is running for it now. He's firing off a long pass to Bruce Lard behind the remains of the elven defensive shell. HE MISSES! It's off by a mile! Tathar Sirfalas is going for the ball, scoops it up, and just keeps running! Elrohir's moving to the line of scrimmage, and receives the pass from Sirfalas! Oh! Beren Telemnar is down again! Time is ticking down on the clock, and it's still anyone's game! Elves have control of the ball at midfield, Finrod's still within range of the end-zone, and the Farmboys are moving into position! It looks like a couple of the linemen have dashed for the end-zone in the hopes of a miracle! And here comes the pain! "Big Sea" Trepiaux crashes hard into Elrohir, and grabs the ball. He pivots, LONG BOMB off to Hobby in the end-zone... AND HE CATCHES IT! I DON"T BELIEVE IT! "Hobby" Oldfield has caught the ball, and it's a touchdown! 2-1 in the final seconds of the game for the Stargazing Farmboys! Great shot kid, that was one in... a really big number!
A well-deserved MVP goes to Finrod Celebrindal for dealing with enemy blocks in his courageous dashes to the endzone, and a less-deserved MVP goes to Bill "Porky" Hootkins for demonstrating some unexpectedly numble dodging abilities. In addition, recognition of Carl Trepiaux's ability to protect teammates in the depths of coverage, and Duke Stywalker's amazing speed must be noted. Thanks for tuning in tonight folks! I'll have more next week, with the Blackwater Bilgerunners facing off against the Dark Iron Dreadnaughts!
Thanks for that enthusiastic report, Bryag! Up next will be a report from our newest correspondent, Kay Offwrong.
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