Bryag Mudrake here! We've got a great set of highlights from an epic match between the Dark Iron Dreadnaughts and the Blackwater Bilgerunners, coming to you from the Slag Pits of Durr Dammaz! This is the Dark Iron's first regular season match against the highest rated team in the league, a match vaguely reminiscent of the Skavens' first league match against the infamous Dusk Hill Dirt Bursters. Could the dwarves manage to pull off a better victory? With nearly a million gold in inducements, perhaps they have a shot! To help even the odds, the Dreadnaughts were generously supplied with a number of favors from the MMBBL leadership, including the help of Boomer Eziasson, a portable promotion pitcher, and the halfling wunderchef Dobby Flayed. The scent of beer basting and fondue dishes served well to distract the Bilgerunners, and bolster the Dreadnaughts throughout the match.
A respectable amount of disreputable fans filled the stadium: twenty-three thousand all told, with only a meager edge to the skaven crew in this away game. The Bilgerunners won the toss, and elected to receive the opening kick, and that's when things started to get weird. The opening blocks went like clockwork on a quick snap, with Bors Firehammer knocked unconscious by Stumptail. Fivel Mausketrap grabbed the ball and sent it off to Dingleberry without a problem, but Twinkletoes was butterfingered by the scents from the kitchen, and fumbled the handoff. Boomer seemed set to fire off some T-shirts into the crowed, but that portable promotional pitcher turned out to be more of a muscle-mounted mortar, firing explosives into the thick of the rats and blowing Piddlepaw back on his butt. The carnage continued as Crom Deepforge knocked out Stumptail in revenge, opening up the Skaven defense for Rok Emberfist, who snatched up the ball!
O'Rattigan, the Bilgerunner resident Rat Ogre, noticed the break in the line, and started to charge towards Emberfist, only to crash into the Dwarven defenders. It seemed like Rok Emberfist had a clear path to the goal line, when Eziasson lobbed another grenade to decimate the defenders. What he wasn't expecting was an interception by Piddlepaw! Grabbing the incoming explosive, he quickly hurled it towards the dwarven runners, blowing Emberfist off his feet, and knocking the ball free! Fivel was on the ball in an instant, attempting to throw the ball back to the waiting gutter runners, but distracted by the good cooking and loud explosions, fumbled the ball. Once again the Dreadnaughts were quick to capitalize on the Skavens' errors, as Blitzer Valdak Swifthammer nabbed the ball and once again pushed for the end-zone. With Dwarves deeply into skaven territory now, the Gutter runners panicked and teamed up to throw a desperate block, but failed to get any traction. Instead, Valdak lived up to his family name as he swiftly hammered his way through Dingleberry and pushed through to the goal line! One nothing for the Dreadnaughts... and the Skaven are incredibly worried.
As the two teams squared off for a second kick, once again Boomer Eizasson takes to the field, complete with cannon! It looks like either the Dreadnaughts or the MMBBL promoters have come to a little "agreement" with the referees. Once again the Skaven manage to get a jump on the offense at kick-off, leaping past the line of scrimmage to mess up the Dreadnaughts' day. Fivel swings another completion to Twinkletoes, and the Skaven proceed to open a path in the Dwarven line. The dwarves retaliated by having Zordak Stonesmite knock Gimpy out cold as Boomer launched another round of high explosives into the Bilgerunner line. Stumptail, back from his nap, hit Morinn Grudgebearer hard enough to require apothecary attention, giving Twinkletoes a clear run for the end-zone as explosions pitted the field. Rok Emberfist attempted to crash him into the sidelines, but Twinkletoes repelled his attack, knocking the runner over, and striding unopposed into the endzone for the tying point. A final kick to the Dreadnaughts ended the first half with a little combat on the frontline, but little else of interest.
As the second half began, the scent of gunpowder cleared enough to let the scent of dessert sneak onto the field. Dobby Flayed's cooking once again had the Bilgerunners distracted as they kicked off, but some clever coaching helped to reduce the effects. No-one noticed the return of Boomer's bombs however, until Dingleberry was blown off his feet. Ozgar Blackaxe retrieved the ball, and started the forward march as the front line punched into Bilgerunner defenders. Valdak Swifthammer rose up to put Notchear out of the match and into infirmary, followed by Karlax Ironfoe doing the same to Jenner. Both team members should be returning next game. Unfortunately, while the efforts at center-field were proving fruitful to the dwarves, a few rats had reached Ozgar, and were starting to shove him back towards the dwarven end-zone! Desperate to get the ball downfield, Ozgar attempted to dodge out of coverage for a clear pass, but was knocked over by the surrounding linerats! That's all it took for Piddlepaw to snatch up the ball and run it into the dwarven endzone! The score was now 2-1 for the Bilgerunners!
Once again, the Dreadnaughts received, but a high kick allowed Emberfist to get under the ball. With two of the front-line rodents off the field, the dwarves put up a solid blocking game, Karlax Ironfoe and Garn Flintrock knocking out Gimpy and Brutus, further thinning the ranks. Dwarven coverage was thorough down into the end line, leaving naught but the two gutter runners in deep defense to try and block as Emberfist handed off to Ozgar Blackaxe. The hit was good, but the ball bounced into the waiting hands of Valdak Swifthammer! As the defenders knocked the remaining gutter runners out of the way, Valdak pushed hard for the end-zone, and his second touchdown of the day, tying the score again!
With only a little time left on the clock, and no blitzers left in their roster, it would take a perfect play to win this for the Bilgerunners. As the final kick sailed out of bounds and possession awarded to Fivel, the team managed to pull one last quick snap out of their bag of tricks! That maneuver was just enough to surround Ozgar Blackaxe, the only runner capable of reaching Twinkletoes in time as he caught the pass from Fivel and sprinted up-field. Unable to reach the speedy sprinter, the remaining Dark Irons made due with pounding the Bilgerunners in reach until the sound of the horn marking Twinkletoes' touchdown, and the end of the match. With that came the cheering of the skaven crowd, and a veritable stampede as the Dreadnaughts rushed to the mighty banquet in their honor, no rats allowed!
Final score: 3-2 for the Bilgerunners! An impressive display by both teams, and our congratulations to them both for such an explosive match! Match MVPs go to Bors Firehammer for his work defending his fellow teammates, and Brutus for his ability to stand firm in the face of opposition. Other notable achievements include Twinkletoes' refinement of his catching skills, and Valdak Swifthammer's assistance on a field of combat. That’s all from The Slag Pit! We now return you to regular coverage!
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